Homer awoke like he normally does, by struggling to get out of bed to begin his daily routine. At this point he sometimes considers adding getting out of bed to his routine. Anyway after ten minutes of attempts, he finally succeeds. It’s a Sunday at 9:47 AM. On any other day of the week he would be jogging around his house like a mad man, getting ready for his work at 10. Somehow he always manages to get to work on time, probably because he works as a janitor at the school that’s literally across the street. Anyway on Sunday instead of his household jog he takes his time. After getting out of his bed, the first thing he does is turn on his computer. He lets his computer start up while he gets dressed. He could care less about what he wears, so he just threw on a plain dark green T-shirt and a pair of light brown cargo shorts. He also put on a brown belt so his pants won’t fall down.
Now being fully dressed, Homer returned to his computer which has completed its daily start up. He used his morning computer time like every Sunday, by browsing the web looking for news and funny memes. Occasionally Homer will create a meme of his own to share with other meme lovers. He continued his web search until his stomach shouted a growl of hunger. That’s when he goes down stairs and enters his kitchen with the desire to fill his empty tummy. His kitchen was well organized, all frozen foods were safely stored within the fridge and everything else in the cabinets along the wall. Normally he has plenty of breakfast options to pick and chose from, but today he happens to be low in the food department. He only has a singular box of cereal left, so he ate that.
Homer enjoyed the cereal, but would have preferred something else like a breakfast sandwich or some pancakes or waffles. Maybe he would have enjoyed it more if he added milk, but he doesn’t like milk for some reason. Anyway at this point of the day Homer can do whatever he pleases, but realizing his lack of food he decided that it would be best to go to the store and obtain some more groceries. Quickly Homer went back upstairs and grabbed his grayish jacket from his coatrack in his room and put it on quickly, he put the zipper up because he thinks people that don’t do that are weird. While in his room, he logged off all his social media on his PC, and put it on sleep mode. As he left his room he grabbed his phone, his wallet, and his car keys.
Homer entered his car and rested his head back on the head rest. He still hadn’t fully woken up yet, but he know that he’s functional. He turned his car keys, and allowed his car to start up while he looked around him. The elementary school was asleep, obviously since it’s Sunday, and most schools are closed Sundays. Occasionally it’s open Sundays for some event. Homer dreads those days the most. Down his road lived his best friend, Rodney. They’ve known each other since middle school and have been friends ever since. Homer knows him well and knows that he’s probably still sleeping.
Homer drove off towards the supermarket. It was a quick trip because he knows all the shortcuts, so he arrived there in no time flat. Like most people do, Homer grabbed a cart as he walked in so he can carry his groceries easier. Beginning his search for good foods he went straight towards the snack aisle. He searched frantically for his favorite snack food, the box that has ten chocolate bars in it. It has a name but that's what Homer always calls it. Quickly he located it, as a grin appeared on his face. He grabbed it and threw it into a cart. Homer continues down the aisle and grabs a couple other snacks, like chips, and cookies, but the chocolate bars are his favorite.
Knowing where everything is located and knowing what he needs, Homer hurdled around the store and got everything he needs. A while ago he decided to memorize where everything was located within the store so he can go in and out quickly. Occasionally the store trolls him and changes the location of everything, but that doesn’t phase him. He simply finds everything again and puts it back where the food originally was. While waiting in line, Homer looked at the magazine rack. He sees some fancy house magazines and some about celebrities that he doesn’t care about. His eyes stopped moving and rested at a Sudoku puzzle magazine. Homer made a quick decision and threw it into his cart, just before his turn arrived to pay.
Now back at home, he began to put away his groceries. Just as he put away the chocolate box, he pulled it back out and opened it. He grabbed a chocolate bar quickly and tore off it’s wrapper, the he ate it quickly. The grin from earlier returned. He continued to put away groceries, forgetting to put back the chocolate box first. Once he finished with everything else he grabbed the chocolate box to put it in it’s rightful spot. But just as he began placing the box back, a piece of paper flew out from inside it.
Once again he put the box down, and replaced the emptiness in his hands with a piece of paper. Before uncrumbling it, Homer looked at it with a puzzled look. “There’s never any paper inside it.” Homer thought a loud. Plus he also realized that it hasn’t been opened before he tore it opened. Finally Homer unveiled this mysterious paper to himself. It was a map to a place Homer hadn’t heard of before. It lead to Ascension Island, an island somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. After reading some more, Homer learned that a great treasure of a lifetime supply of chocolate bars lived on this island. He would never have to travel to the store again to get them. Reading some more he realized that it was simple to get this treasure, all he had to do was go to the island and enter a ruin. Then he has to explore around a bit until he finds the center. Once he finds the center then a bunch of chocolate bars will be waiting there for him when he gets there.
