Everyone says that love hurts like hell, well I'm here to tell you that it hurts a whole lot more. I loved this guy, what seems like forever. We were best friends, and he was the only person I could talk to at the time. At that time, I was being threatened by my ex, who needs help by the way. He made me smile when i basically wanted to end my life. I know this sounds "dramatic", but what you must understand about me is that I'm a very unhappy person. He was there for me. We finally dated. He was finally mine. We dated for 11 months, and it was the most happiest time of my life. I lost him to another girl who was prettier and older. He was the one I was convinced I was gonna marry. I know it sounds "cliche'" but I loved him with all my heart. I cried for days, then I wouldn't eat, sleep, move, talk, or anything that reminded me of him. I had my thoughts to myself. I thought about ending it all. My life, my thoughts, my relationships, and my existence. My heart is broken and no one will be ever to fix it.

If he ever ask me back out, I won't except it. I know now that we broke up for a reason. Him being happy was that reason. So if he ever reads this I want to say ...

" Gavin, I'm so sorry that I made you unhappy. I'm sorry for all the fighting and the late nights. I'm sorry for all the tears that fell from my eyes. I love you Gavin and though we will never get back together or be mine again, you always mean something to me. You were the best thing I had. But, all great things come to an end. I love you."

Sorry but I had to get the word out there. Instead of dying an old woman, I'll die an old woman with a hole in her chest. God have mercy on my soul. Be grateful for the ones you love.