Everything around me was bare, and so was my skin against the sheets. Bare, unlike the normal tan I fashion during the summer months, since I originally come from Texas. However, six months stuck in the middle of a forest with my grandma, right in the center of Scandinavia didn't lighten my mood nor my skin. I saw her kill a mole with a shovel. It was all very graphic.

Those six months with her had opened my eyes to my faults. If only she hadn't died so suddenly.

I see my parent’s silhouette through the clouded glass inserted into the large white door. The room itself smelled like bleach with white walls and a small rickety bedside cabinet with a vase of lilies sitting gently in the water. They smelled almost like vanilla icing and cold nights by the fire with my grandmother. I stare at the clock slowly ticking above the door as I itch my arms again due to the sheets. I had been out for about three hours and my mind was still foggy.

The bronze knob slowly twisted in the door, and I tensed slightly, before trying to keep my back straight so I could sit up. I pushed out my chin and folded my arms over my chest. My eyes searched Uncle Theseus as he walked into the room, a tiered look on his bloated face. My mother, Aphrodite, followed after him and the door was shut. My father didn't make an appearance, and his silhouette remained outside.

"How do you feel Margret?" Uncle Theseus asked in his professional voice, looking down at me from the bottom of the bed.

"Absolutely great," I said sarcastically, before rolling my eyes and looking at my mother’s shoes. She had worn her best shoes, the shoes she had worn on my sixteenth birthday. She'd forgotten it was my birthday, and had to run to Walmart to pick me up a teletubbies cake and an apology letter. So I threw the cake in her face. They were white high heeled shoes, with a little strap going around the ankle and a golden buckle. I had always liked those shoes.

"Good." Uncle Theseus answered half-heartedly and I turned to look into his eyes. He simply raised an eyebrow. "I have spoken to the Principal and your mother as pleaded her case, and despite the judgement from his closest administrator he has decided that you are eligible for the facilities here. You will however, have to pay a fee. Which your father has said he is willing to pay. You’re also going to have a six month period where we are eligible to send you home if we believe you are better. Do you understand?" I nod simply, my mother still standing by the door awkwardly. "We are also aware that you have a serious history with substance abuse, including Marijuana, MDMA and Alcohol, because of this you will not be up for any of the Drug Treatment programs. You have been diagnosed with Depression and are obliged, as part of your treatment program, to take at least three hours of therapy a week, not including the two hours of anger management."

I began itching my arm again against the sheets. Nobody said anything for a while, but my mother's high heels disrupted the hidden rage in the room. She moved forward towards me, her blond hair caressing my face as she kissed me on the forehead. I looked deep into her blue eyes at that moment, and she looked back at mine, closed off and alone. I turned away.

She left without another word.

"You may think you have won this time Margret, but I’m warning you now, we have a small campus of students, students that seek normality and security, if you ruin that in anyway, you’ll be out on your ass. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," I said half-heartedly as I watch my mother and fathers silhouettes walk down the corridor and become smaller and smaller, before they disappear into the darkness.

I thought that for most of my adolescence I had been alone, enclosed in my own mind, kept prisoner. It is only in this moment I see that I was never really alone, but now, I truly was.

"Come." Uncle Theseus spoke harshly. "We have a lot to speak of. This isn't your normal school Margret, and you need to be aware of the risks."

"The risks?" I ask, feeling suddenly afraid.

"Yes." Uncle Theseus said.

