Hidden Qualities | Teen Ink

Hidden Qualities

May 31, 2013
By Chloeisaunicorn BRONZE, Stockton, California
Chloeisaunicorn BRONZE, Stockton, California
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Don't give up, pain ends.


As a child all you have to worry about is having fun and having a lot of it. My grandma was one for fun so naturally we got along well. Painting, drawing and coloring together. We were very close, she was like my second mom. I would spend every birthday and holiday with her. Even after birthdays and holidays, we'd spend almost everyday together. I remember one time when I was about 6 or 7, we were coloring and I didn't know how to color in the lines or in one way, it was everywhere. My nana, as I called her, told me to color in the lines. I took that to offense, called my mom and told her what my nana had said. I started crying and told my nana if she didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. My mom told her all I wanted to do was spend time with her, nothing more or less. She apologized and asked for me to forgive her, me being young and forgiving, forgave her. Sometimes I would bring that day up and we'd laugh. I couldn't imagine my life without her, she was apart of me and I didn't want to ever have to say goodbye.. Sadly 3 years ago I did, it was the most painful goodbye yet. November 13, 2010 my nana was diagnosed with colon cancer, incurable. They didn't know exactly how much time she had to live but explained the phases that would happen. She'd lose her strength, later on her voice and her brain would slowly shut down, not being able to do anything. It hit me hard. She stayed with at my house for a bit until my uncle could fix up her room at his house. At night I would sit by her as she lay in my bed, I couldn't sleep thinking if I did she would pass away. When she moved in with my uncle a week later, we noticed the phases the doctor has described would happen. She started losing her strength, so she was unable to walk, shower or eat on her own. She could no longer talk. I helped as best I could. December 4, 2010 we got a call from my uncle, saying it was time. My mom drove over but I stayed, I couldn't bare see her in the state she was in. I ran to the bathroom and let the tears flow. My dad knocked on the door and said she had passed. At the moment I was numb and didn't know what to feel. I was mad and sad but in denial she was gone. After her funeral, I looked around at my family's grim faces and realized how much our lives would change and never be the same again. At that moment I felt something I never felt before, strength. I knew how much my family needed someone to stay strong and keep up the legacy my nana had left. I decided that I would be that person to be strong for my family. I then realized my hidden quality was strength and selflessness. I put their feelings before my own and now knowing the qualities I hold, I can help others on how to deal with death and their feelings. It wasn't just a one time thing, I can use this now forever.


The author's comments:
It's been a hard road to healing but I'm glad I can help anyone who needs it.

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