Nothing but despondent change.  My life changed just like the snap of the fingers.  Everything that day happened very quickly.  I didn’t expect my everything to change at all.  My parents had been married for a cheerful fourteen years, and it all seemed like nothing eventually.  A little over a year ago, I was just waking up in the big, fluffy bed at my grandparents’.  I knew my mom wanted to pick me up in the morning, but something didn’t seem right by her dreary, red face.  My siblings came along, seeming fine by the way they bounded up to the wooden chairs in the open spaced kitchen.  My mom just stood uncomfortably in the dark doorway asking for my grandpa to “go look at a car.”  I knew something was wrong right then and there.  I dismissed the sad thought and continued to look out the window. It was a beautiful day.  The blue sky was shining, and the sun was out which had caused a majority of the snow to melt. The little lively black birds flew after each other playing tag. 

My mom and Grandpa returned without any indication anything was wrong.  He walked happily in his house offering us big hugs.  My mom said, “I have to return home.” Insisting to go with her, I said, “I want to go.”  We pulled out of the housing development and made our way down the curvy road to my house.  That’s when I found out.   She told me, “Your dad and I aren’t getting along.”   She assured me they weren’t yelling or being disrespectful towards each other, but getting along was harder for them.  As we walked through my front door, I tried my best to keep my tear-stained face down as I sat on our big red couch.  My mom walked back to her bedroom to talk to my dad.  I couldn’t hear anything, but I knew they were crying.  I nervously sat impaired in the living room.   When they were done talking, my mom said nothing nor did my father. We went back to my grandparents’ to get my siblings, and then returned home.  They knew nothing about what was going on.
We all four walked through the door seeming happy and contented. We packed clothes for my grandparents’ house because we had to stay there for a couple days.  My dad came out of the bedroom, seeming out of sorts.  He walked slowly, and when we were leaving, I don’t think I’ve ever received a hug that tight.  He gave each of us a hug, and when we wrapped our arms around each other, I could feel his breathing as if he were crying.  His arms wrapped around me tight, and I knew. I won’t ever forget that feeling. 

About two weeks later, mid- January, and my sister had been invited to her friend’s house to stay the night. My parents, my siblings, and I drove her there, and it was already pitch black outside with the dark heavy clouds covering the stars. After we dropped her off at her friend’s, we drove towards town.  I just stared out my window, watching the bright car lights fly by as we drove on the rainy night.  I glanced towards the console, my parents were holding hands.  I smiled.  I was wrong. So very wrong.  I heard sniffling, and they just said how much they love my siblings and me.  With the deafening words, they said, “We are getting divorced.”  My heart sank.  Speechless, slowly suffocating the sob back, I stared out my small window yet again only feeling stunned and shocked. I felt helpless, incapable of doing anything.  I felt like the world was caving in and smothering me.  I’m okay, I said to myself.  That night we ate it complete silence.  We drove home in the darkness of the rainy night feeling destroyed. 

That night still haunts me.  My dad moved into his roomy apartment with we three kids to live with him.  It’s a nice modern apartment, but there are only two bedrooms.  Going through with everything made me depressed.  I still am depressed, and it still haunts me.  Some days are better than others, but I’m okay.  I’m okay.