Seven Years Later
She ran into him and spilled sweet tea all over his nice jacket. He caught her and her shopping bags all at once. At first he was confused at why she felt right in his arms; her body—so familiar. When she was done catching her breath she started to apologize profusely and overly thank him. She started to fix her hair. Looking up at how his puzzled brow rose, she stopped.
“Taggart? Cameron Taggart? What—how? Wait, I mean, uh, wow, hi, it’s great to see you again. What’s it been? Six years?”
“Well, seven years, three months, and six days, but who’s counting since when you broke my heart again?”
“To be honest for once in the dealings of you and me… I haven’t. I guess I just kind of gave up, you never really seemed to fight for us.”
“You can’t blame that on me. You’re the one who seemed to never want to try.”
“But I did! I thought it was a game! Don’t you understand that you jackass? You screwed me up. Can your tiny brain fathom that? It was so easy to get caught up in your life and who you were that I lost myself in you. I fell head over heels in love with you after Sammi threatened to hit you and you, you just grinned. It started after that first peg ride over to your house.  All the afternoons of torture, teasing and pain… just to be close to you. I never let my eyes wander off of you. Never. Now? Now I severely regret giving you so many chances.” He was about to comment , raised his hand, opened his mouth and got this gleam in his eye that she’s only ever seen once before. But before he had a chance to, someone came up behind her. He couldn’t figure out exactly where he’d seen him before, but obviously knew that this was his woman’s new beau. The other guy beamed of pure joy by seeing her. The way he used to.
“Baby! Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” she replied with a shaky smile; still coming down from the anger and adrenaline rush, “just ran into an old acquaintance. He caught me and your new gear. Thank goodness. I’m afraid my klutz genes kicked in again.”
“Well, as long as you’re okay,” he smiled and kissed her on the cheek, “but I’m afraid his jacket is ruined doll-face. Why don’t you introduce us so I can offer to buy him a new jacket?”
“He got what he deserved after all these years. Besides, you already know him. Or do you not remember how WE met?”
Feeling done of being the third party, and being talked about as if he wasn’t there. “Cameron, Cameron Taggart.” Reaching around her with his right hand extended.
“Ha-ha, yeah, hey! Now I remember! Ex-Pro hockey player. Injured your left shoulder and left patella in the finals game of ’18 (2018). Gotta say, I feel really bad that ended your career. But yes, I’m sorry for being so rude, Quinnlan Delheim.” Taking Cameron’s offered hand and shaking it; awkwardly putting HER in the middle.
Cameron panicked. This was the guy that ended his career. That’s why he looked so familiar, but vague. In that split second back then with the glass shattered in his face and the fight being a blur… the man who split his patella in two with his stick, stealing the puck as Cameron went down hard on his left side, damaging his shoulder forever. Even though the Penguins had won after that, they lost their best player due to number 43 of the Colorado Avalanche.
“Cameron? Cam! Cameron! Hello?!?!”  She started to lose her temper. “Cameron James Taggart!!!” He snapped out of his trance-induced state, looked at her. So close. He couldn’t remember how she got that way. “Is it even remotely possible for you to let go of my arm and stop dragging me away from my boyfriend?”
“What?” Looking down he realized she was right. “Oh, yes, uh, sorry.”
“Look, I’m really sorry about your jacket and all; I’ll pay for a new one. Just call me up when you want to. Or I can call you when I have the money. I’m afraid I’m a little short right now, just paying the bills and all. Your number is still the same right?”
“Uh, yeah it still is, but how about you just cook me dinner instead? Besides, I’ve needed an excuse to get rid of my ex’s gift jacket anyways.”
“Woah! Hang on there; pal; you making a move on my girl?” Quinnlan stepped forward but she put her hand out and pushed him back.
“Quinn, you can pay him off if you don’t want me to cook him a meal. But you know as well as I do that’s the only way I can.” She turns her back away from Cameron, “Also, he knows as well as you do that nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING will happen. You promised you’d trust me. Remember that.” Turning towards Cameron, “sure J.T. I’d love to pay my debt that way. You’d have to come over to my place though.”
