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Beauty
Do you consider yourself beautiful?
Your beauty solely relies on the acceptance and opinions of others. When you go to take a picture, you first fix your hair, wipe your face off, just to make sure you don't embarrass yourself. You're worried that the camera will reveal all your imperfections that no one can see except yourself. When that picture is taken, and you are ready to upload it to the world of social media, you are secretly anxious that the people who see this picture will judge you. However, you want their approval, and you want their 50 comments telling you how pretty you look, because you don't realize it yourself.
Do you consider yourself beautiful?
You constantly tell yourself that you don't care about what people say to you. That you don't care about the rude comments that are shot at you like bullets. You just let it slide off your shoulder, like you do when you look at all those skinny girls on instagram. When you do, you think to yourself, I wish I was as beautiful as her. Yet, you tell yourself that you are not like the rest of those girls, who care about how they look towards others. You are not like those girls who are constantly on their phones. Who only dress pretty to impress others, not to impress themselves. However, you don't want to accept that you are like those other girls.
You are.
Do you consider yourself beautiful?
When you look in the mirror you see the extra hair growing above your upper lip. You see the way your eyebrows aren't perfectly straight, slowly getting shorter as they reach the ends of their shape. When you look, you see the tiny pimple growing on the left side of your check. You then think of the pain that will soon haunt you if you want to get rid of these imperfections. But first, you have to think to yourself if people will like the new look. Not if you like the new you.
Do you consider yourself beautiful?
When you wake up in the morning and get ready to put on clothes. You have to look at your day to see if you need to dress to impress someone, or if you can just be you today. You have to make sure that your day revolves around the thoughts of others. Like when you do certain activities, or if you are going to post certain things, you need to get approval by others first. You need to make sure you won't get embarrassed. You don't seem to care that you are all the approval that you need. You are enough.
You are.
Do you consider yourself beautiful?
When you are sitting in class and the group of poplars kids are talking. You need to get involved. You need to say a comment and make sure you get attention for that. You need to make sure that you fit in. That you are not the odd one out. That you are not different. Yet, when you go back to your seat, you tell yourself you are not like the other girls. But you are just like them.
You are.
Do you consider yourself beautiful?
You tell yourself you don't just say things for attention. That you don’t just dress to impress others. That you love your imperfections. That you only do certain things to make sure you are liked by others. That you fix those little spots of imperfections, just to fit in with the rest of the populars. But you are like the rest of them. You are just too afraid to realize it.
You realize what you are eating and think that you might gain weight. You are accidently eating one too many calories. So you put down the pleasure and strictly go on a diet, just to make sure you are skinny enough to be accepted by society. The next morning you look down at the weight scale and see the numbers are getting higher, when in reality, they are not. You then become afraid no one will like you because you gained a few extra pounds. You start thinking of all the limitations you will gain for not being ultra thin. You go to try on a bikini, but see that all the other girls are skinnier than you. So because of the limitations you think you gained from not being “skinny,” you can't wear a bikini because you don't have that perfectly flat beach body.
You are embarrassed of what people will think of you.
You are having an internal war. You are trying to love yourself, but the need to be accepted by others is winning the battle. There is one problem.
You don't realize you are skinny.
You don't realize that you are pretty.
You don't realize that you are loved.
You don't realize that you don’t need approval by others.
You can love yourself.
You don’t realize that your imperfections make up who you are.
You don’t realize that you are beautiful.
Just the way you are.
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Everyday when I look in the mirror, I have an internal battle with myself over beauty. I then come to realize that I do not need to be accepted by anyone but myself. I am on a journey to love myself just the way I am, and I am half way done with this adventure.