"Please sit," Uncle Theseus said, mentioning to the chair just opposite him. The same chair I sat on when I had my fit of rage not three hours ago. The room had already been completely reordered, the desk was back on its right side, the papers had been put back on the desk in the incredibly organized way they were before. This obviously happened often enough that Uncle Theseus thought it necessary to keep a large red button by the door.
"That red button is to call the nurses during the school day when they're not by the nurse center, just opposite where we are now." He says, pointing towards the closed door. I sit back down on the wooden chair with the red cushion, and stare back towards the window and into the night. I suppressed a yawn, realizing that it was nine o'clock now. I had arrived here at six thirty.
"I have called a student to come and show you to your dorm for the first night. She'll also be your buddy tomorrow and help you with the choices for school. It's generally a normal school day with seven different classes spanning around 30 minutes long. The school day officially starts at 8:15 but breakfast is served in the cafeteria at 7:00." I listened carefully, wondering how this really differs from a normal boarding school. Well, apart from the fact it was filled with people with serious mental health issues, but still. It was remarkably normal.
There was a soft little knock at the door and Uncle Theseus suddenly straightened himself out. I turned to look towards the large wooden door which remained unaltered.
"Come on in," Uncle Theseus shouted softly, before getting out of his seat to greet the girl who entered. She was tall, with brown hair flowing down just passed her shoulders. She had glittery brown eyes, sparkling with the light that reflected from them. She had a thick nose and pouty lips, long eyelashes and curvy hips. She stood nervously in the doorway wearing jeans and a long sweater.
"Hello Ace, this is Margret." Ace smiled sweetly at me as she walked over and took my hand into hers. Her nails were long and well looked after, with half moons shaping her fingertips.
"Nice to meet you, Margret," Ace replied, before sitting on the chair my mother had sat in, right next to mine. She smiled reassuringly at me before turning to Uncle Theseus with expectant eyes. I stayed silent.
"Ace has been a student here for around two months so she's fairly new." Uncle Theseus told me, before turning his attention back to Ace. "She's had to be sedated already, be careful with her." With a flick of his hand, Ace was suddenly standing. She noticed me still sitting, and flicked her hand at me with her head pointing towards the door. I got up out of my seat and she held the door open for me, but before I could reach the door, Uncle Theseus spoke to me.
"Oh and Margret, please don't screw this up." I didn't acknowledge him with an answer. The door was shut.
"Just ignore him." Ace smiled with her yellowed teeth. I was taken back slightly. She obviously cared about what she looked like, and took a lot of pride in her appearance. Maybe she could just never be bothered to clean her teeth. I shrugged to myself, it's not like I was one to judge others for their appearance. I wore a long sweater, a pair of ripped tights, large black boots and one leg warmer. Really attractive and fashionable. I snorted. Ace gave me a strange expression before shrugging herself.
"I guess my job is to show you around." I carried on staring at my feet. "Well, come on, this way." I followed her down the corridor towards a side of the building I've never been too before. "Over there is the nurses station, that's normally where we go if you get a bad reaction to medication." My head snaps up towards the large brick arch in the corridor with the words 'Nurses Center' written across it. "The school used to be a medical facility for the mentally ill. You know the old ones that used to torture people like us." Ace was surprisingly normal for someone I would consider as mentally ill.
"If you don't mind me asking, what have you got?" She didn't turn around to acknowledge me. She just spoke.