“Same old Cutie Pie. Just like old times.”
Quinnlan stepped forward again, angrier than ever. Ready to knock Cameron out; she intervened once more, “No, nothing like old times. Tomorrow at seven. Don’t be late or you’re not getting paid back.”
“Fine by me Gorillaback.” Taggart grinned, turned and started to walk away; he felt a slight smack on the back of his head. He chuckled knowing she was in for hell tomorrow.
“What was that all about?” Quinn asked concerned.
“Past pretenses. He’s what made it so hard for you to win me over, being a hockey player and all.”
“Well it was worth the wait Sugar.” He replied with a devilish wink.
“You’re too full of yourself, I swear.” She walked past him and picked up the bags. “Now let’s go finish this packing of yours, and maybe, if you’re lucky, I can stay for a movie.”
Grinning, “I like that the best.” Seeing her walk away, “HEY! Sweetheart! Wait up!”
“Catch up then slow-poke!”
“Tyke! Come on! Seriously babe!?”
She laughed and started to run to his car. Knowing that she was being childish to the all-too-famous hockey star and reveling in it.
 

She was freaking out. It was 6:30. Cameron was going to be there in half an hour and nothing was done. Dinner was trashed already because the dog had pulled the tin-foil off the prep-counter again. Something was wrong with that bloodhound and his attraction to shiny things. Courtney could have sworn that he was a blonde in the past life. So she had to start from scratch. Since she didn’t have enough ingredients or time to make more stuffed shells, she went with stuffed bell peppers from scratch instead.  It shouldn’t have taken as long as it had, but warding off a dog that hasn’t yet had his 18:05 dinner was hard work. She panicked when she realized she wasn’t dressed. Wearing only a sports bra and sweats for cooking, she ran around frantically trying to clean up her mess in the kitchen. With a quick scoop of food and pig-fat spatter from her cooking, Bo was well fed and happy to leave her be. 6:45. Pulling out her hair-tie and checking the peppers she knew they wouldn’t be done till about 7:25. Running and jumping over the couch to her room in the large house she made record time in showering and freshening up. Pulling on her jeans at 6:55, the doorbell rang.
“Dammit, he’s early!” Bo started to wag his tail and bark. Grinning at what he thought was a fun game. Sweeping her shirt into her hand off her bed and flying down the stairs, “Coming! Just give me a second!” Courtney pulled her old Batman shirt over her head as she sprinted towards the door before Bo could blockade against their guest. Making him sit she then unlocked the deadbolt. Holding the door and keeping Bo beside her, she invited Cameron in.
“Five minutes early. Now that’s a first.”
“Well, you know me; can never sit still. Oh, wait. No- that’s you.”
“Oh, ha-ha-ha. You know my habits. Please, come on in.” She bowed dramatically and welcomed him in. Bo, the traitor, wagged his tail insistently; waiting for the word to be able to also give a happy and overly-warm welcome to the new face.
“I see you haven’t been able to give up your animals.”
“Bo, say hello.” Bo barked, got up, sat down in front of Cameron and held up his right paw for a handshake. After he shook Cameron’s hand he flopped down on his back begging for a belly rub, his tongue hanging lopsidedly. “No, it gets too quiet and lonely. I need some company to sleep with me on the bed.” She finally replied to his remark, full of spite.
“Sorry, I forgot. And I’m sorry about T.J. too.” Remembering running over her old cat the day she was moving out and he was coming home from college. Not knowing the full meaning of her words.
“Life is and life goes. Can I get you something to drink? Glass of water? A glass of wine? A beer? Milk, water?” Walking towards the kitchen. Cameron followed her and the sway of her hips in the tight skinny faded blue jeans. She always did look good in them.
“Uh, Cherry Pepsi if you have any.”
“Nope, none.”
“Mountain Dew?”
