One day in middle school my teacher asked my class the question “What is something you’ve learned or heard that was maybe hard to hear, or hard to believe?” The answer was perfectly clear in my head. I thought straight to my brother. No one ever really told me with exact words. My brother was struggling with a drug and alcohol addiction. I was young when I found out. I knew, just didn’t understand. It began too truthful when my family took me out of school to take me to visit my brother in treatment. I never wanted to believe it, how could my cheery, goofy, golf loving brother make those choices and have something like that happen to him?

I didn’t understand how serious it was until about three years ago. I never knew it was drugs, but I did know something was messed up in my brother. A Saturday morning, when I was in sixth grade sticks out in my mind. My parents weren’t home, and only my brother and I were there. I was downstairs when suddenly I heard a huge crash. I went up stairs and saw that my brother had gotten so angry he punched the wall. I wanted to ask him what happened, to ask why he was so mad. But he stormed out into the garage with tears in his eyes. I peaked out the door and saw that my brother had a beer in his hand, and a few others icing the hand that he punched the wall with. Confusion went through me: my brother was eighteen, he was not twenty one, and he was not legal to drink. I was so scared that I ran down back to my room because I didn’t know what he was going to do.

My brother was a drug addict and alcoholic, and all of it was falling out at his ages of eighteen, nineteen, and twenty. He was living at home and doing nothing with his life. He was always out all night and slept until I got home from school. I always would come home to scary looking boys in my living room, which he called his “friends.” All of my big brothers behaviors changed, I barely saw him and when I did, he wasn’t the same brother that I knew. He was always mad or angry at someone, trying to pick a fight with anyone over the smallest little things. I became so afraid of the person he had become. I never invited friends over because I never knew what drama we would walk into. I didn’t know why my brother was no longer the happy guy that he used to be. The biggest difference I saw was he was so sad, so disappointed in himself. Golf was his favorite sport to play, and he would barely even pick up a club. Golfing wasn’t ever a priority anymore; he always had something more important to do. Those were the things I noticed, I knew something was wrong but I didn’t want to admit it. If anyone told me my brother had a problem with drugs, I would had never believed them, and I would never want to believe them. My parents definitely knew something was wrong because they decided they needed to get him help.

We got my brother into so many programs to get help. The first one he went to was called Hazelton. It had a sibling and parents program, where families of the patients would go and the workers would help them cope with the realizations of a family member being an addict. My parents decided my family should try out this program. That’s how I found out everything about his addiction. I stopped trying to believe there was nothing wrong with my big brother, but we could help him. The workers at Hazelton taught me everything about drugs, alcohol, and helping my brother stay sober. They told me that alcoholism is a disease, and that my brother didn’t choose his addiction. I was always so mad at him; I thought it was his fault, that he must have wanted this. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, and me thinking that addiction is anyone’s choice, is one of my biggest regrets. One worker told me that addiction is like a dragon, and when you give it what it wants, it just needs more and more. But if you stop feeding it, it will stop needing to be fed. And with time, it will get easier to be sober. It’s not anyone’s fault, because it’s a disease.

He went to a few other treatment centers after Hazelton. Everything was getting better with my family and most importantly my brother was getting healthy again. But then he relapsed. That means he fell back into his addiction. He had to start all over again to get back to where he was before. Almost a year went by with my brother in and out of treatment centers all over the United States. Trying to find one place to stick was really hard, until my parents chose Minnesota Teen Challenge. Teen Challenge is a program that focuses on god, family, and staying sober. If I could take back all of the other centers he went through, I would. Teen Challenge saved him, and without it I don’t know where my family would be. I am so thankful for that place.

After my brother completed the thirteen month program at Teen Challenge, I felt my family was one piece again! I had my brother back, and I could recognize the guy he was. He was no longer that scary, angry-at-everyone guy anymore. He was a guy that overcame addiction, and that is really difficult thing to do. Most importantly he was the guy who loves his little sisters, the guy who would do anything for his family. I think he was always that guy, but drugs and alcohol kept him from showing it. It still is sometimes scary to think about, that all of those things have happened to my brother and my family. Some nights I worry about him, that he might relapse. But my brother is strong, and I hope he won’t ever make that mistake. I think my family and I will always have that little bit of worry in the back of our minds, but we just need to remember that my brother is happy and healthy and that is what’s important.

Now my brother goes to college and is getting his life back together. He is 2 and ½ years sober and I can’t be anymore proud to be called his sister. He still can be a pain, but he is the best big brother I could have asked for. Through all of this stuff, I realized family is one of the most important things in life, because without it, who knows where my brother would be right now? After my brothers long journey to sobriety my family is finally back together.