Neverland had nothing over my youthful perception of Harrisburg. It’s where my friends lived, where my family put down its roots. The daily street fights provided entertainment, the midnight shootings- fireworks. Red, hazy eyes only meant sorrow, crying. It went this way, my prettying up what looked ugly but surly- it couldn’t be that ugly…right?

Ninth grade is where it all started. The middle school years died as the “real deal” began. High school: the time of your life when you find yourself and discover what they heck you’re going to do with your life. Make a name for myself or just become someone’s baby-mamma? Before I even had my foot in the door, school had these questions running through my mind. Writing is my only passion. However, how many good writers have made a name for themselves in Harrisburg?

Entering high school I became aware of the negativity around me. Ten year olds draped in blue roamed the halls chanting “cuz”. At fifteen years old, while writing occupied my life others had become mothers. Guns replaced the lint and gum wrappers in sixteen year olds pockets. Popping pimples turned into “popping molly’s”. In a city so small it’s hard to miss these things around you, yet I had no clue. Maybe I tried to look on the brighter side, or maybe I just didn’t want it to be true.

One bright spring day my friend and I decided to take a walk. A group of hooded teens stood across the street seeming to be non-threatening. Slowly, another guy approaches rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. Little by little the hooded teens begin to gradually break part. Without hesitation a hooded teen pulls out a gun hidden in the waistband of his jeans and fired. Five continuous gunshots sprayed in the air. The gunshots I heard from my home could not compare to actually watching the gun spark and the bullet lodging into another human being.

We ran. People in their homes glanced out their windows. The shooter took off. The victim disappeared. No police. No ambulance. Just quiet for a bit then the whole world went back to normal.

It’s hard to stay away from the destruction of the city. I see girls I grew up with being persuaded into taking pills and letting boys control their bodies. Once innocent young boys now stand on the corner selling drugs for money to buy more drugs. By now I know where to get more drugs than most adults.

Writing keeps me away from it all. I fall into my imagination and escape from the ruckus of the city. I hope that one day my writing will lead me out of here.

So it’s safe to say growing up in Harrisburg is not an easy thing. However, there’s always a bit of light in the pit of the darkness. Here, I've made friends that I have kept since my childhood and learned what I did and did not want out of life. Harrisburg taught me the world can be cruel and loving at the same time. More than anything, Harrisburg taught me how to grow up.