"Bulimia." Well, that's where she got the yellow teeth from. Her long well manicured hand pointed over to another large arch. "Over there is the Therapy Corner. It's where we meet our therapists. That's also where we have group meeting that aren't compulsory. Like the 'talking' club for example. It's a bunch of bollocks if you ask me, but it seems to work for some people." She simply shrugged. We walked to the end of the building and into a small courtyard.
The courtyard itself looked like something from a story book. There was a cobbled ground with moss growing in between the cracks, with delicious honeysuckle climbing all four of the Gothic buildings that stood around us. There was a small fountain in the middle that wasn't working. Every building had a large arch and giant, great wooden doors. 'Humanities and Social Science' was the first building, the second building was 'Science and Mathematics' and the third building was 'Electives'.
Ace turned to look at me with fierce muddy eyes.
"It's really hard to get lost here." Then she smiled again, and I gave a sly smile back. The fourth building had a large arch which read 'Dorms'. "This is where we sleep, eat and play." She smiled again. The large wooden doors were open, and lead into a large, surprisingly modern room. There were desks and chairs scattered around the room, including four machines dispensing nothing but water, low calorie breakfast bars and packaged fruit. There were only about twenty students here, with their books out. They all eyed me suspiciously before their eyes snapped back to their work.
Suddenly a figure came sprinting towards us from the staircase, Ace quickly moved out the way, and I followed her to the side. The boy looked fiercely determined as he ran past us at full pelt without even a glance.
"That." She said pointing to the disappearing figure, "Is Ryder. He's what you call a real nut job." She laughed to herself.
"What does he have, ADHD?" I ask.
"Nope. He's got Manic Depression, but if we were going to be specific, he's Bipolar. Well, Bipolar II." She spoke while walking towards one of two staircases at the end of the room. "The left side is the guys dorms, and the female dorms are the right side. I got confused once, and all the OCD guys and Social Phobia guys went mental so be careful." She says clearly.
I follow Ace up the stone staircase and am delivered into another room, about half the size of the one down the stairs. There were only a few girls here, and most of them looked like they had severe eating disorders. They give Ace a dirty look as she smiled at them.
"These walking zombies Margret, are the popular kids." There were about five of them in total, and they all looked like skeletons. I cringed inwardly, but my face showed nothing. One of them leaned back in her chair and folded her twigs for arms over her chest.
"At least I'm skinny Ace. At least I'm not a fat pig like you." Ace didn't flinch at her words, but grinned sadistically. "You think you’re so amazing 'cuz you've got a crazy s*** faced boyfriend. I'm not surprised he went for a fat girl like you, he's just as crazy as the rest of them." Ace suddenly went red and began to storm towards the end of the room.
"At least she ain't ugly like you five f*ers." I said with a cruel grin.
"Excuse me?" The ginger one asked, her hair as limp as the rest of her body.
"That's right. You're all f*ing ugly, eat a doughnut or something." Ace had her mouth open, and one of the five girls began to cry. I walked over to Ace who looked suddenly angry. We walked silently up another set of stairs before we ended up in three large corridors, all sprinting out from the stairs.
"Listen." Ace said, turning to look at me. "As much as I appreciate that you stuck up for me down there, don't okay? You can't just say that to them, they have seriously f*ed up mental issues. The ginger one tried to commit suicide the last time someone called her ugly." I stared up at her silently. She passed me a key with a room number. "Everything you say has an impact here. I need to go and make sure she's okay." Ace gave me a disgusted look for a moment, before hopping down the stairs.
I stare at the room key and look towards all three corridors.
Alone.
Again.