Homer jogged through the paper some more, before finally moving again. He stood up and moved towards his room, but turned around quickly when he remembered that he didn’t put away the chocolate bars. He put them away finally and walked up towards his room. Along the way he almost tripped a couple times, but he caught himself. The thought of all the chocolate bars in the world continued to jog through him. He jumped on his bed and thought to himself about this. But after some short thinking he decided to begin to speak out loud because he’s alone and no one can hear him anyway.
“Alright this is ridiculous, there’s no way this could be real or could it? Plus even if it isn’t then I at least get a good excuse to leave work for a week. But I’m not gonna waste all that time just for a chance for unlimited chocolate bars.”
Homer made up his mind. He wouldn’t go to Ascension Island just for a chance of a lifetime supply of chocolate bars. He put away the once crumpled paper into a cabinet near his bed. Then he went back onto his computer and logged onto all his social media. He didn’t check to see who was online, instead he just went on social media and looked at all the news that spawned since this morning. But he got bored quickly, mainly because there’s not a lot of new news in two hours, and you can’t speed up history. So after he read all the news that there wasn’t a lot of, he leaned back on his chair. Laying there peacefully for a couple minutes, until the sound of a message came from his headset and into his ears.
It was from his best bud Rodney. He said “Hey”
Homer unleaned from his chair and went to his keyboard to respond with “Hey man”
Homer decided not to relean, because he noticed that Rodney was already typing up another message. Homer said “goodbye comfort” and then giggled a little bit.
Message received “wanna go bowling?” Rodney asked.
Homer began thinking for a couple seconds, but his decision was quick, Homer typed yes on his keyboard.
Rodney responded “Okay cool, what time?”
Homer looked at the time it was 12:47, so he figured that 2:00 would be a good time, he sent the message “2:00?”
Rodney responded quickly with a “Yea sure” and then quickly added to the message “See you soon.”
The drive from Homer's house to the bowling alley was a half an hour drive. So he figured that it would be best to leave at 1:15. In the remainder of his time, he browsed the internet a little more, and continued to read his book. 1:15 arrived quickly. But Homer got to his car quicker and began driving off, not before grabbing another chocolate bar before exiting the door.
While driving Homer remembered that slip of paper that he found in the chocolate box. Once again he dreamed off unlimited chocolate bars, but laughed it off as he remembered how bogus it was. The car radio turned on, when Homer's hand connected with the on button. He played his favorite tunes and jammed out all the way to the bowling alley. Homer opened his car door and exited his seat. Homer sees Rodney’s black car, near the back of the parking lot. Looking closer a few dents are seeable on the back of the car, under the trunk. Looking even closer, Homer can see some nifty knickknacks in his car, but he can’t make out what each and everyone of them were.
After admiring his best friend’s car, Homer finally walked inside the bowling alley. Immediately he looked for Rodney, but he was nowhere in sight. Figuring he must of screwed up and mistaken Rodney’s car for someone else's, Homer began his walk to the arcade, to wait there until Rodney would appear. The bowling alley was almost a ghost town, with only three lanes in use and four workers, one person to run the reception desk, one to run the snack stand, and two to run maintenance and do other odd jobs. None of the bowlers were Rodney which made Homer confirm that he was correct.
As Homer walked closer to the arcade, he happened to walk past the bathroom. As he did a flush could be heard and the sound of the sink starting. After a couple more steps Homer heard his name come from where he once stood.
“Homer.”
Homer turned around quickly and there’s Rodney standing towards him in front of the bathroom. Currently Rodney wears brownish shoes, a pair of blue jeans, a red shirt with a gray jacket to cover him.
“Hey dude” Homer said as he walked towards him. “I didn’t think you were here, so I was gonna wait over by the arcade.”
“Oh, I was in the bathroom.”
“I’ve noticed”
“Alright let's go get our lane.”
The duo went to the main desk, and got a lane and four games. In total it costed $14.02. They paid their dues and went to their lane which was 26.
“I thought it would be more, like maybe seventeen dollars.” Rodney said.
“I ain’t complaining.”
“Neither am I, the last time we were here, it was more.”
“Maybe they're having a special for something.”
“Yea, probably, most likely.”
Lane number 26, was a good number to have due to it being right next to the wall. Also the other bowlers aren’t close to them. When they went two months ago in November, they were stuck right between two big families that were also loud. Needless to say it was frustrating for them, but they still managed to have a good time.
