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Unwanted Blessing
There’s a quote in my aunt’s house that reads: “Aunts are a blessing.” I gave this to my aunt for her birthday not knowing what it meant, but knowing it would make her happy. Five years ago, I got the news that my sister was going to have a baby. I was in fifth grade and in that moment my mind flooded with a million different images of swinging in the backyard and buying outfits with sayings like, “I love my aunt.” As the pregnancy progressed we found out it was a girl. This didn’t come as a surprise due to the fact there wasn’t any boy cousins on either side of my family.
One day, we decided to travel to Nashville to shop for my birthday. My very pregnant sister decided to tag along. The car ride up there consisted of my sister complaining of her body aching and stopping every thirty minutes for her to get sick. When we finally arrived, my mom took my sister to the maternity store where we spent the majority of the day only resulting in an early trip home because she began to feel poorly. This experience sparked an anger towards the baby girl. Not only had the attention of my mom been shifted, but the attention of my entire family.
I was the youngest cousin and I was always the center of the conversation. At reunions, everyone asked how I was doing; now everyone wondered how my sister was feeling. I tried everything to gain someone’s attention. Whether it was bragging about a test grade or talking about my game-winning shot- I was trying my hardest.
My grandma noticed my change and sat down with me. “Mattie, even if you’re not the center of attention all the time, you’re still going to be treated the exact same.” At the time I didn’t care what she said, this baby was ruining my life and she wasn’t even born yet.
The day had finally came. My niece was coming into the world on a rainy October Tuesday. I got out of school the entire day so that made it a little less horrible. My whole morning was spent in a waiting room filled with cheap furniture, loud vending machines, and the scent of mothballs clogging my nose. My dad called me back to the room after two hours of waiting. My hands were shaking and my palms were sweating. I walked into the room and my eyes were drawn to a small ball of pink in my sister’s arms. I sat in the chair next to the bed and was handed the small baby. I cradled her tiny hand and her fingers wrapped around my index finger. I looked at her sleepy face and all thoughts of stealing my spotlight evaporated and I fell in love with my niece.
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