"Hey".
I looked at him. Confused. Afraid.
He was washing dishes, the usual sight. He did not hear, I assumed. Or, probably pretended not to hear.
I cleared my throat.
"Hello?", I said, sharply. Bit rude. But audible enough for all the customers at the stall to give me vexed disgusting looks.
Aftab looked up at me.
"Yes, ma'am ? ", he said.
The sun rays fell on his perfectly sculptured countenance. The broken jawline. His eyes, as if reciting some lost lore, shining. I saw myself drowing into the depths of his eyes.
I was astounded. Unmoved, I starred at him.
"Tea?", he asked, wondering if I was a customer.
"I want to talk to you. Alone", I said, soon cursing myself for mentioning 'alone'.
Damn, what was I thinking.
"Oh. Okay. Now?", he asked, concerned.
I looked at him. Did he say "okay"? Immediately, a smile shone on my face.
"Yes, no, no, wait. How about six? At the square?", I fumbled.
"Eh, sure.", he replied, bemused. Yet the smile stayed, not even fading for a moment.
"Okay.", I said and immediately left the stall lest for some reason I knew it would have been impossible for me to break through his spell and his charm, the intensity of which undoubtedly increased after what happened ten minutes back.

I arrived at the square half an hour before.
I was oldschool. I believed in waiting, the bitter-sweet effect of it thrilled me from inside. I sat on a little wooden bench. The weather was pleasant, the sweet smell of some unknown wild flower perfumed the light evening breeze which was tickling through my hair. Every soul at the square seemed so busy. So much of selling, buying and bargaining. So many voices. So many shades. I saw the shop which sold junk jewelleries at the other end of the square. It was colorful. And dazzling. I admired the hues, the matte effect of it.
The other side of the square was crowded with carpet sellers, balloon sellers, kids running everywhere, tourists and horses. I smiled within. I never really did admire such beautiful scenes ever before. They were so fresh and juvenile, I could feel the positivity around me
How dreadfully I missed my hometown, Darjeeling.
I sighed, feeling bit nostalgic.
"Mausi closed down a bit late, pardon me. I must have kept you waiting."
The moment I heard that voice, I sprang up. It was almost like a quick reflex. It was Aftab. His jejune face shone. He was beautiful, like a dream. I couldn't stop grinning.
I stood up.
"Hi. I thought you won't make it.", I said forwarding my hand towards him.
He did not respond. Rather carefully ignored the entire gesture. I did not feel bad, though. His simplicity never gave way to that.
"You wanted to talk." And after a pause, he said, "alone?"
Damn, he remembered that I mentioned "alone". I felt like a dumb impulsive cow who cannot control her tongue.
"Why on Mary's sake I blabber all the wrong things in the world?", I thought.
"Yes. Um, I'll make this very fast. Look I want to be your friend. And I want to know you. Yes I know you, but some more. Are you getting my point?", I rushed through the words.
No wonder he looked surprised. And confused.
"You are Sethji's daughter, aren't you?"
"Why does he drift from a point all the time. Sethji's daughter? Now, where did that come from?", I wondered.
"So?", I asked.
"So nothing. I was just wondering if I could manage to her level and do justice to the friendship."
I smiled.

The days passed by.
We met everyday. It was like a fairytale to me. He was full of energy, a bit animated at times, with his childlike gestures, yet so matured. I loved hearing his stories. It was unreal for me. He was a wonderful personality, he never accused his faith, rather he loved being himself.
Yes, he loved himself. And that was exactly what I loved in him.
I realized love completes you, in every way possible. It makes you see things you never have expected to see. It makes you smile even before you realize you are grinning. It makes you everything that appears weird to others. You suddenly mature. But you do. Because you are in love. So much, that sometimes you forget who you are in reality, and let cupid take its own toll in your body, mind and soul.You suddenly mature. A sudden wave of realization makes you aware that you aren't daddy's favourite princess anymore, you belong with someone else.
We travelled up and down the little hills. Saw the sunset, everyday at dusk. Saw the birds flying back to their nests. Saw the couples engrossed in love when the sun went down. We spoke of life. Future. And everything in between. We never spoke about us. There was no "us" and I loved it that way.
But, there was something I always felt was hidden deep somewhere behind that visage. Something Aftab ignored all the time, but it was killing him, slowly. And I could feel it.
I did not ask. I respected his privacy for he respected mine.