“This lanes great, right next to the wall.” Homer said.
“Yea, Ima gonna go first.”
Rodney entered in his name into the score screen, which appeared above them on a monitor hanging from the ceiling. He then added Homer's name onto the second and last spot in the score board. Rodney had some trouble adding the names onto the screen because the keyboard was being dumb and not doing what Rodney was trying to do. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what he’s doing, who knows?
“Alright that was stupid. Why do we always have trouble with that?” Rodney said with frustration.
“Who knows man, your the one that always puts the names in.”
“Oh, shut up.”
Rodney went to grab a ball from the ball rack and came back quickly with a twelve pound ball.
Homer was reminded by Rodney’s ball, and remembered that he needs a ball to play,
“I’ll be right back.” Homer said.
Unlike Rodney, Homer grabbed a ten pound ball.
“Alright I’m back… Oh seriously.” While Homer went to retrieve his ball, Rodney had taken his first turn and it was done already. Rodney had gotten a strike on his first turn. Rodney laughed at his accomplishment. After Homer finished being surprised he laughed too. But quickly calmed down when the pins reformed to be knocked down again. Homer let his ball loose and allowed it to travel the lane. Unlike Rodney’s ball it hit half as many pins.
“Dude your ball swerved away from the center, I think you would have gotten a strike, like mine if it hadn’t done that.” Rodney said.
Homer rolled his eyes. Rodney takes the game more seriously, but not too seriously. Homer on the other hand doesn’t care at all and is playing just for fun. Homer threw his second ball and hit two more pins for a total of seven.
Homer smirked “Remember that one turkey I got one time.”
“Yea that was crazy, and you didn’t even try.” Rodney spoke and ended with a chuckle. “This time I’m getting my own dinner, I’m getting a turkey”
“Naw, you won’t.” Homer said sorta c***y as he starting to sit down next Rodney who was beginning to stand for his next turn. 
“Just watch” Rodney said while grabbing his ball. Rodney stared towards the pins of injustice. Just like his first turn he managed to get yet another strike. Rodney turned around to look at Homer with a smirk and one eyebrow raised. Homer faces has transformed from a once sorta c***y face to a now worried face with some surprise mixed in there.
“Oh no this is actually happening” Homer said followed by a chuckle.
“Yea that’s right I’m getting this dinner mate.”
Homer stood up, grabbed his ball, and walked towards the the standing position where you throw your ball at the pins. Rodney stood behind him with his hands crossed. On his face was a smirk full of smugness. Homer rolled the ball slowly towards the pins.
“Don’t treat the ball like a snail Homer.”
Seconds went by and the ball finally reached the pins. It tipped over three pins, and those three knocked down six more.
“Homers gonna go for the spare.” Rodney said from behind.
The ball returned from it’s long and dangerous journey of rolling over horrid terrain and then slaying nine evil pins, sparing only one, only to fall into a pit of despair with fallen pins raining down upon him. He was rescued quick by a magical road that brought him back home with other balls as round as he was. Unfortunately he was just tossed again into the lane to hit the final pin.
“And he gets the spare!” Rodney said from behind. “How do you feel after getting such a marvelous spare?”
“I feel pretty good, and I feel it was well deserved due to the work ethic put in.”
“Good, good. Now… How do you feel about me getting a turkey?”
“That’s no good!”
Rodney laughed with Homer at his own terrible sports announcer impression.
“Oh well you best be prepared for the most EPIC turkey you’ve ever seen.”
Rodney grabbed his ball of justice, the same ones that has defeated all the pins of injustice twice with one try each. Rodney readied himself and stared at the menacing pins. As he was ready to roll the ball he heard from behind “Don’t mess up.” Ironically enough Rodney just happens to lose focus which caused the ball to roll away from the center, where his turkey would be handed out to him. Homer laughed at his friend's misfortune.
Rodney screamed “NOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!” As the ball rolled away from the center. It hit two pins, that's most certainly not 10. Rodney turned towards his laughing friend, who was laughing harder now that he heard the epic no. “Come on man, I didn’t do that to you when you got that turkey.”
“I’m sorry” Homer tried to speak but was interrupted by his own laughter. “That was to good of an opportunity to pass up. Your scream was amazing.” Now that the sentence was finished Homer continued to laugh.
“You jerk.” Rodney said with laughter also in his voice, but not nearly as much.
That incident past but the game kept moving on, at the end of the first game Homer pulled ahead by just a couple points. The second game began. At first they both did super good getting high scores each turn. As the second game went on and on, they both stopped caring and didn’t try as much. In the end Homer won again. Game three began with a slow start since they decided to go get some food from the snack stand. Homer bought one of those chocolate bars. Thinking once again about the weird paper that he found earlier he decided to tell Rodney about it.
