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My Friend, Schizophrenia
I was diagnosed at age sixteen. The disorder: schizophrenia. It's a mental disorder that messes up thoughts, emotions, and personality. It's messed up my mind, my grades, and now, it's the friend that'll never go away.
I considered my life to be normal. I ate healthy, walked home from school, did my homework and got good grades. I was an A+ student, always on the honor roll. I had a boyfriend and good friends. I loved my life.
Until my sophomore year of high school, things started to change. I couldn't focus. My grades went down. I lost a 3.4 gpa to a 2.6. I was failing my classes.
In the summer, I was taken to a doctor to see what was wrong. I told him my problems and he listened. Eventually, he said it. "You might have schizophrenia." Early schizophrenia. I was now a schizophrenic.
My symptoms were growing but luckily for me, I was able to catch them before I got lost in my mind.I would hear voices coming from inanimate objects. I would smell old smells from my childhood. I lost interest in everything I once loved. My thoughts had become too disorganized to focus. I lost my emotions and found myself feeling absolutely nothing. I stopped being myself.
The doc put me on the medication olanzapine. It would help but at the same time give me the risk of developing lung cancer, diabetes, heart failure, obesity and much more. Even so, I said I wanted to be normal. I took the risk. And now, I'm becoming myself again.
I’m back on the honor roll and getting great grades. I love my hobbies and my friends again. I can focus and I don't hallucinate. Even though I'm healing, schizophrenia will always be apart of me. It's my new friend that will never go away.
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