As my city woke up everyone did. Birds chirping like hearing snow whites voice, babies with energy like a kangaroo, streets with security and trust, and voices following you everywhere you go. Everyone could go out and have fun, buy ice cream from stands, and tacos from food trucks on every corner of a street. Walking out of my house and as kids energized on the streets, they framed of being as football player, bailarinas or as race cars. I would bake cookies with chocolate melting inside raising from the oven, the fresh smell spreading through all the neighborhood. Afterward I would go selling my cookies jumping all around, with a smile so big it didn't fit in my face. Walking past the houses, green, pink, orange, red trees, bushes, games, screaming children and into my grandmas house, when needing or missing something. Trusting people around you, and helping those with no home, money, or family that knock on your door. Walking out the door and seeing the enormous rocks 1 trillion times bigger than me, with green trees, and grayish parts surrounding my home, and many peoples home. Smelling smoke, meat, cebolla, cilantro, tortillas from the stand, and trumpets, violin, guitar, vihuela, guitarron playing while  mariachis sang happy b-day to my neighbor next door. Having plans for the weekend on my ranch, beside the highway. Driving on the back seat beside my annoying brothers, passing through the houses that need to be fixed. Down a tunnel, to the right 2 times, to the left and inside the port leading us to my ranch. All the houses surrounding us weren’t like the city houses. Taking every street you want, and knowing everyone is trustful and you'll be safe. Being lost, and having that feeling the person on the street will be kind and can help you find the way.
The peaceful world wouldn't last long. From one day to another things started to twist. I started noticing different things. As I would open the door, I heard something unusual. Something you may not have heard in your life. I heard peace, but it wasn't as peaceful as I thought. It was the opposite; it was peaceful, quiet and loneliness. No snow white singing animals, no ballerinas or racecars, and the voices disappeared. All I could hear was the honking of the cars, and the unpleasant type of quiet. Besides the unpleasant quiet, I started to hear the annoying voice of my Mom. But the words she said, I was dreaming, it couldn't be true. What all child dreams of, was she really talking to me?
My Mom dramatically raised her voice at me “Close the door with lock and come inside to watch TV or play video games.”
It was a miracle, why would any mom tell you that? Aren’t they always talking endlessly about their childhood with no access to internet? The same story over and over? About how when they were little they would always play outside, and how fun it was?
“You are not allowed to go outside without supervision,” she continued. “From now on I need to go with you and today is not the day to play outside.”
“Okay, Mom,” I replied rolling my eyes with an unpleasant voice. 
It was strange, my Mom would never talk to me that way, not because I was going to play outside. She would talk to me that way when I started seeing TV, like every ordinary kid. But now she was telling me to watch TV, so I wasn't bothered. 
Through the weeks when I asked for ice cream or tacos from the stand on the corner, my Mom wouldn’t let me buy tacos or the delicious refreshing ice cream, she was acting very strict, something strange about her. When I sold my homemade, chocolate melting, chewy, and just made cookies to the small amount of people passing by, they wouldn't buy. Besides I was only allowed to sell them when my Mom, or sibling was watching me. It was strange, but I just ignored it. A year passed and no mariachis. No fun trips to my ranch by the highway. It seemed like a new city, a new place, all had changed.
As I went to school as a normal kid  with my hair all electrified, and my face with my eyes closed, peeking a little to see where I was walking to, and my brother driving, of course he would never volunteer to drive to school it was something he was asked to do. My Mom would tell us don't go through sketchy streets, don't take shortcuts, don't go on this street, and don't something, don't something. Suddenly she had all this type of “rules” to get to school. And as I walked through the hallways people would be talking about security, but not only in school. Also outside classes, grandmas house, and even in  house. I was only in 3rd grade, so I didn't know or understand much. My friends and I would suddenly bring up that idea of security and say things we had heard such as bullets on this street, and this person got kidnapped, etc.
As 24 passed continually, with less opportunities and freedom, I started seeing less and less people in my city, in the city of mountains. One of my best friend left, and many other relatives of mine. It was hard to say goodbye, specially to those I loved, but I didn't really know they were living for security reasons.  And the same time people where living, people weren't living. Many trips got canceled, and if you had a trip it would mostly be by a plane. The highway wasn't the best place to be. Highways were like a park where you could go and do tremendous things to the innocents. Still planes weren’t the safest thing, they could also take important stuff or personal info from your luggage.