The room was small, with a tiny window situated just below my forehead. My eyes tried to focus through the metal bars dividing my view, but there was not much I could see due to the little forest of great oaks. I could make out the road, the road my parents would have driven down not half an hour ago. I couldn't help the feeling that they had abandoned me. They hadn't... but I was selfish, so I felt betrayed.
They didn't make a mistake.
I should be here.
I sat down on the surprisingly bouncy bed, and my hands felt the soft white sheets. I would make the room mine eventually, instead of this horrible sterility, but until then I would have to deal with the emptiness. The suitcase I had packed was already here, it must have been mom. I hate her for loving me so badly.
I fell asleep surprisingly quickly that night, and even though my mind was racing with future possibilities, I had a dreamless night. That was strange for me. Ever since the death of my grandmother, I had been more vulnerable to night terrors. I dealt with them on my own, while wishing she would finally stop hiding and come get me. She never did. She was still buried six feet underground, in some Scandinavian grave yard with no one she knew. In her will she had refused to be buried at home with Grandad. She was a strange woman.
The knock on my door irritated me considerably, and when the knock sounded again I told whoever it was to piss off.
"PISS OFF YOURSELF. Come on Maggie, you don't mind if I call you that do you?" Ace asked. "Well, It doesn't matter 'cause that's what you're stuck with. If you want the bathroom then get your ass moving." I threw a pillow at the door, knowing full well she won't know I've done it. The impact still makes it worthwhile for me though.
I sat up and my head span. I groaned and stared at the clock. It was six o'clock in the morning. Well, that wasn't that bad. I had a decent sleep, and I would surely need it for my first day of school. I have been to nine different schools, not including the six months with my Grandmother. However, I haven't been to a boarding school. So, this was entirely new.
The bathroom frightened me. It was just too clean. I took a quick shower of cold water, before walking out into the corridor in my towel. A girl leaned in her doorway, wearing a long sleeved T-shirt and pants. She stared at me with her cold violet eyes.
"You keep the towels in the bathroom." She said with fake kindness. I turned around to meet her frightening eyes one more time.
"Sorry." I said, though I really wanted to punch her in the face. Not quite sure why though. Maybe something inside me knew I would dislike her. "I'm new." I shrugged.
"No s*** there Sherlock. You're supposed to leave the towels in the bathroom, that's why you have a bathrobe in your room."
"Well." I said, irritated by her scratchy voice. "I'll remember that for next time." I continued walking down the corridor to my room, where Ace was already sitting on my bed, her high heels scratching on the wooden floor.
"You're supposed to leave the towels in the bathroom. That's what the dressing gowns for." She said, pointing towards the back of the door where the white dressing robe hung.
"I know." I said angrily, while standing near the door.
"Okay there grumpy." She said, her well plucked eyebrows raised. I indicated that maybe she should leave. She stayed where she was.
"Listen, I'm sorry about the way I left it yesterday, but what I said still stands." She said, her hands folded across her chest. "You can't go around insulting-"
"They were insulting you first!" I said, clearly upset by her motives. "Surely you can stand up for yourself here?"
"Yeah." She said, frowning once more. She stood up, and in her heels she towered over me. I suddenly felt really small very quickly. "But I can stand up for myself. You need to watch out for you, not me, get it?" I nodded up at her. "We're cool now. I'll see you downstairs in five."





















