So you messed up. You had to take the long drive to the store trembling after hearing something you never wanted to hear, “I missed my period.” YOU ARE FREAKING OUT! You are wondering to yourself how the hell am I supposed to be a father? 

Well, it does not matter anymore because you are indeed going to be a father. You may not be ready and that is okay, you never will be. All you are hoping to hear at this point is the best news you can hear, “IT’S A BOY!”

Well good news, it is indeed a boy. A menace to be exact. You're looking at him after birth and you can tell that he is him. He’s an athlete. Potential first-team all-state. D1 bound. You can see it in his eyes. 

You realize you can’t miss this opportunity. You can tell God put him specifically in your hands for one reason. He is going to go to the NBA. You have to run to the store and get a basketball in his hand now. If you start training him now, he can be dunking by 3.

Now he is 3. He is not dunking. You feel like a disappointment. You’ve been training him for 3 years already and he still can’t dunk. He can barely hit the broad side of a barn when shooting. You must keep training!

Now he is 5. You are starting to see glimpses of greatness. Potential Michael Jordan comparisons. You see the GOAT inside of him. You must keep training!

Now he is 6. He is playing his first organized basketball. He is murdering the competition. He had 50 points this game. His handles were as smooth as Iverson, his shooting as good as Curry, and his mentality as killer as Kobe. You must keep training!

Your son requests Chick-fil-A after the game. Do you take him? Of course you do, he just had 50 damn points in his first game. You do whatever he wants. He has one special request though. Your son wants EXACTLY 50 nuggets. He does NOT want 49 or 51. He wants 50 and you know what, you are going to make that happen. But after that, you must keep training!

Your son is 9 now. He has been playing on a team on the Nike EYBL circuit for 2 years. You started recording his games 2 years ago too. You’ve already gained national traction on your kid. You got him on the news. The headline was “Child with Crazy Father…” I’m kidding. The headline was “Basketball Child Prodigy.” Your son is a prodigy now because of YOU. But, you can’t stop here, you must keep training!

Your son is in high school now. It is his freshman year and he is the starting point guard on the varsity team. He has been averaging 30 points per game. Good news, he can dunk now. I know it is a little late, it wasn’t at 3 like you wanted. Atleast he can finally do it.

Your son is a sophomore now. He is a 5-star recruit. He has interest from schools like Duke, North Carolina, Kansas, Baylor, UCLA, Arizona, and Gonzaga. He is already about to beat the scoring record at his high school. There are only two more years left. You must keep training. 

It is college decision day for your boy. He has narrowed it down to three. He is about to choose between Duke, North Carolina, and Kansas. You are hoping your son makes the right choice. You have been training him for years, surely he has to know that Coach K is the greatest coach in basketball history. His choice is in. He grabs the North Carolina hat. He throws it away and puts on the Duke hat. Your prayers to God worked. You worked so hard and now your dreams finally came true. I mean your son's dreams finally came true.

You are officially the greatest dad of all time. You are like the Lebron, Kobe, MJ, Larry Bird, and Anthony Bennett of dads. The greatest to ever do it.