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The Art of Saving
One thing I’m good at, above all other things, is saving. Your tears are rolling down your cheeks and you feel alone? Come to me. You might think that matters little, or that it isn’t an actual skill. But it is. Picture this this, if you would. I have a friend. She didn’t teach me the art of saving. I was the one who saved her. From herself. We were best friends, ever since we were babies. She had a tough life. A really tough one.
Her story is sad, I will admit that. Dad was out of the picture, her mother was a drunk. Her older brother sexually abused her as well as physically and mentally. She got into an abusive relationship two years ago. I hated the kid ever since I met him; never once thought they were good together. But anyways, do you know what it’s like to watch your friend fall apart? I don’t mean by crying. The light in her eyes faded and they went from beautiful blue ponds to bleak gray cemeteries. If there was any color, it was the red bloodshot eyes she had. She thought it wouldn’t hurt to turn to opiates. I warned her all the time. She didn’t listen to me.
Looking back she was beautiful. She was a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Then, her brain turned on her. She felt alone. She was snorting pill after pill after pill, turning down meal after meal after meal. To see your friend’s nose bleed out of nowhere, to see her frail, white, body, is something I wouldn’t wish on anybody. So, I did what had to be done.
“You need to stop,” I pleaded with her. She rolled her eyes and pretended she didn’t understand me. I grabbed her by her wrist and said,
“What’s happened to my soul mate? My only sister, not by blood but by heart? You’re killing yourself. Either you stop now, or I’m going to tell your mom everything. Everything. If she doesn’t do anything? I’m going to the cops.” Her face went even paler, if that was possible. She said she wouldn’t do it again. Surprisingly, she didn’t do it again. She stopped using. She stopped starving and purging. She stopped cutting herself. And after all the fits during the withdrawal, all the horrible things she said, the one thing I will always remember is what she said the other day.
“Don’t ever feel worthless or like you’re no good. Don’t ever be down on yourself. You saved my life.”
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