***
My hair was still wet as I made my way down the stairs. I didn't bother with make-up or nice clothes. I wear what I feel most comfortable in. That seemed to be shorts and a baggy jumper. It smelled remarkably like home, and I wished I could remember the detergent my mom used to use. It smelled like lemons.
My soggy hair was still dripping through my jumper and piercing my warm skin uncomfortable. I walked down the stairs uneasily to see about fifty or so children sitting around silently in the hall. I stood uneasily by the edge of the room, unsure of what to do. They all stared at me as if I'd invaded them from another planet. They were all scarily silent, apart from a booming laugh from the other side of the room.
It was the nut job. Or, Ryder. He was sitting on his own in the corner of the room, and had a book open on his lap. He laughed so loud, even the distant chatter of the Anorexic girls stopped. He didn't stop laughing, and my curiosity towards him increased. He just really didn't seem to care about what anyone else thought. I wanted to see what he was reading, but I couldn't get a chance. He laughed once more, the sound echoing throughout the room, before his face fell straight again, suddenly worried about the character's livelihood.
"When I said five, I didn't actually mean five, you know that right?" Asked Ace. "I wasn't pressuring you or anything, if you wanna blow dry your hair that's fine." I looked at her beauty with irritation. I stared at her long enough before she got the message. "Okay, fine." She said, whilst rolling her eyes.
A steady boy with curious dark blue eyes stood behind her. He wore two white rubber gloves, and helds a wet wipe in his left hand. His light brown hair is ordered neatly over his forehead, and his tie pushed up to the very top of his baby blue button down shirt.
"Maggie, this is Isaac. He's my boyfriend." She said it with so much pride, I almost felt uncomfortable. I was never really at home talking about relationships, or maybe it was just seeing other people happy that sickened me. I want to be happy, screw anyone else.
"Hey." I said, he stared at Ace for reassurance before she nodded at him. His white gloved hand suddenly shot out at me, and he forced a smile. I took his hand into mine, and he suddenly cringed, before taking it back quickly.
"Isaac come on." Ace complained, looking disappointed.
"Too soon." Isaac stutters, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "You have no idea what could be crawling over her right now." He said, before taking Ace's arm and pushing her away from me. "She could have hepatitis, or Tuberculosis ." He said with fear in his cold blue eyes.
"Right Isaac, I need to go now." Ace said, looking suddenly exhausted.
"What?" He said, suddenly panicked. "What do you mean?"
"I need to go to take Maggie here to see Mr. Theseus. She's got to get her schedule." Isaac narrowed his beautiful eyes at me.
"She can do that by herself can't she?" He said. "You could get hurt." Ace just smiled at him before kissing him on the cheek.
"Isaac, go take your medication alright, babe?" She said kindly. He turned bright red, staring at his leather shoes with sudden interest.
"Okay. You'll be here when I get back right? You've got to keep safe."
"I'll be fine." Ace said, before leading me away. I could feel Isaac's eyes on us as we walked out, and I watched Ryder again with his hand is over his mouth in terror. I catch the book title.
The Shinning. Stephan King.