“Sorry, again, no. I don’t drink soda-pop anymore. I stopped right around senior year in high school. I’ll enjoy one every once and awhile if that’s all people have, but otherwise, I don’t.”
“Ah, a health nut I see. I’ll take a beer then if you don’t mind.”
“Okay. The only thing with that is, if you’ve have more than three, you’re staying on the couch.”
“Fine by me; dinner smells good, what is it?”
“Stuffed bell peppers with Southern style cheese jalapeños, and Southern Style Banana Pudding or Apple Pie for dessert.”
“Oh, sounds too good to be true. For a while I thought you were going to make your crab pasta shells.”
“I did. You can thank Bo for eating those. I had just taken them out, went to wash the second baking pan and the next thing I know the prepping counter was clear, the tin foil was in a ball, the shells missing, and Bomont here let out a proud burp.” Cameron pet the dog’s head, “That was a bad boy you strange bloodhound. Her crab shells are my favorite dish in the whole wide world!”  Bo just let out a bark and a grin.
“Men,” Courtney snorted under her breath while rolling her eyes. She gave Cameron his beer and told him to feel free to wander, that dinner would be ready soon. She walked to the stove to check dinner and drink from her sixth glass of water in two hours. She was NERVOUS.
 

Cameron wandered around the formal room; his beer in his hand. Photographs, paintings, mirrors, dream-catchers, and quotes covered the walls. He came across a photo that looked familiar; a silhouette of a boy against the setting sun over the Rocky Mountains. A flash of memories came over him all at once. Summers of her drawing with chalk; taunting him. Days of her in high school, asking him to be in her photo projects; him rejecting her. The flash of her at his graduation party, drawings she did of him, for him, letters of her memories and feelings towards him. And the one photo he let her take, that got her a scholarship. She had it framed before she gave it to him. He still had it too. He looked at it every day before sitting down at his desk to run numbers. He felt a cold-wet nose touch his hand, and fell back into reality. Bo licked his hand in greeting, asking for attention. Cameron set down his beer on the coffee table as he hunkered down to pet the dog.
“So you’re her one, huh Bo? You’re the only one she really lets close now?” Bo just wagged his tail, happy to be rubbed, not bothering to bark. Cameron went on, “but I guess it’s only fair, I mean, us guys are hard to trust, huh?”
“You can say that again.” Courtney said stepping from the doorjamb of the kitchen.
“Oh, uh, hey, I uh, didn’t hear you.” Patting Bo on the head and extending to his full height grabbing his beer to stand a few inches taller than her.
“Obviously. Subject change, your payment is ready.”
“Oh, ha-hah, where are we to eat?”
“In the dining room of course, unless you want to eat on the kitchen floor with the dog.”
“Ha-ha, same old Courtney. Always thinking of the obvious; lead on.” Taking a sip of his beer and challenging her with his mischievous eyes. She grinned something fierce. He knew something was up, but didn’t care to comment. Turning on her bare heel she strutted through the doorway and led on into the dining room. It. Was. Huge.
“You didn’t tell me you lived in a f*ing palace!” Cameron exclaimed in absolute awe.
“You didn’t ask. Also, being a pharmacist has its own perks.” She replied with a shrug walking back into the kitchen.
“So you did go to med school.” Still following her back into the kitchen, not daring to look around, fearing he wouldn’t get a reply.
“Yeah, and everything is paid off.” Stopping at the oven to take out the peppers and pie.
“How? It’s been what, six years?”
“Four actually.” Snidely replying as she grabbed two of her ceramic plates, “working at a hospital and working overtime is amazingly beneficial. Maybe not as beneficial as being a pro-sports player or one that got injured, but it sure as hell gives a sense of future and insurance.”
“Hey, I was complimenting you. No need to go on the defensive track with me cupcake.”
“Keep calling me pet names and I will.” She served him a jalapeño, a meaty filled pepper, rice and two bread rolls. She did the same for herself before she turned and walked into the dining room again. Setting both plates down on the table Cameron followed with cloth napkins and the silverware he found on the prep counter.
