When I was in elementary school I was a bully.
It started in kindergarten:
I broke lots of rules, mostly because I never knew any better; being an only child I had no social skills. One time a girl was making noises at me. I had turned around and punched her in the face.
The only person who cared was her.
First grade:  3 boys had been making fun of me; I was really weird back then having a big imagination.
“Kitty kitty” they said laughing.
I swung my hand up to hit them but they had backed away, and in a blur I had hit a girl in the back, she had got up a told the teacher, they sent me to the principal’s office. By the time I got their I was hyperventilating because I had been crying so hard, they ended up taking me to the nurse’s office instead to calm me down.
Second grade:  I have been told I slapped a girl, but I don’t remember.
Third grade: I was in music class, my teacher was boring and I hated her, she was talking and I was playing a game.
I would swing my recorder at a kids head and pull up as soon as my swing would get too close. On accident I had hit a kid on the head.
I was in shock; I couldn’t believe I had hit him in the head!
I pleaded the music teacher not to tell my teacher, she did anyway.
I cried and cried, and I was soon hyperventilating. They sat me down next to him. I told him I was sorry, and he accepted the apology with no hard feelings.
I then pleaded the nurse not to tell my parents thinking of the spankings I might get.
She told them anyway.
My dad laughed on the way home from school. My mom also laughed when she got home.
I also had a crush on a boy in third grade, my friend had said she had too (she had been lying just for attention) but he seemed to like her. I was officially heartbroken I told her I didn’t want to be her friend anymore, and then her heart broke too.  We eventually became friends again, and we never really found out if he liked her or not.
Fourth grade: I kicked a boy that year. I never remembered doing that but many people told me. That year I was a nightmare. I was mean and depressed; I took out my anger on everything in a 5 mile radius.
I was a smart Alek. I was depressed and angry about how I wasn’t very smart and I couldn’t figure out math problems. I took it out on myself. I would have breakdowns in the middle of class.
I was jealous of all the girls, because they were prettier than me and all the boys liked them. I took this out on my crush. This wasn’t my crush from third grade though, this one was new. I would scream and scream and scream at him.
I was sad because my friends never understood what I was feeling and how horrible it was for me.
I never realized the things that I had in that class. A supporting teacher, good classmates (kind of) and friends, even if they never understood.
Fifth grade: I had flattened out by then.
Sixth grade: I wasn’t the bully that year. The boy I had kicked in fourth grade was.
He would tell me I was ugly, he explained how ugly I was too.
I would also get slight remarks from my friends like “your too skinny eat a burrito” and stuff like that.
I grew depressed, the boy got to me, and also the fact was that I had been called ugly since kindergarten. It is drilled into my brain, I will never be pretty.
I liked more than 5 boys that year. None of them liked me back. And I knew it. One of them I liked for 5 months, throughout the summer than as the school year began I didn’t like him anymore, we became friends.
I am unwanted by boys and too skinny to girls.
I will be heartbroken forever.
Seventh grade:  still heartbroken.
Diagnosed with anxiety.
Have friends, but still problems break through.
It is an endless cycle, slight happiness, friendship, than problems break through the ice little by little.