How Do I Know? | Teen Ink

How Do I Know?

April 9, 2013
By storiesbyanonymous SILVER, Holland, Pennsylvania
storiesbyanonymous SILVER, Holland, Pennsylvania
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you're young, everything feels like the end of the world - but it's just the beginning.


All throughout elementary school and middle school, I absolutely adored math and science. I don't know what it was, but something in the way that it was taught by my teachers have me that spark to make me constantly want to learn more. When I hit high school though, that all changed. I hated my math teachers, and I just didn't find myself loving biology, chemistry, and physics like I thought I would. No matter how hard I tried to rekindle my love for math and science, I just couldn't. Of course, it helps miles that my grandfather is in a huge chemical company ????.

With college quickly approaching in just a couple of years, I now carry the constant familial pressure of living up to my grandfather's legacy. Plus, I'm "the only hope left" - as my mother constantly says, and that's thanks to the lack of accomplishments by my brothers. In all honesty though, I believe I brought all that pressure on myself. For thanks to the limited amount of work given in elementary school, I had bucket loads of time to do whatever I wanted. But, since I never understood the importance of friends until around middle school, I would spend my free time doing my own learning. Also, I could only watch oh so much television due to my one older brother always hogging the couch AND the remote, and my oldest autistic brother whom I could never take the remote from because he could become quite violent, and I was about 1/3 of his size.

Over the years, I've learned to tune out the pressure from my family to go into chemical engineering. But, I can't tune out the pressure from myself. I love writing. And if I could do any one thing all day for the rest of my life, I would choose being a journalist. However, chemical engineering would give me a much higher job security and income level. Everyday, I ask myself whether I would want to make more money doing something I dreaded and am really not the best at, or making less money and doing something I loved to do and am great at. And honestly, I still don't know the answer. I don't think I ever will. Because unless I can somehow pay for my own college tuition and living costs, I will probably never have the chance to find out.



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