This had been one of the best weekends of my life. It was the middle of a July afternoon, but we didn't feel the heat. Big, gargantuan smiles were stretched across each one of our exhausted faces as we walked off the soccer field, bumping into each other playfully. The sun was beaming down on our exposed, sunburned skin, but we were too overjoyed to even notice. By looking at my face, you couldn't tell I had just been though a harsh team break-up, and that I was playing with this team for the first time. I was guest playing with a Liverpool club team that had girls on it from my old recreational team two years prior ,and it was as if I had never left. All of us were bonding, and it was the perfect day. We had just won our semifinal game on a close 1-0 lead, but that didn't matter. We had made it through three back-to-back games in the hot July summer. As I laughed at one Liverpool girl's funny remark, I thought to myself, 'Could this day be any better?' Oh, little did I know.
After the game, everyone on the team bought matching tie-dye t-shirts from the tournament vendor. We then went back to our houses for a short two hour break, but we sure didn't lose our soccer cheer! Texts were going back and fourth from phone to phone about the upcoming game, and by the time our break was over, we had all sized up the competition.
Right after reaching the soccer fields for our last game of the day, we promptly started to warm up our legs again and talk about the upcoming game. We were ready, and we wanted this badly. The sun was just starting to lower into the trees that were dancing in the light breeze, the birds were chirping happily, and the temperature was starting to lower. It was perfect soccer playing conditions. After a quick pep talk and a team cheer, we were ready to go. As I walked on to the field in anticipation of wining the game, I thought, 'This is your time to show Coach what you got!'
The first five minutes went well. I had almost scored, and the ball was resting on their half of the field. I'm not going to lie, we all felt a little cocky. Before we knew it, the other team scored a goal. We had let our guard down, and standing their watching our keeper pull the ball from out of our net, I felt horrible. We never really recovered from the big slap in the face. By the end of the first half, it was 2-0. Everyone on the team was feeling pessimistic during half time. Little did I know, that was nothing to what was coming.
In the middle of the second half, my head was still down. The coach saw that I was dragging and took me off the field. Sitting there, I was mad at myself for not doing my best. I thought it was my fault the score was now a big 4-0. The coach called me off the bench and was about to put me back into the game. She asked me why I was so upset and I said something I will never, ever forget. I told her, totally not thinking what-so-ever, 'I'm just not used to losing this badly.' I felt guilt the instant I said it. The coach fell silent, and I couldn't think of anything to say. I thought to myself, 'Wow, you have really done it this time, so much for joining this team!' I left the game feeling horrible. My weekend had gone from perfect to horrible in a blink of an eye.
I told my parents about what I did later that night. I couldn't stop crying because I felt so bad. I told my parents that I wasn't thinking and that I was disappointed in myself and that when I said what I did, I didn't mean it at all. I emailed the Liverpool coach, Leslie, and asked her if I could talk to her after the next practice. My parents were disappointed in me, but told me the least I could do was give an explanation for my actions.
My palms were sweaty and chills were going up my spine. 'Is she going to forgive me?' I thought. I was surprised to see her not immediately kick me off the team that I hadn't even joined yet. What even surprised me more was that she did something similar in high school. She told me that she had lost confidence in me, but, she understood that I was just being hard on myself. Knowing that I was forgiven soothed my nerves.
I am now playing with this team and my coach gained her confidence back in me. I am glad coach Leslie forgave me, and I definitely learned my lesson to think before you act. I also learned that first impressions are really not always right!