As I went to school, the lockdowns practice would be more often. So people didn't take them seriously anymore. As we had many drills, people would talk, shout, and goof every time their was a drill, and take it like a break. I was in 3rd grade and we had a lockdown practice like usual. Well that’s what we all thought.
“Teachers and students this is a lockdown practice… please remain quiet… close all doors with lock… clear hallways and bathrooms… lock all doors… “ We would hear from the speakers.
As we hide behind the shelf, beside a window (which was a ridiculous hiding place for a lock down), and remained laying down on the floor or at least the girls. But this drill seemed different to the girls and the teacher. The teacher suddenly took the smile off her face and turned it into a serious, fearing face. She didn't know their would be a lockdown practice, which she normally would be notified by an e-mail. From the very end I could hear shooting. It wasn't only me, but my friends could hear it too, we were all frightened to death. As it did not took about 3 minutes the drill, it took about 15 min. We were all scared and silenced. But you would hear all the boys chatting like they were in a friend’s house. As the drill finished, our faces changed completely, from scared and worried, to playful and happy, school continued like an ordinary day. It was like if there wasn't any shooting, we still didn't know if it was just an unusual drill, or a real shooting. With my friends during lunch and brothers as I went in my car would start talking about this unusual drill.
They would say things like this ”Why wouldn't they say it was a real shooting. At least it was far from here. It might be to keep us calm.”
So I ignored them. But as my sister got that was from high school she told us it was a real shooting. In high school they had said the truth.
As I feared every time going to school every day just because of 1 lie, I started to know why the city was changing, why people was leaving, and why no sound of people I would hear by going out. Every drill we would now take it serious. They could be another lie. We wouldn't trust the drills any more, we would just lay in fear. I wouldn't talk to anyone except the people I knew. I would be praying at every moment I had a chance. And hoped for happiness, and peace in my city. Everyone was in danger.
It was another school fearing day, months had passed by now I can still remember it was on February and how it was Friday. As the first period past, everything was going normal. We had break, as always. And returned to our classes. I had another class, and another. I was in about the first 15 minutes of the 4th class. Pum, Bzztzz, the lights went to sleep. We had no light, air conditioning, no water, and no Wi-Fi. It was getting hotter and hotter every minute. We couldn't do writing class; it would involve Wi-Fi. We couldn't go to the bathroom; the toilet wouldn't work. As you would enter the bathroom and the door was closed you wouldn't see a thing, it became a black room. The last 2 hours passed eterned.
School finally ended, so I went with Pau, and Vale to our carpool place. Pau and Vale are like twins from the inside, both are good friends, kind, innocent, brave, fearless, and cry in hard situations. We were talking, and talking about what we should cook as we got to vales house, and would we do etc. It was a big carpool, Pau, Corde, and Tavo were siblings. Mau, and Fede were siblings, Eugenio, and me were siblings, and vale, which had a 4 year old brother in pre kinder. We were all together in the same spot, except Corde she was in kindergarten and wasn't here yet. We were waiting for my aunt to come, and for Corde to show up, she was normally late. Corde was about 5 years old, she was a naive girl, cute, smart and small, and she always had to wait for her teacher to bring her to the carpools place. Waiting for my Aunt to arrive, we were all so desperate to get home. We were waiting as usual, about 5 minutes had passed since the bell rang. Pom, Pom, Pom, guns were screaming, that was the only thing I heard from far away. We were all hoping the microphone would call out for my carpools number, but they didn't. The microphone wouldn't say my carpools number. The vise principal had the microphone, she was nice, and non dramatic not as past principals.
“Number 345, 654, 218, hurry 345, 654, 218, 218 Marcela.” Suddenly out of nowhere she started raising her voice. Her face had wide eyes as big as the eyes as a owl, and her yaw fell down open. “EVERYONE PLEASE GO TO THE CAFETERIA HURRY! MOMS GET OUT OF THE CAR, HURRY, HURRY, RUN EVERYONE TO THE CAFETERIA THIS IS A LOCK DOWN TO THE CAFETERIA EVERYONE. PLEASE FOLLOW THE TEACHERS.”