“Well, you can choose, I’ll be right back with another beer for you and my water.” Staring after her he set the almost gone beer down in front of his plate. Pulling out his chair he almost lost his seat when he saw it.
 

“So I don’t know what you’re going to think of the peppers since they’re so last minute.” She said sauntering back in with her full water glass and another full beer for him. Seeing him in a trance-like state as she reached over his shoulder, put down the beer, his silence spooked her a little.
“Cameron? Hey bub! Your food is getting cold!” Exasperated she did the only thing she could; she smacked him upside the head. “Your dinner is getting cold!” She set her water down with a cacophonous clink, splashing a little out of the glass. Taking the seat across from him; seeing her sit down, he felt sheepish, and immediately apologized.
“What’s with you?” She glared as she cut her pepper open to cool.
“I-uh-I-ah-ohm-“he started to stutter only to be interrupted,
“Really, it’s like you’re not even you. Well, you know what I mean; you seem to be lost in here… or just near me. Like in the mall, when you totally zoned out dragging me closer.”
“Sorry,” he put the cheesy jalapeño in his mouth, forgetting that when she cooked something from the south that it was beyond scorching. Finishing off his first beer he hoped his meat wouldn’t taste as hot. Courtney watched him from beneath her lashes and couldn’t help but giggle silently at how red his face had gotten.
“I guess I’m the one who should be apologizing. I just took your head off. I guess having you near makes my temper run short.” They both grinned at that one, for when they were growing up he made her temper go off any chance he got. People called her a firecracker because of it.
“No, it’s my fault. I guess. I keep freezing on you, going into another world, all without explaining.”
“Care to explain now? You did just finish off almost everything on your plate in practically five minutes.” He looked down at her accusation and saw it to be true. All that was left was his steamed rice. He couldn’t even remember tasting anything else beyond his jalapeño.
“Forgive my rudeness; I guess I was hungrier than I thought.”
“And it has absolutely nothing to do with your brain freezing?”
“It probably does. But I think in order for you to know, you ought to finish your dinner first.”
 

She slowly but surely finished her dinner as he kept pace with her in eating his rice. When she was done she looked at him with a grin, knowing that he had been staring at her the whole time. Getting up she collected both plates without a word. Cameron was left on his own to think about what he was going to say. He got up and wandered to the big, framed, memoir photograph case. His eyes wandered around, he read the note that they landed on, next to the world-renounced photograph, in-between the article and above a rock with a wilted rose on top of it:
Courtney,
I love you so much. Couldn’t have gotten here without you. You are my one and only, you believe in me when nobody else does. My life, bills, house, and heart will forever be in your debt for this photograph. I hope all those nights stay as magical to you as they are to me. Feel free to make me come to you anytime, as long as it puts a smile on your face babe. You have my love and devotion forever; beyond that.
  Love always,
   Smyle
(P.S. You’ll always be beautiful to me.)
Cameron had to set his beer bottle down on the table before the slim neck snapped in his hand. He glared at the world-famous photograph.
“More like career ending photograph,” he muttered. He let his eyes wander through the rest of the box. Now seeing the smaller prints of a familiar tall blonde and Courtney together; he saw some negatives of the Rocky Mountains too. Among the strangest things was a blue-red, ying-yang necklace with a promise ring on the chain, surrounding the pendant. Hanging. As if waiting to be put on again. Reaching to trace the ring below the glass with his finger, he heard a dangerous clamber behind him; he jumped.
“I usually don’t mind people looking at my things, but when it comes to the box that holds my relationship with Ryan in it… It’s damn near sacred.”
Cameron sneered, “Even your precious boy toy can’t look?”
“No. Quinnlan isn’t allowed to go near that damn box.” Cameron looked at her, astonished.
“Why? What’s so fucking important besides old memories and a photograph that shows the end of my career!?” 