"I feel different when I'm with you. I feel nice.", he said looking at me.
It was second last day of my vacation. I decided to spend some more time with him, and I did not leave for home. It was seven. We were still there at the hill top.
"I know. I feel good too", I smiled. I felt shy for the first time.
The moment was just drowning in within me, when suddenly he spoke.
"It was the same date. Two years back from now. Abba planned a trip to Kashmir. I was super excited. I always wanted to visit Kashmir. I heard so much about her beauty. I wanted to see her. The day we reached we spend the entire time roaming about, admiring the splendid creation of God. It was insane.
On our way back to the hotel, we were stopped by a jeep. I saw some men. Our driver stepped out to see. Within a second or two, I saw one of them stabbed the driver. We were bewildered. Ammi shouted. We felt helpless. Abba immediately stepped out of the car and the moment he did he was shot dead too.
I felt my heart failing. Blood ruhed through my face. I screamed aloud. I could see Ammi faint.She could not take the shock. One of the men entered the car and pulled out Ammi. I was howling, screaming out for help. But there was no help. I held her hand tightly, but they were stronger.
Suddenly I felt a heavy blow on my head. And I don't remember anything after that. When I woke up, I was lying beside my father's corpse. There was pool of blood everywhere. Ammi wasn't there.
I sat there, still. I did not cry. I did not know what to do. I proved myself a bad son. I could not save them. I failed.", he stopped. Looked up at the sky, a silent tear rolled down his cheeks.
I sat there. I did not know how to react. I could not even imagine that he was hiding such a terrible pain inside. Who would even imagine?
"I will kill them one day. Its' not forgotten.", his tone, vindictive. This was a side I never saw in him.
I moved closer to him. I did not know what I did was wrong or right,but I just wanted to do it.
I kissed him.
I expected he won't kiss me back. He sprang up. Flushed. I felt awkward.
"I am sorry.", I said.
"You must go. Now.", his voice calm yet filled with the sternness you ought to listen.
I left immediately.
That night I couldn't sleep. I waited for the morning to break. I decided to confess my feelings to him.

Early in the morning, I ran to Mausi's tea stall. But I couldn't see him. I thought he might come later. I decided to wait.
An hour passed by. Aftab was never late for his work.
"Is it because of yesternight?", I wondered.
As I was forcing my grey cells to come with a solution, a voice came from behind.
"He left. He won't come".
I saw a boy. Ten years old maybe.
"What do you mean?", I asked, dreading to hear something I anticipated.
"He knew you would come for him. But he left. I don't know where he went. He did not tell. He asked me to give you this."
He handed me an envelope. Before I could even digest the entire thing and ask him something, he ran away.
I stood there, not knowing what to do.
I walked down the hill and reached home.
I opened the envelope and I saw letter.
I started reading it.

"You must be wondering why I did this. You deserve an answer.
The day I saw you at Mausi's stall, I was bewitched by your beauty. I saw you staring at me. I knew you were the one. But deep within, I was afriad. Who am I? Why will I ruin someone's life when my life is going down the drains.
I tried forgetting you, I failed. You were like a drug to me.
But when I started talking to you, I realized you are not just a pretty face, you are a wonderful human being. I felt attracted to you even more.
I knew it was wrong. I am not an escapist but I fear emotions. And yesterday when you kissed me, I never felt so right. But I was afraid to kiss you back. I was afraid to let go off my control. I cannot afford to do that.
I have responsibilities. I have to answer my parents' souls, and I will do justice to them. This is my fight, and I did not want to involve you.
You are too fragile. And I love that. Forever delicate.
You mean a lot. And you will forever mean a lot to me.
I will come back one day. The day I get all my answers. I will come back to you. And kiss you back.
Do not try to find me. But remember me."
Love,
The boy who washed dishes."

Ten years have passed now.
I never saw Aftab again. I do not know where is he, how is he, is he even alive. Nothing.
I left school. I decided to stay back at Darjeeling. I wanted to wait. And I am waiting, still.
It wasn’t easy. I was answerable to so many people. Especially my father. I know I had let him down with my decision. But love makes you take desperate measures in the hours of need. They still don’t know why I left school. Why I didn’t I go to Calcutta for my higher studies? Why I chose to be a primary school teacher at a missionary school at Darjeeling. The answers will be always unsaid.
I did not sacrifice for Aftab. I chose this life hoping just to get a glimpse of the perfectly sculptured face one day again. I wasn’t out of mind. I was infact, very much in my senses. Just that deep down somewhere I know my wait won’t go a waste. Each day is a step closer to the end of my wait. Each sunrise is the hope that I might see him in the tea stall, where I met him for the first time.
Believe has kept me alive. I don’t know why Aftab left that night. I don’t know who was at fault. But I believe he will answer me everything one day. I believe he hasn’t forgotten me. I believe he is making his way just to find me waiting for him for all these years. I believe my God isn’t so harsh to me.
And with that believe, I go every day to the hill top when the sun sets, where I kissed him, just with the hope of seeing him. I read the letter every single day, in the hope that one day he will come, and hold me from behind and kiss me and we will forever be together, "cradled in love."