I don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to get out of my own bubble. I feel safe and it’s easier than getting hurt. The times I have opened up my bubble I just seem to keep getting hurt. Most of the people couldn’t careless about my existence now. They’ve left and never have come back. The friends that have stayed don’t act like real friends at all. My mom says I need to get out of my bubble and go make some new friends, but the thing is that I’m scared. I seem to have only one real friend right now and she is moving off to college in a few months. I’m afraid she’s going to forget me just like everyone else has forgotten me. My best friend for three years moved away and now she has new people she calls best friends and never talks to me anymore. My mom always tells me that I can’t always be safe. My bubble keeps me from getting hurt over and over again. I get lonely sometimes I don’t have the close friends that I have a group chat with or hangout with very often I’m mostly the one who is ignored and lonely. People move away and they forget all about you. The people that do stay and  I hangout with everyday seem to forget about me also. Sometimes it’s like I don’t even exist anymore to people. I’m the quiet girl who during a big gathering will stand in a corner and not talk to anybody and drown in her own loneliness. Sometimes I think it’s time for a change, but then I try to go up to someone and I get too scared and my hands start shaking and I backdown from doing things that will get me new friends.

The girl that I am actually friends with she is the kind of person that can go up to some random person and start up a conversation. I think she will be the person to help bring me of my little bubble or maybe not. I am not a confident person and I am afraid to do many things, but if I am shy like this for the rest of my life I feel that I will miss out on a lot of opportunities in my life. One person, that doesn’t act like I don’t exist, turned around to me the other day and he told me “ Don’t let this place dull your spirit although it’s inevitable.” I’m not sure how the rest of my life is going to go or whether or not I will eventually get out of my bubble I have around me. I just hope that one day I will actually find a friend that actually stays.

The times I’ve tried to get out of my bubble were not successful. There was a new girl at my school and I tried to become friends with her. Being friends with her became too much for me and we stopped being friends. There was this guy back in 7th grade I had the biggest crush on him and he knew it. Our conversations always started out with him texting me and we would talk all day. There was a point to where we ended up facetiming for three hours. One day he just totally stopped talking to me and I gave up. Now we completely hate each other two years later. See once you get close to someone it’s very hard to let go. Sure he’s not the only reason that I hardly trust anyone when they say they won’t leave but he does play a big part in it.

My bubble is my comfort it keeps me from getting hurt but at the same time it hurts me all the time. I wish I had more friends and was more outgoing but I’m me and I don’t like meeting new people. Someday I hope that it will change and I get more friends and am more confident in who I am but for now I think I’ll just stay in my nice cozy bubble that keeps me safe.