“Ryan asked me to marry him after he made the print for the press! He took me in his private dark-room and proposed, dammit!” Cameron was startled beyond belief, “I-I, I-“
“You, what?” She asked barely above a whisper, flames of anger radiated from her rich chocolate eyes. Cameron looked back again at the ring, feeling stupid realizing it was an engagement ring. Not a promise ring. Looking back at Courtney and just barely saw her lip quiver as she smiled a brilliantly brave smile.
“I guess I’m an ass. What happened after?” He sat down and watched Courtney grip and un-grip the back of the chair she was standing behind.
“I said yes, it was one of the happiest moments in my life.” She stared at the glass, full of a lifetime past. Like his past coming to haunt him when she was near, his question brought back memories and ghosts that had never left her.
“We went to visit you in the hospital, believe it or not. He knew about our past, our history; everything. But despite everything, he wanted your permission first. To release the photograph and let you keep the original negative.
The nurse let us in for ten minutes. You were out cold. I tried everything to wake you; called your name, tapped your face, got your head a cool cloth; nothing. Your head coach walked into the visitors’ room, after we talked to him a bit he allowed us to release the photograph. Ryan got his big break soon thereafter.” She turned around and grabbed the desert plates from the cabinet in the kitchen; calming down, just a little.
“Just after a big trip to Canada to promote his gallery, we went camping together. It was about three in the morning when we left to hike up the face of the mountain to capture the sunrise. When we were at the top of Pike’s Peak, he pledged himself to me. Beyond life or death; a certain early vows- if you will. The picture in the right-hand corner is the kiss after I pledged my early vows to him. We were two months away from the wedding.” She turned dead silent, Cameron looked at the photograph in the corner; larger than the others, smaller than the career print. Two people, madly in love; sunrise beyond them and nothing else seemed to matter. He turned and saw her come back with a little white box. Unlocking it with an odd-shaped key, she showed him the precious letters and more prints. Ones too close to the truth to be put out as a reminder.
“We had already planned it out: five kids, two dogs, and a lifetime of happiness. Not caring where we lived. After the shoot that morning we ran across a military camp; training for the battle of Soxion Cressu. Of course, they didn’t know they were training for that at the time, only that they were preparing for ‘Whinnies’ War.’ Marines, every last one of them. Testerman turned out to be the Captain of the squadron; he recognized Smyle and me right off the bat. Although he was curious as to what we were doing together. I just kissed him on the cheek, and told him he was silly not to know after 9 months. He turned blue in the face that he hadn’t known. We cordially invited him to the wedding on the spot. Ryan took a picture of us all together, Christian still a little red from embarrassment; which his men give him a hard time for every chance they get.  But it was worth it. In his tent he gave us permission to explore and take some more photographs. Wandering around as Ryan shot the men in training I found Aislyn. She was going into labor shocks. None of the men knew what to do, let alone that she was pregnant; so I told them what she needed and how to set it up while I eased her shocks. She delivered a beautiful batch of four baby bloodhounds. Two boys and two girls, Christian unbelievably thankful for saving his precious Aislyn let me keep one. Bomont here was the runt of the litter, I chose him instantly. I’ve seen his family and Christian many times since; they always help me through.
Excitement was in the air and Ryan captured it all. Who knew that he would have the photographs of that day published? I sure as hell didn’t.”  Cameron looked down at her hands; clasping, unclasping, pulling her palm, twisting a familiar-looking ring. Moving next to her, he took her hands. She broke down and cried into his shirt, he held her; like he never had before. Cameron knew this was his defining moment. He pulled her closer and into his lap. She didn’t notice. Kissing her head and then putting his head in the crook of her neck.
“What? Huh? The HELL?” Disoriented and confused she pulled away from him onto the floor with a solid ‘Smack.’ Bomont came over ready to kiss her better if asked.
“I’m sorry; I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“No! I just needed to collect myself! Now I’m sorry for crying all over you, but this is a scab that’s never quite healed.”