I sat on the wooden chair, watching as the teacher stood in the front of the room, her over aggressive hands backing her theories in English Literature. I opened the book to page one, feeling the old pages. Tess of the D’Urbervilles was the book's name. I had heard of it before, but had never shown any inclination to read it, or to even find out what it was about. I read the first line and shrugged before shutting the book again and pressing my head onto the desk. My hair had dried completely now, and little curls bounced off my shoulders and down towards the floor. I fiddled with my split ends, pulling them out harshly before letting them fall to the floor.
“I’m sorry Miss Hardy, am I boring you?” I crane my neck to look at her and shake my head. Grandmother’s tip number one – “Keep that stupid little mouth shut.” Miss Cary gave me her extremely famous look before turning back towards the blackboard. “Your assignment for this week is to write me an essay on what you think of phase the first: The Maiden. I would like them on my desk by Friday. Oh and Miss Hardy, I’d like a word with you.”
I pushed myself out of my seat, pulling up my Emily the Strange bag as I went. Miss Cary sat down at her desk before opening the large register book and picking up a pen. “Welcome I suppose.” She said, pulling a piece of brown hair from her eyes. “For this class you’re going to read two books, Tess and Women in Love. Read them, read up on them and know the stories inside and out.” She gave me Women in Love and pushed her glasses up her nose. “For you to succeed in this class, you’ll need to hand in all homework on time and to a decent standard. At the end of year examination, you’ll be given two questions on each book and one hour and twenty minutes to compete them. If you need anything, please just come to see me.” She smiled then, a big southern smile. I smiled back at her, before bowing my head to look at the floor before going to my next class.
***
I stood awkwardly by the door. This was it. My last class before lunch. My first day had succeeded so far. I hadn’t spoken out of turn, I did all my work and I kept quiet. There was one thing that was nagging me however, cigarettes. I hadn’t smoked in three days and it was finally taking its toll. My hands were shaking and I tried to hold onto my books, they fell to the floor.
“Oh, look at you little bird.” A voice sung from behind me. I turned to look at a woman with dreads done up in a pony tail, a nose piercing and several ear peircings. She wore a top of beads and a long tie dyed skirt touching the floor. “Here, let me help you.” She bent down to pick up my books and passed them to me, before hauling me into the room. “Look how nervous you are little dove. Don’t be scared, no one here bites.” I blushed beet-root red at that moment, before looking up at the only seats available.
The only one that sat at the back was Ryder. Four unused seats surrounded him and he wore a look of panic. He jumped out of his seat, before sitting at the corner of the long table. Grandmother’s Tip number two – “Don’t try to get a f*ing reaction out of someone for your own selfish benefits. Leave me the f*** alone.” I stopped myself from doing something provocative towards Ryder as I sat down at the end of the table and focused on the teacher at the front.
“Today we have a new member of the class, so get creating!” She clapped her hands and everyone burst into chatter as they started to gather supplies. “Well little bird, you don’t mind if I call you that do you?” She asked, before taking a seat opposite me. “When someone is new, we do whatever we want, to try and show you our creative skill. You, little bird, will show us what you can do. What are you? A painter, a drawer, a designer?”
“I draw.” I murmured.
“Alright then, go ahead. You have 27 minutes to draw me something spectacular.” She smiled at me, before jumping out of her seat and turning to a group of Emos not too far away from her.
I scavenged my Dream Journal from my bag and pulled out my tray of pencils. “You better look after this. You have any idea what this cost me?” – “It’s my birthday daddy. You’re not supposed to tell me how much it costs.” – “I’m not your daddy. How many times do I have to get that through your thick skull?” I open to see them lined up perfectly.
“Excuse me, do you mind?” A voice spoke. I looked up to see a girl standing in front of me holding a bunch of comics in her hands. She nodded towards the cupboard I was sitting behind.
“Oh, yeah, sure.” I scraped the chair on the floor as I moved away from the cupboard. The girl in sweatpants and an Abercrombie and Fitch zip up thanked me as she dumped the comics into storage.
“I’m new too. Came here last week.” She said, pulling her dyed blonde hair into a ponytail. “My name is Oasis. I’ve got PTSD.” She brought out her hand and I shook it.
“Margret.” I said. “I’ve got depression apparently.”
“Apparently.” Oasis scoffed. “I like that. You look like you could do with a smoke.” I raised my eyebrow at her as I picked up one of my pencils. “Come, little bird. You don’t look like a girl that can be easily spooked by a classroom full of freaks. Meet me by the bridge at 3:45.” She walked off then, sitting at the front of the classroom.
***
“Not bad at all Miss Hardy.” Miss Little Bird said to me as she looked at my drawing of Sulley from Monsters Inc. “Unusual subject I’ll give you that.”
“Not really.” I argued, before pinching myself in the arm. “Keep your mouth shut!” “What I mean is it’s my favorite childhood movie. Monsters Inc.”
“Well, talent is surely present.” She clapped her hands and the class dissipated. “Have a nice lunch.” Then the bell rung through the corridor and into the classroom. I gathered up my stuff and pushed them into my bag before going to wash the colored charcoal off my hands. As the water splashed onto the palms, I noticed I wasn’t the only person still in the room.
Ryder sat with paint covering his face as he sat in the corner in front of a canvas.
“Ryder.” I asked. He didn’t turn to who had spoken, but carried on staring at his picture in dismay. “Hey Ryder!” I shouted. He frowned, suddenly turning to where I stood.
“How’d you know my name?” He asked his voice surprisingly soft.
“Because I’m magic.” I pinched myself again. “I – I don’t know how to get to the cafeteria.”
“So?” He asked.
“Aren’t you coming to lunch?”
“I’m on Depakote.”
“So?” I asked.
“If I want to throw up then I’ll eat. Right now, I’m fine thank you.”
“Ryder.” I spoke once more before I bit my lip.
“What?” He sounded angry now.
“I don’t know where the cafeteria is.”
“So?”
“Well, you’ve got to f*ing take me then haven’t you!” I shouted, throwing my bag to the floor. Well, it had been going well.
“Margret.” Ryder said unfazed.
“What?” I shouted.
“You’re bleeding.” I brought my hand to my lip, before feeling blood on my fingertips. I pinched myself again.
“Ryder.” I asked.
“What?”
“Please show me where the cafeteria is.”
“What If I say no?”
“Then you’re a f*ing asshat.”
“Ass hat? Never heard that one before.”
“Ryder!”
“What?”
“Take me to the cafeteria!”
“Well, seen as you asked so nicely.”