Who am I? I’m not exactly sure who I am. Actually, that's not true, I could tell you I’m a 5’ 3”, blue eyed, blonde haired girl with an attitude or at least that's how everybody sees me. Everyone thinks I have it all figured out, but trust me, I don’t. I’m still finding my way and deciding exactly who I want to be, while staying true to myself. Along the way I’ve learned that finding yourself is a rather difficult task.

The only thing I have figured out about myself is that, without a doubt, my one true passion is and forever will be horseback riding. If I’m being honest, the only reason I stuck with riding all these years is because it’s just me and the horse, nobody else. The team aspect just never appealed to me. Call me crazy, but I like not having to rely on a whole team of people or worry about letting others down. I like knowing that if I lose or score badly, I’m only letting myself down and that I’m the only one to blame. As selfish as this may sound, I like not having to worry about others holding me back.

Where do I fit in at school? That is still a work in progress. My best friend, Madison, graduated last year and is now going to FSU, which is a 7 hour car ride away. We shared everything, she was my go-to person that I could share anything with. I know she is just a text or phone call away, but it’s not the same as having her here in person. Not having her in my daily life is going to be hard. I have a tendency to just bottle everything up and tuck it deep inside, because I don’t feel the need to bother anyone with my problems. Madison was the one person I felt comfortable in confiding in and now that she’s not here, I don’t know what I am going to do. As for my other friends, I had to cut them out of my life at the end of last year, because they were getting into some serious trouble and I didn’t want any part of that. Right now a big part of finding myself, is also finding where I fit in at school.

My life at home is basically the same as in school. Sixteen years in and I’m still figuring out where I fit in my family. Don’t get me wrong, I have very loving parents and a younger brother who is a pain in my ass, but I’ve never felt like part of the family. We never seem to have the same perspective on things and it makes us butt heads a lot. It’s like I’m on a completely different planet than them and we keep drifting further apart. My parents are all about putting on the “perfect family” act for their friends, but behind closed doors we are anything but that. I love them to death, but at this point, no matter how hard I try, we'll never see eye to eye. If I can’t even find myself at home, how will I find myself anywhere else?

So, who am I? I truly don’t know. Putting the pieces of my life together, is like putting together a never ending jigsaw puzzle. I know eventually I will end up finding myself, but until then, I’m ready to ride the roller coaster called Life.