Listening to music quietly in the car, not really knowing where we were going until we pulled into a place nobody wanted to really be, the cemetary. When my mom exclaimed ,”Get out we're going to see your Aunt Jodi.“  My brother, only 4 at the time, winned like no other. He hated doing anything and everything; he didn't really understand what was going on, unlike me, who was bewildered by the fact that we were in a cemetery and my mom wanted to go see my aunt. My brother and I were never told what happened and that’s what really threw me off.  When I asked my mom why we were meeting our aunt at the cemetery she started crying and that’s when I knew we weren't meeting her. . .
Only 6 at the time this hit hard, because I’d never experienced something like this. It was like time stopped. I didn’t know what to think. I never understood why it was so difficult for my mother and grandma on August 9th. But it all made sense now. It was too much to take in all at once though. I never even knew that I had an aunt, but it’s crazy to think you miss someone a lot even though you’ve never even met.

At this point we were walking. The little amount we had to walk felt like we were going from Michigan to California. Only being 6 you should have been full of excitement and energy. But this completely drained me. By this time my brothers winning was zoned out by my thoughts. It was so hard to comprehend. We were walking toward her grave now, to explain how it felt at that time would be a total under exaggeration. Never getting to meet her was probably the hardest of all the reasons to be sad about. Sure she passed away so young, and would never be able to go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, and have all the fun times that every other person got to have, but it wasn’t that what bugged me. At this point my 6 year old self had no idea how or why she wasn't here anymore, but that’s not what to be worried about . My mind was just filled with questions. How did this happen? What happened to her? All the questions that came in my head were something no 6 year old should have to think of. Even though she wasn't close to me; and that my brother and I never even got the chance to meet her, this still hit home pretty hard. We were almost to her grave, being so overridden by thoughts, you would have not been able to know how to react either. All my emotions were jumbled.

We walked up to her grave. I smelt the flowers and the freshly cut grass, the bees still buzzed but the happiness between our family was lost. We just sat there. Under my mother’s breath she was whispering to herself, as if Jodi was right next to her. But no, my aunt was 6 feet under from where we were standing. I could hear my mom, quietly, she kept repeating the same words, “Jodi, Jodi, Jodi, I miss you.”
“How am I supposed to react to that?” I had thought to myself. “My own mother is talking to someone who used to be her best friend but isn't even here. Being only 6 was I expected to react calmly to this?  How was I supposed to know anything about how to react?” All these thoughts ran through my head, All these bewildering thoughts.
Then my mom acknowledged calmy, “get behind the flowers, I need to take a picture.”

After the picture, oh the picture, I treasure that thing still. I haven’t gotten a picture since because it bugs me so much just to think of her.
We were on our way back to the car, it felt like the walk was ten times longer than it actually was. It was as if time was still. My mom was the most odd, I had never seen her like this, she was so upset.
But she wasn't the only one upset. Being upset that I would never get to meet my aunt, that I had only known about for 30 minutes really threw off my day. It hit me harder than a nail going into a piece of wood.

Now I’m older than 6 and wiser. You have to learn to cherish everyone that may come in your life because they won't stay forever. Sometimes you will never get to meet the person you would want to the most. But it's part of life and you have to respect everyone. It’s so difficult to understand how you love someone so much even though you’ve never met them. We go there to see her all the time. We love it. It gives us the sense that we still care about her, and that going there should shows her as well. We still think about her, all the time.