We didn't know what was happening, it all seemed blurry for me. My heart was beating faster than a cheetah could run. Students started running it all seemed like a big  tornado. Kids were everywhere, going up any way possible. Cars stopping fast, including buses. Some crashes I think I heard from far behind. Teacher yelling instructions, trying to control the tornado that was happening of students.  She was opposite of that, worried, and pist off. We all walked as fast as we could to the cafeteria. Most of the people were acting as if someone close would have suffered an illness and did not survive. Carpools were sitting all together. So I was with my friends. We were all crying in fear. Corde hadn't shown up yet. She wasn't with her teacher that’s the only thing we knew at the time. Those few minutes passed like eternity. We were lucky it didn't happen in elementary, but instead with high school. And high school ends an hour before. Just middle school ended at the same time as we do. As I was sitting in a cafeteria table, comforting my two friends. Watching every student suffer in fear and wonder of what was happening outside, and if it wasn't too dangerous. I started releasing everything. All the pieces were together and Id just solves the puzzle. Everyone was leaving, streets were quiet, fireworks were canceled, and people were sad for the same reason. My city was in danger, and I just released in all the danger I had been. As the minutes passed moms, dads, and drivers started entering. I saw my aunt come in worried and looking for us. As she saw us a relief came out of her.
“Come the car is in the parking lot, are you okay?” She asked us while walking.
“My sister, where is she, I haven't heard or can see here anywhere!” Pau yelled.
It was the first time I saw Pau worrying about her sister. They where alwas fighting like cats and dogs.
“She must be in a kindergarten class room hiding. They must have taken her to a safer room,” she pointed out.
As we got to the parking lot is was silence. No voice, no sound. Cars everywhere, people hiding. As we got to the car we still didn't have a clue of Corde.
“Remain her don't go anywhere. Hide your heads and no sound. Ill be back soon.” She ordered us as she went walking.
My aunt seemed very nervous, so we just followed as she instructed us.  A moment later she came walking, I could see her from far, she seemed relieved. Beside her I could see a little person, I wasn't sure how it was. They took a few steps forward and I was starting to see a better look. It was a girl, long hair, pink shorts, and a sleeveless pink shirt. I could see her, she had corde by her hand. I they opened the door no one spoke. Pau hugged her and whispered to her, I couldn't hear. The car remained silent all the way to our home. It was never like that. We would always be screaming in the cars. We had plans, Pau, Vale, and me. We canceled them, by forgetting of the nerve we had. We just wanted to see our family, and remain silence for the rest of the day.
It wasn't what I had in mind, to go to school on Monday. Hallways were quiet as if everyone was dead in school. Everyone was shocked of what happened on Friday. Rumors were around, and made up stories as well. You would never know the truth of how the shooting started in high school. To many rumors and lies were invented. The only stories we know were true was the 2 people that died to protect us. 1 was from school and the 2 one was a guard from a kid in school. From that day on, it would never be like normal. Every sound from the street sounded like a shot. Every firework also, besides they were provided and people would still use them just to scare people off.
After time I realized how people die to protect others. Back then I thought it was something that happened often, in others schools. I thought it was not a big deal. But I was 9, I was an innocent, naive, selfish, and a greedy kid, what did I know. I knew 1 school guard died, and that 1 or 2 secret agents died also. I just felt sorry for them. Never thanked them for protecting me, Even though I knew they were dead I could have talked to them from here through god. I could have thanked those who stayed alive.
“Thankyou for saving my life, while I was innocent, as well as you. You never deserved to die, you didn't have to. You could have gave up and left us alone and let them do what they came for. But you did more than you were asked for and died to save kids, parents, teachers, and maintainance people.” I reflected, and thanked them years after, both alive and the ones who weren't here with us in the moment. 
I experienced many times where we thought they were bullets. It has been a rough life since then. Living in fear, and sadness for those who died wasn't what I expected.  Things are safer, but its hard to live the fear behind. Streets are still lonely, but not as before. We have the privilege to go by whichever street, but still we judge the streets too much. Fire works are available, which they just scare you even more. Tacos are not like always; the stores are pretty much the safest ones. People started to come back, and shooting was less often. Drills, not that much. Cookie selling, not my thing anymore. Halloween trick or treating, mm not the best. Mariachis are often. But the trust we have isn't enough. We still fear of bad policeman’s, and workers. Trust won't be like always. I wish I wouldn't have lived in this fear.
Every often, I still remember the termbase day it was. I still fear. I don't have the trust as always. I don't smile as often. I don't appreciate as I did before. I can't stay alone as often. I make sure each night my house is locked from the top to the bottom. And make sure the alarm is on. Wonder of each person that walks by me. And wonder if I am helping the right person. The world for me has change, from 1 city to another. All the peace has been left behind, and walked over by our community.
Every night I ask myself “Why me, why now, couldn't the world have waited?”