“So earlier today, I went to the store and bought some more chocolate bars.”
“As usual.”
“Yes, but what's strange is inside the box was this strange piece of paper that said I could get a lifetime supply of chocolate bars if I go to some island, I don’t remember the name of it, and go inside some ruin and find the center with all the chocolate.”
“That sounds ridiculous, we should do it.”
“Wait what, you don’t even like this candy.” Homer took another bite after he said that.
“Yea, but I do like adventure, and I also like doing dumb stuff with you. Also maybe on the off chance that there is actually a bunch of chocolate there, then that’s great for you.”
Suddenly it sounded like a good idea to Homer, now knowing that he will have his best buddy with him. But some worries swam through his mind “I have work.” Homer knows that work doesn’t matter to Rodney, because he’s a self employed programmer that don’t need no employer.
“hmmmm that is a dilemma, hey wait, don’t you have a bunch of vacation days saved up.”
“Oh yeah that’s right, all right I’ll use them and take off next week.”
“Sweet.” Once finished eating they returned to game three, picking off right where they left off. As game three went on within both their heads lived the thought of going on a grand adventure next week with their best friend. This thought carried into game four. Game three ended with Rodney coming out on top by a couple points. The first half of game four was the opposite of the start of game two. Both players don’t care much about the score, because they’re having fun. Also the thought of going on a life changing adventure in a week is quite distracting as well. However for some reason during the middle of the game, they both started to actually try. Neither of them said anything about going hard for the last part of game four. There just cracking jokes with each other and casually talking. Must be some best friend connection.
Game four ended with Rodney winning by the hairs on his chinny chin chin. Each won two games, some people would do a tie breaker, but they don’t because they think tie breakers are dumb. Plus they figured that they’ll probably just tie again next time they go bowling. Homer put away both of the balls while Rodney cleaned up the mess from the food. Then they returned to their lane and grabbed their stuff. With everything ready they both left the bowling alley. It was time to say goodbye.
“That was fun.” Rodney said. “While have to work out the details about our adventure online.”
“Yea, alright I’ll be seeing you.”
“Bye.”
Both friends walked away from each other and entered their own car. Then both drove away from the bowling alley. While driving home, both Homer and Rodney become more and more excited about the next week. Hours went by and the sun set and the moon rose, then the sun rose again. They both returned to their normal lives. Homer went back to work at the elementary school. The first day back he spoke with his boss and took off for the next week. Rodney went back to his programming job. He decided to go all out and work really hard so that he can get a lot of stuff accomplished before his vacation of adventure.
The week went surprisingly fast for the both of them. It was Friday again in no time flat. They met up at the port at 9:00.
“Hey dude.” Rodney said
“Hey, alright let's go over the plan one more time.”
During the week they worked out a plan together online.
“Come on man you gotta remember this stuff. First we get on this boat I rented, then we sail to Ascension Island. Then we go to the ruins which is in the Northern part of the island. When we get inside we be very careful so that we don’t set off any traps, then we make our way to the center to see if the chocolate is there.”
“Okay good, ready to go?”
“Wait let me just make sure I have everyth…”
Homer’s patience broke. “COME ON MAN WE GOTTA GO!” Homer grabbed Rodney and dragged him onto the boat. Homer started the engine and set off. Rodney stared at him to make with a confused look. Then he went back to continuing what he was doing before that.
“I don’t have the map” Rodney said.
“Seriously, how could you forget the map?”
“Maybe because you dragged me onto the boat before I finished my preparations.”
The boat made a 180 and began making a return to the port.
“Maybe you should be more prepared like I am.”
“Nobody’s perfect Homer, so quit your yapping.”
They had returned to port. Rodney jumped out and grabbed the map that was sitting on the bench near them. Homer waiting inside the boat, with an angry look on his face. Rodney jumped back in.
“Start driving.” Rodney said.
Homer didn’t say anything but did respond by starting the drive. Twenty minutes passed and Homer said. “I’m tired, can we trade places.”
“Seriously? It’s been like twenty minutes and you're already sleepy. Alright fine.”
Homer moved away from the driver's seat as Rodney moved up front to the seat Homer sat in moments ago. Homer went to bed.
Two hours later Homer awoke and saw Rodney asleep in the drivers seat.
“DUDE DUDE DUDE!” Homer screamed at Rodney. Now he was awake to. “You feel asleep in the drivers seat. You better hope that we aren’t off course or I’m gonna be mad.” Homer grabbed the gps and checked their current location. “Okay thank god, were surprisingly not off course by that much at all. Wanna trade places, obviously you can’t handle the job.”
