“A smile abroad is a scowl at home.” A quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson caught my attention.

A memory from the past flashed on my brain. But, did it really happen before or do I still experience it today? The question rang on my mind; for an instance I felt the pain again. Probably, because I can’t move on from my tragic past. Yes, it is just a plain memory, a history that will soon be forgotten; nevertheless, history repeats itself. The events of today are the product of the deeds that you did before. Some are fruits of the mistakes that you’ve committed and now, it is hunting you.

Nonetheless, you must not let it conquer you. You have to face it and even if it is hard, fight it. Pain is one of my weakest points; but at the end of the day it turns out that pain is the reason why I am strong. Strong enough to realize that sadness is bliss and tears are happiness. It might sound ironic, but that is how I feel it. I smile because the pain is worth it. I cry because I need it.

Inside the chamber called house, I frown a lot. I lock myself inside my room and enjoy the moment of tears. When no one can see me, I cry a lot up to the extent that one will think I’m crazy. But when I am outside that vast chamber, I pick up my mask and pretend. Where there is a crowd, I smile. I fake a laugh and I act like I am alright. I guess that it’s how it goes. You smile outside when you’re dying inside.

It’s amazing how a smile can hide so many emotions. I smile not because I am happy. I smile because at the end of pain I know that a brighter day will come. Even if trouble chases me, I’ll always smile. Pain is my pleasure. Sadness is my bliss and crying is my happiness. I smile because I know it is worth it and I cry because I need it.