We all have challenges in life. In fact, isn’t that why we all think we have the worst life ever? Doesn’t it take hearing someone passed away or someone had this happen to them to realize how blessed we truly are? It was on March 30th, 2014 that I thought I had the worst life on this planet we call Earth.

Sunday morning around six, Mom had just woken up to go help Dad in the barn. If you live on a farm you know part of the process of getting ready is to put on your boots. Mom was at that stage when she could no longer continue by herself. Just like every other parent, when you need help you ask your children. With my brother and dad being outside already, Mom gets me off the couch and tells me she is in too much pain to put on her own boots. I remember thinking, “How can someone not put on their own shoes?” However, when I got up to help, I realized quickly how weak she really was. Not only couldn’t she bend down to tie the shoe by herself, she couldn’t even push her foot into the shoe. After the morning milking, things seemed to be fairly normal with Mom occasionally stating just how bad her back hurt. My future sister-in-law at the time was over that afternoon. She has a degree in massage therapy and agreed to give mom a massage to help subside the pain. While she was giving the massage my mom inquired the question of, “Is it muscular or is it more?” Maria implied that maybe we should have her back looked at, but with it being Sunday the only place to go was urgent care in St. Marys. My sister, Kari, lives there so she volunteered to bring Mom while I stayed at her house with her husband and little girl. Kari’s husband, Kurt, had been receiving messages and told me that I should go to sleep because it was going to be a late night for Mom, Kari, and Dad in the ER. I fell asleep in their living room watching old episodes of Boy Meets World. Kurt woke me up around 11:45 p.m. telling me that everyone that was at the hospital was on their way back to the house with news.

Kari was the first to walk in and I asked her if it was bad. When she wouldn’t respond I knew at that very moment something serious was happening. I automatically asked, “Kari, it’s cancer isn’t it?” Mom had always said she was filled with cancer. In her kitchen, with white brick and gray walls and a table with four wooden chairs, as well as a high chair around it, I fell into her arms crying at the moment Mom and Dad walked in. Mom automatically stated, “Alli, I might have breast cancer that has moved to my bones.” We went home to a house full of my siblings and started making decisions about the cows, the farm, and the road that we had until we got a healthy parent back.

That next day Mom brought me to school so she could talk to Mr. Jutte, the guidance counselor, about the situation going on at home. When I got to my locker, the first person I saw was Rachel Bergman, my cousin. Like a bolt of lightning, I went from one location to another within seconds. I asked Ray Ray if I could tell her something important, and being the amazing cousin that she is she said of course. I told her everything and willed myself not to cry about the fact that my mom may be dying right in front of me.  Everything continued, because Wednesday Mom went down to the breast cancer center at Ohio State University (OSU) and we then learned she didn’t have breast or bone cancer but it might be this blood form instead. That same afternoon Mom had more tests ran and we were told that it was indeed a rare form of blood cancer known as multiple myeloma. Not only was Mom literally filled with cancer, it also took roughly ten years to find the cause of all the sicknesses, all the bone pain and so on and so forth. When Dr. Gerad in Celina said that she had this disease he sent Mom to the James Center down at OSU to get affiliated with Dr. Craig Hofmiester. When a few of my siblings, parents, and grandparents went there for the first time Hofmiester told them exactly what he wanted to happen in the next year. He put Mom on six or seven medications, he started her that week on IV chemotherapy, and after four to six rounds of chemo he said Mom would hopefully be getting prepared for a stem-cell transplant. In two weeks my mom went from just having aches and pains to having cancer, being on several medications, including chemo, and to being in so much pain.

One night Mom was sleeping in bed, Brian and Dad each on a couch, and I was sleeping on the floor. At 1:30 a.m. I was awoken by the sharp sound of a scream. I knew instantly who and why they were making that sound. I ran into the bedroom that belongs to my mom and dad to see Mom grimacing in pain. She had wanted to get up and walk around but couldn’t manage to get up by herself. It took the four of us a hour and a half to get her upright and out of bed. That same night I remember having to help her walk and go to the restroom because she couldn’t do everyday things by herself any longer. This continued for the next four months as she was taking her required medications and doing her chemotherapy.

August 12th Mom was admitted to the transplant unit in Columbus, Ohio so she could begin the tough month ahead of losing her hair, a boat load of nausea, and a great amount of blood work and vitals. She ended up being there for sixteen days. We brought her home and she instantly started throwing up and unable to eat without getting sick. She went back to Columbus for a check-up two days after being home. While there my family explained their concerns about how Mom had been feeling and the doctors and nurses said that she could either be admitted again that day or continue to try back home. Mom isn’t one to stay away from home and of course she said no more hospitals, let me go home. After being home for another two days or so, Mom couldn’t do it by herself anymore due to all the continuous pains she was encountering. Not only was she in pain, she hadn’t been able to keep anything down after coming home. After five days of pain management she came home with pain patches and medicines.

Today, Mom is doing much better, but she still has cancer. You hear about people saying the cancer is in remission, but that won’t ever be the case with my mom. Mom will more than likely be on some form of chemotherapy the rest of her life. The worst part now, according to Mom, is whenever you have the smallest pain or ache you wonder if the cancer has taken over yet again.

When you go places and hear everyone asking Mom how she is feeling, you wonder if anyone realizes just how hard it was for you. When you are put in a situation like that, you get overwhelmed quickly. I went from being a thirteen year old child to being a thirteen year old housewife, mother, sister, and daughter all at the same time. I was so use to the fact of having a mother there when I woke up and when I got home, that when I no longer had her there I was like a fish out of water. However, once you're in the role of a caretaker for so long you grow used to it and know what you’re doing is for the benefit of your family. I was under what felt like pressure and stress and that caused me to make very poor decisions that I willed myself that I would never make again. You get very depressed when you hear someone you love so very much is going to have the hardest road to recovery. It wasn’t until April or May that I realized how much of a struggle it was not only for Mom but for me. I opened up to mom and told her all of my mistakes and that’s when we decided it was time to get some outside help in the department of counseling. I have been going since and I finally overcame some of the major things in life that were setting me back, especially Mom’s pain in the butt cancer.

I learned a massive amount of things from this evil disease. First off, I finally understand why I need a strong faith in God. When something like this happens to your family you realize just how far God and faith could have gotten you. I not only learned how to strengthen my faith but my love. I had always told Mom I loved her but sometimes I did it just to keep her happy not because I knew just how much I loved my mom. I ask that you don’t wait for something like this to make you wish you had told your mom or dad or whoever you love them and truly mean it. You never know when someone could be ripped from your grasp just as quickly as they were put there. Lastly, I know we all think that as teenagers and kids we are inferior, but we couldn’t be more wrong. Anything could happen at anytime and I hope that we don’t take for granted how lucky we are. This brings me to the next thing, no matter the situation you are put in, there is always something to be thankful for. In a situation like mine, I was very grateful for my siblings, dad, and grandparents for without them it would’ve been even harder. I learned to love, have faith, be grateful. Therefore, in a very odd way, cancer has made me a stronger and more compassionate person.

“You’ll never be brave if you don’t get hurt. You’ll never learn if you don’t make mistakes. You’ll never be successful if you don’t encounter failure”- Anonymous. This quote and cancer made me see life will never be perfect, but you can always make the best of a situation even if you fall a few times in the process.  We all live by certain things. Some don’t believe in God and some don’t see that the bad times make the good times great.