“How?”
“You won’t understand.”
“Then make me, dammit! You’re dating the very person who ended my career for f***’s sake! Oh, and you were engaged to the photographer who publicized it!” He was pissed. Standing over her, like he used to do when they were kids; big, tall, imposing, angry… but kind. She sat there, thinking. It was silent except for Bo’s panting.
“How many beers have you had Cameron?” Her instincts kicking in, talking in barely above a whisper, ready to flee if needed.
“Almost two, why?”
“How long ago was your second shoulder surgery?”
“Three months ago. WHY!? I don’t see a point in all these stupid ques--” he broke off when she reached into his jeans pocket and took his keys. Startled, “What the f***?!” He watched as she told Bo to go hide them for a game. “I’ve only had two f*ing beers! But now you’re taking away my keys as if I’ve had three.”

“I thought you wanted to understand.” She got up and walked away, deadly quiet. She started running the hot water for washing the dishes. He came up behind her and shut it off. He wrapped his arms around her, spinning her around and trapping her against the sink with his steely-arms. Feeling her resentment.
“Then make me understand,” calm, composed, but not quite collected all the way, “I would also like to know where your damn Marine bloodhound took my keys.” She looked down at the very satisfied dog, who was grinning and expecting another treat of pig-fat spatter. She shied away from Cameron, back to him ready to do the dishes. Turning her once more when the doorbell rang with several loud rasps on the door.
“Let me go, and don’t you dare touch me again.” She stared him down. He didn’t want to, but he did let her go. She vaulted herself past him out of the kitchen to the door; Bo lapping after her heals. Flinging the door open wide she was shocked to see Christian standing there; seeing as how Whinnies’ War had ended only a month ago.
“Oh my freaking gosh! No way! Freaking come in!” He laughed at her opening the screen door and bringing her into his large-muscular arms.
“Hey there little girl! Thought I’d surprise you.” He said as he pulled back and kissed her cheek. She grinned ear to ear and kissed him back on both cheeks. Hugging him close Bo barked wildly. “Ha-ha pretty girl, I think you oughtta let me go see my nephew.” He hunkered his frame down to pet the impatient dog.
“Court, who’s there?” Cameron came out of the kitchen, wiping his hand on his shirt as if he had just washed the dishes.
“Oh, sorry there babe.” Recognizing Cameron as an old friend and ex-pro hockey player, “I didn’t realize that you uh, had company. Aren’t you dating that douche-bag-hockey player Delheim though?” Christian smugly asked.
“Yes, and Cameron was just leaving. I owed him dinner, and chose to get it over with after Quinn left town this morning for the next game. And be careful what you say, I might just be in love with Quinnlan.” She ‘humphed’ while motioning for Bo to retrieve Cameron’s hidden keys.
Christian guffawed at that statement, his raucous laughter echoing through the very empty rooms of the ranch. “Baby girl, you and I both know that after all you’ve been through, you couldn’t possibly love anyone else that way.”
“I KNEW IT!” Cameron outburst, making Courtney jump and look at his malicious glare, “the whole Smyle thing is a lie and you just put it up there to torture me! And you said you loved Quinn in the mall when it’s still blatantly obvious that you’re still in love with me!” Courtney turned bright red with fury, Testerman stepped in front of her, “Woah there buddy; I was only teasing her. I’ve known her for a damn long time. Whatever she showed you intentionally or unintentionally pal, you can take it easy. Her engagement to Ryan was unbelievably real. You’ve never seen two kids more in love. Despite everything that tried keeping them apart. Ryan was perfect for her, hell; he still is perfect for her. Especially since they launched his career together.” Before Christian could continue, Cameron erupted; “He publicized mine and ruined it to the point that the NHL will never let me play again! And SHE,” pointing to Courtney, who was now seated on the couch with her bloodhound, “is now dating the guy who fucking ended my career!”
