It’s funny how childhood crushes can transition into heated relationships in the blink of an eye. We all have that one person we’d do anything for. Do anything to please. Do anything they wanted, just for a chance - an involuntary urge to just be close to them. For me, that was Jesse. God. He was a dime.

When I was about 5 years old, I met said boy. He was a little chunker. Adorable. He had a bona fide boy from the wilderness look going on. He wore worn out tennis shoes, hole-ridden Levis, and seemed to have an unlimited amount of orange t-shirts. He reminded me a lot of a puppy – not yet grown into himself. A boyish grin was always smeared across the bottom half of his face, and startling green eyes were perfectly placed above his perpetually pink cheeks. In the summer, he gleaned the most adorable freckles from the sun. His hair was long and curly, literally the color of hot cocoa.

I moved into a big green house that my daddy built when I was 11; his house was just across the woods. I could run through the branches and be at his house in minutes. When I first moved in, he would put firecrackers in frogs and throw them in the air, letting them reach their inevitable death at maximum peak. My brother was friends with him, so I got a taste of who he really was. Which was damn near perfect, despite his violence towards our little fly-eating friends.

Ping-Pong was our favorite thing to do, my brother, Jesse, and I. We were all so close, because the other girls on the street were older and in their hormonal stage. When we got sick of Ping-Pong, we would get out the fake guns and have wars. Jesse always picked me for his team. We worked well together, and even his mother noticed. She even went as far as to tell me she could see Jesse and I getting married someday. I squirmed and pretended to be antagonistic towards the thought, but secretly, it crossed my mind whenever I saw him. What a crazy thought for a 13 year old, right?

A few years later, we were in a separate playing field – he was in high school then while I was stuck in middle school. He was a couple years older, which was the reason I had always shied away from sharing my fantasies with him. He was my ‘never act on’ crush. And I did just that – never acted on.

When I was a freshman, and still unable to drive motor vehicles, he would wait at my bus stop and bring me home. He was such a doll. In that half-mile drive, we were mesmerized by each other. I was smitten. He played my favorite music; he talked about my favorite movies; he even liked the same food.

He started dating this girl from his school. She was seriously so perfect. Long red hair, freckles, stick-thin. I never bothered to learn her name, because by that time, I had started dating a boy from my own school. To say the least, my relationship didn’t last, but Jesse’s did. Occasionally, I caught him waiting for me at the bus stop. One day he even told me I looked cute. He never said cute things like that. I smugly took his compliments.

He started baseball season, which took up every spare moment. He was really good too, so it’s not like I could blame him. I had my license by this time; I was never home to see him anyways. Months went by without seeing each other. I sort of forgot how much he had meant to me, so when he texted me out of nowhere, I was curious. It was a blizzard outside, and well below freezing when he summoned me.
“Hey, Haley? Do you want to come over? My parents aren’t home, and we
could watch movies downstairs.”


“Hey stranger. I’m just getting out of the shower though.”


“That’s ok! Just put some PJs on, just come here.”


I was intrigued.



“Okay, I’ll be there soon.”


I put on some sweatpants and scurried over, very confused, but very thrilled. I had no guesses as to what was going on, but that was okay. At least we were going to catch up.

After trudging through a couple feet of snow, I finally made it to his basement slider. It was so dark out, and so cold. I walked up, and he slid the door open. Before I knew it, he was hugging me. He was so warm, I felt like I was melting being so close to him. He towered over me. Those few months of absence did wonders for his stature. He was rugged. I never noticed how provocative the stubble on his face was. His jaw was so abrupt, perfectly sculpted. As I pulled away, my hands slid over his arms. They were solid and hot. My hands fell into his. He had grown so much; his hands were like bear paws – callused and warm. I’ve never thought of him in the way I did at that moment.

He was a man now. I could barely contain myself from the thoughts that flooded in. I felt like I was in that moment for hours. A few seconds passed and he led me over to the couch. He was watching Jersey Shore. I had never watched that show, so I sat down to give it a whirl. Not even two minutes in, and I was overwhelmed by the fakeness that it inhibited. It was god-awful.

I think he could tell what I was thinking, because he shifted so I could talk to him. He put his hand on my knees, wrapping his fingers around my legs, and lifting them over his lap. His hands moved to my waist. He pulled me onto his lap. Lacing his arms around me, he kissed my temple. He nudged his face into my hair, which was finally drying. He stayed there for a moment, smelling my coconut shampoo.

“You smell good.” He pretty much purred in my ear.

“So do you.” And he did. American Eagle. I could smell it from a mile away. My mouth watered just thinking about the inviting aroma. I started trembling – nervous. Anxious. Fidgety. Ready.

I waited.

Nothing.

I shifted towards the television, feeling numb, still ridiculously unsure about the whole situation. That’s when it happened. His hand drifted up my arm, to my neck, my jaw, my cheek, my hair. Tipping my head back, he brought his lips to mine. It was a quick little peck. Pulling away, and laughing at my blushing face, he brought his arm to my back. He pulled me under him, sandwiching me to the couch. He once again let his lips find mine, only this time for longer. The weight of his body was overpowering. I let him push me deeper into the couch. Hands on my waist, he continued to overwhelm me. Absentmindedly, my hands moved up, tangling in his hair, which was now short and mature-looking. Boy from the wilderness was no more.

The energy transferring from him to me was like fire. Our bodies were sweltering. Despite the cold behind the slider door, we were blissful and smoldering. My thoughts were clouded by his hand running up my back, the heat from his hand leaving a trail of tingles. The warmth from his lips, again, seizing my scrutiny and leaving me breathless. Being so wrapped up in each other, no one would have known we hadn’t seen each other in so long.

He sat up, bringing me again onto his lap. He didn’t stop kissing me; he just became more confident in what was happening. He gingerly fixed his hands on my hips, bringing me back to reality. I pulled away.

“What ever happened to your model of a girlfriend?” I hadn’t heard of a break-up, so I was just making sure I wasn’t a home-wrecker.

“She’s out with her friends.” He tried to pull me closer, but I kept my ground.

“You’re still together?” I tried to hide my soon-to-be-anger.

“Yea.”

I got up so fast; I had a head-rush and almost had to sit down. What the heck. I grabbed my boots and went for the door. He beat me there, blocking my escape.

“What are you doing?” His eyes were big, like a puppy who didn’t know what he had done wrong.

“Really? You expect me to stay here and let you cheat on your girlfriend? I don’t like cheaters.” Was he crazy?

He let me out, but he followed me to the edge of the woods. He tried to give me a hug, but I pushed him out of the way. Grabbing for my hand, he tried to apologize. I crossed my arms and looked at him like he was the devil. Reluctantly, I forgave him. I told him that if he ever wanted to cheat on his girlfriend again, not to count on me to do his dirty work. He nodded, finally understanding.

I’ve seen him a couple of times since then, and it’s not even awkward. We never talked about it, but when I do see him, he stares. It’s funny how something so innocent can turn into something so wrong. He’s still ruggedly handsome, and he still has the same girl. I guess she never found out. At least he’s got that going for him. I wonder if he has cheated on her since. Good thing I never got caught up in that, he would have broken my heart right in half. Everything happens for a reason, right?