Many people in my life have had an influence on me, whether it was positive or negative. One person in particular who has had a positive influence  on me is my Aunt Rae. She is a perfect example of a strong, loving, nurturing woman. She has overcome many obstacles that made her who she is today. One of these obstacles is the death of her first born child, Jack. This has undoubtedly made her stronger as a person, and brought our whole family closer together. June 17, 2007 was a day that changed the family dynamic forever. Nothing was the same ever again. How could it be? On this tragic day I could never forget even if I tried, my cousin Jack passed away in his sleep. Jack was born sick and was physically hindered, confined to a wheelchair his whole life of 18 years. Even if he couldn’t talk or fully communicate with us, we felt his presence and knew he felt ours. His love was always apparent and growing, we could see it in his eyes. His bright blue eyes spoke their own language, as he could not speak actual words. One thing I always remembered is how he could not form sentences, so when he was upset or in distress he would wail out noncoherent jumbles of words. As a child, these cries for help scared me because I would assume he was in pain.  My father and his brother were extremely close, so we lived on the same street a few houses down. We would always have dinner at each other’s houses and me and my cousins were always together.

One day, as we were getting in the car to leave for school, we saw an ambulance drive by. There were also police cars and they were driving towards my Uncle’s house. My mother told us to get out of the car and wait inside. My father had not left for work yet.  A state of confusion and fear of the unknown ran through my body. Even though I was only six at the time, I knew something wasn’t right. A few minutes later, my father got a call. I will never forget it. My dad sunk to his knees and started to cry. I remember knowing at that exact moment how serious this was because I had never seen him so vulnerable before. My parents briefly left the room to go talk about the situation. They came back and said that we were going to my uncle’s house. I did not know what to think. I was scared, because I had no idea what to expect. I had never been near an ambulance before or around a group of policemen. I had a strong sense of anxiety and nerves. Once we got there, the ambulance was gone and my Aunt and Uncle were nowhere to be found. I thought that because the ambulance was gone, everything must be alright. After one look around the room, I soon realized that everything was not alright.  The rest of my family including my grandmother, cousin, Aunt Cynthia, and Uncle Bill were there. Jack’s younger siblings were also in the room. Jack was not here. Everyone’s eyes were puffy and red, and my younger self thought that this was odd. My grandmother informed us that my Aunt Rae and Uncle John went in the ambulance with Jack. He was being taken to the hospital, where they would try to resuscitate him. My cousin Sophie, who was very close to Jack, told us in between heartbreaking sobs that Jack stopped breathing in his sleep. It was then that everyone knew how serious this was, and that the chances of him pulling through were slim. I remember that we all were crying. There was not one dry eye In that house. Finally, we got a call from my uncle who called to tell us that Jack went to heaven. This was a tragic day that changed our family forever, and that I will never forget.

I look up to my Aunt Rae so much because when Jack was still here, she dedicated and devoted every day of her life to him. He was her life.  She would wake up early every morning and get him out of bed, feed him, and take care of him all throughout the day while her husband was at work. It never stopped for her, and she did not want it to, even on the worst days. Jack was her first born child, there was not anything she wouldn’t do for him. I remember as a child, going over to their house and just watching her. Taking care of him was almost just an instinct, she did it without putting thought into it and always kept her smile upon her face. When Jack passed away, she did not quit at anything. She did not quit being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt or friend. She knew she still had to be a strong mother for her three other children who lost their brother. Other people in this situation may have caved in to all of the sorrow and grief placed upon them. This time was incredibly hard for my aunt, he was her life. Everything she did was dedicated to him. When one day he was all of a sudden gone, it was a drastic life-change for her.

Fast forward to nine years later.  My aunt is still sad, of course but she has closure. She knows he is in a better place and that he is okay. As a family, we are much closer and we are always there for one another. I am inspired by her never faltering strength and her resilience through the obstacle course that is life. My Aunt Rae influences me to never stop even in the hardest of times imaginable. She shows me what can happen if you remain strong and work through pain that seems unfair and hard to understand.