“Yeah fine whatever.” Rodney said with a sleepy voice. They traded spots yet again. Homer drove for another two hours until they arrived on Ascension Island “We’re here” Homer said as he nudged Rodney causing him to wake up.
“Alright good, the entrance should be around here somewhere. Start looking.”
Both of them began the search for the entrance to the ruins after about an hour Homer went up to Rodney and said “Dude, I’m sleepy can we take a break.”
“No, I just found it.” Rodney pointed to a golden doorway that led inside the ancient ruin. Rodney walked inside. “Come on.” Homer followed behind, with little energy. After a couple seconds Rodney found a trap. “Stop.” But Homer didn’t stop “STOP!” Rodney screamed this time. Homer did stop but not before activating a trip wire. Suddenly an arrow appeared from within the wall and fired like how someone would fire a bow. It came quick really quick, and Homer’s heart would have been pierced if Rodney hadn’t shoved Homer out of the way at the last second.
“What was that, were you sleepwalking or something. You almost died from that stupid trap that I warned you about.” Rodney said with anger.
“Well maybe if we took a rest like I said I needed, then we wouldn’t have that risk at all!” Homer screamed.
“You’re not tired.”
“Yes I am”
“If you were tired, then you wouldn’t have the energy to scream like that. Come on lets go farther.” Rodney picked up the arrow off the ground and pointed it towards Homer. “And don’t you dare fall asleep again.” Rodney walked deeper inside the ruins, with Homer following behind him. As they get deeper and deeper the arguing gets worse and worse. They begin to forget the goal of their mission.
“Don’t step on the trap!” Homer warned as Rodney took another step forward. “You idiot, you just stepped on the pressure plate!! Now there’s a damn boar chasing us.”
After managing to slay the boar with the arrow that Rodney picked up, they kept going into the ruins.
“There it is the doorway to the main room.” Rodney said with little breath in his voice.
“You open it, it could be trapped.”
“Heck no, you open it.”
“How about we both open it.”
“Fine.”
Homer and Rodney worked together once again and opened the door to the main area. Inside was a treasure to one, but not the other.
“No way I don’t believe it!” Homer and Rodney said simultaneously.
At the center of the main room laid exactly what the paper had described, a lifetime supply of chocolate bars. Homer ran towards them, leaving Rodney alone in a state of complete shock. Homer began eating each and every chocolate bar, he could get his hands on. His face smiled as he ate more and more.
Rodney stood alone, in front of the exit still in complete shock with what he’s witnessing. Minutes passed and Rodney finally spoke quietly “He… he doesn’t deserve this.” Another few minutes passed until Rodney spoke again, this time with anger. “He does not deserve this, not at all.” Rodney then looked at the arrow that he was gripping tightly in his hand. Then he looked at Homer who was eating Chocolate bars in the center, not even looking at Rodney. One more time Rodney looked at the arrow in his hand, but only for a couple seconds. Continuing to grip his arrow tightly, Rodney began his walk over to Homer.
Homer hears the footsteps coming closer and closer to him, but he choses to eat another chocolate bar, before looking back. But when he finishes that one, he decides to eat another one, this cycle continues until Rodney was right behind him, that’s when he decided to look back.
Rodney looked at him, with a blank face. Homer stared at him, but was continuing to chew his chocolate bar. Homer doesn’t even notice the arrow held in Rodney’s hand.
“Die.” Rodney said as he thrusted the arrow into Homer’s skull. Immediately Homer stopped chewing, his mouth opened fully wide and a mix of blood and melted chocolate came pouring out. Despite Rodney knowing that he was dead, he thrusted the arrow into the corpse more and more, more blood came out when all the chocolate was emptied out. Rodney didn’t stop until he could see the arrow within Homer’s wide opened mouth. That’s when he let go and allowed Homer’s corpse to fall to the ground. The corpse landed back first onto of a bunch of chocolate bars.
Looking at the corpse Rodney slowly began to realize what he just did.
“I’m a murderer…. I’m a murderer, I don’t like that.”
He had realized the act in which he had done, but he hadn’t yet realized who his victim was. At least not until he spent another minute looking at the corpse.
“Homer, I’m so sorry.” Tears began pouring from his eyes like sad raincloud. “I didn’t want this. It was suppose to be me and you. Just me and you, being friends forever. This is all my fault, if I didn’t want to go on this trip, none of this would have ever happened.” Rodney remembered that Homer was dead and couldn’t hear him, so he stopped talking and only cried.