Have you ever heard news that was so upsetting to you, you felt you were going to fall over? My dad just made a huge mistake and I had no idea what was going to happen next. All I could do was sit there and stare for a while. My jaw literally dropped, warm tears were dripping down the front of my face and I was trying to breathe but it was so hard to control my breaths. My mind was racing with a million thoughts like what's going to happen, how will I survive and how can I help, what should I say? I. stood there speechless which never ever has occurred to me once because I am a very talkative person but, I couldn't speak.

Before this all happened, I was selfish just like any human being. I wanted to spend time with my friends and my boyfriend and have fun. I love treating myself to get my nails done or change my style whether it's clothing or my hair. My mom always says Mariya you should choose your time more wisely and spend less money on things. I don't have to pay any bills, so why is there a need to budget? I love going out to eat at night and seeing the stars and the dark cloud cover the sky. I love the smell of all the different sweet and savory spices spread throughout the restaurant. As soon as I take the first bite out of that hot juicy burger, or spicy crunchy buffalo chicken sandwich, I know it was well worth it. I enjoy things that make me happy and stress less. I can do whatever I want when I want as long as my grades are up and everything is done that needs to get done. I had no idea how much my whole world would come crashing down and that would change. Little did I know, these tough times would show me how far I've grown, and how adult I am becoming through responsibility.

My mom said, "Mariya, I have to tell you something, it is about your dad. He got arrested last night for drunk driving. Pop - pop bailed him out but I have no idea what's going to happen. There were a million thoughts racing through my head I was trying to process it all. I screamed out sobbing into my mom's shoulder. I must have asked her a million questions and she went to bed and I was off to my boyfriend Corey's house. I was crying the whole way there and I needed to stop because I could barely see while driving. I was so angry and upset and as soon as I got there we talked in his room so no one else would see. All I could do was cry, he asked me a hundred questions about what's wrong but my heart was pacing and my pulse was racing so fast and loud. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably I just laid there in his arms, sobbing so much it was hard to breathe. Corey, I said my dad may be going to prison he held me close to his chest and told me it will all be ok. I couldn't help it I screamed at him saying it is not going to be and he could not possibly understand he was only trying to help but it made me so furious. How could he say something like that? How could anything be ok after this, my dad is my best friend and my hero. I will be so lost without him and the worst part is, I have no idea when he can be taken away from me.

So fast forward to now I have become more independent and reliable. I've had to make sacrifices like work more, while I am in school to help out financially. I help with all the groceries for my family and help with laundry detergent, tissues, toilet paper and more. I also have to be readily available to drive my dad where he needs to be and also take my little brother to his school in the morning. I also have to spend less time with my friends and my boyfriend, which is less time for myself. I have less time for relaxation and to watch tv, color or even listening to music. So, I have found myself getting physically stronger and emotionally stronger. I have realized that I am making more choices to help my family and am less focused on myself. I used to cry and cry until I couldn't cry anymore and it felt like I had to throw-up and my face was red and blotchy. I also have gotten better about my anger I take out all my aggression when I am working out in the gym dripping with sweat listening to my music pounding making me want to run faster and harder. Than my head feels clear and calm almost as though it is silent and I stop to here all the sounds of the water fountain, people trotting on the treadmill, people clanging the weights. I am finally at ease and my mind is clear. I feel I have dealt with this situation way better than I thought I would be doing by now.

Part of me is selfish and helping out to make myself feel better and to get recognition for doing well in school while working but the other part of me is not selfish. The non- selfish part of me thinks I need to do whatever I can to help my family so we do not fall apart without my dad. This challenge or obstacle has made me stronger and has taught me how to be more responsible, budgeting, sacrifices that are made for family and has humbled me. I feel like without this challenge it might have been a little harder or took me a little longer to mature and realize what things are important and what things are not.