Would you think of suicide after losing something important to you? It may seem over exaggerated, but it wasn’t for Ronda Rousey. The final kick of Holly Holm that knocked Ronda out was the reason for these thoughts on November 2015. She takes her fighting career very seriously, and this loss was what changed her life.

Ronda Rousey came out with her big secret of what was going through her mind after she lost her fight. She announced her secret on “The Ellen Show” with tears coming out her eyes. She says she wasn’t very comfortable with the topic of suicide because her father took his own life when she was a child. She explained on how it was a big impact in her life of not knowing what it feels like to grow up with a dad.

While explaining to Ellen on her thoughts, she said that the main reason she thought of suicide was because she thought people would see her as a different person, and not as the dominant athlete she was before her loss. She says it was a very depressing moment for her, but the thing that made her lose those thoughts was when she saw her boyfriend, Travis Browne, which is also a UFC fighter.

She says her depression started to calm down whenever she saw him standing next to her and she realized that she had much more time to live forward to. She started to realize that it didn’t matter if she lost her undefeated and UFC title, all that mattered to her at the moment was being together with Travis and have his children in the future. She also added that if it wasn’t for Travis, she wouldn’t be sure if she could’ve made it through her struggle and actually be sharing her secret to the world.

Later at the last moments of Ronda explaining her secret she says, "I really do believe I'm still undefeated because being defeated is a choice.” She thinks that though she did lose the fight, she wants to stay positive and keep going on with her life. She also decided to say, “I’m thinking of what my actual purpose is and maybe winning all the time isn’t what’s best for everybody.” She came to the conclusion that winning every time is not good for you but that you will end up losing at least once.