Christian looked at Courtney, she shrugged and grinned; he knew what she was up to, and he loved her all the more for it. Ryan would be proud.
“Am I too late for dinner?” He pondered allowed, still grinning like a buffoon.
“No, we just finished eating. I’ll make you a plate. The peppers should still be warm, that is, if Bomont here didn’t get to them like he did my shells.”
“Ha-ha! Thatta boy Bo! Way to eat all the nasty crabs so I don’t have to!” He beamed teasingly at Bo and Courtney.
“The shells weren’t for you. She was cooking them for me; as you said yourself, you weren’t expected.” Cameron tried to glare him down, to no avail. Christian remained calm, composed, smiling. This infuriated Cameron even more. Turning around and storming into the kitchen he came up behind Courtney and started to follow her as she made a plate full of food.
“You can’t be serious about letting him stay!”
“Dead serious. Also he lives here part time when he’s not deployed and doesn’t feel like going home. Now it’s been about an hour since your last beer. I do believe it is safe for me to call you a cab so you can go home and rest.” Her back turned to him as she set down the plate to grab some silverware and another cloth napkin.
“Hey Corp!” Christian yelled from the formal room, opening the door for some odd reason, “You better make two plates of your wonderful cooking!”
“Fine, who’s going to eat my second plate?” Reaching up to the cabinet for her last clean plate. She felt arms wrap around her. Not even thinking she snapped, “Cameron! I told you not to f*ing touch me!” Cameron appeared beside her, his face a pale green, looking as if he’d seen the very face of death haunting him. She felt a wisp of air by her now exposed ear and nape, a hand holding her curls; feeling the soft kiss placed in the hollow behind her ear. She held her breath. She knew only one person in her life that ever dared that; his family told her that he had died, and has been dead for almost a year to the day. Afraid to be hopeful she let out her breath.
“Ryan?” Shakily.
“I’m home princess; finally home.”
She fainted.
 

She heard someone calling her name. Someone was holding her hand, another person holding her relaxed against his chest, propping her up in his lap. She couldn’t remember how she got on the couch. She could remember everything before that though. Moaning and moving a bit she felt both people holding her sigh in relief. She slowly opened her eyes, afraid everything was just a dream; that she’d been asleep forever. Looking up, she saw him. Courtney couldn’t help herself. She wept; all while taking his face in her hands. His beautiful, familiar, and yet unshaven face.
“What the hell took you so long to hold me?” She teased through her tears.
“I’m sorry baby; I didn’t think you were expecting me.”
“Dammit Ryan!” She started to sit up in his lap, he relaxed his grip on her waist so she could, “Your mother told me you were dead!”
“Mom wanted you to move on. She didn’t want you waiting on a dead man.”
“I still did.” She beamed at him, “But what exactly did the hospital and your mother send me to bury?”
“Logs.” He broke out in his million dollar smile. She couldn’t help but grin too. Pulling his head closer to hers she kissed him again. Deeply, passionately, lovingly. Cameron tried to interrupt, “Um, excuse me. This is supposed to be my date. Anyone care to explain to me what is going on here?” Christian smirked as he walked past Cameron and answered his phone, going out through the laundry room on the other side of the house. Before Cameron could do or say anything else, Bo came back with his keys and dropped them at his feet. Cameron refused to leave yet, he found a pen and pad before he walked out:
Court,
    I don’t know or understand. What’s going on? Aren’t you dating Quinn? How the hell is Smyle alive? We need to talk. Immediately. Call me,
  Cameron.
He signed his name, put the pad down in the key bowl, leaving his keys on the table, opened the door, walked out and slammed it behind him. Breaking out of their trance from the clamber of the door, Courtney let one last tear slip and Ryan kisses it away.
“But, I don’t understand, how?” Her face turned to its puzzled scrunch and his familiar face grinned once again; kissing away the pain he saw in her eyes. Knowing the conversation ahead was going to be hard, on the both of them.
“How about I tell you over dinner?”
“Sure, your plate is already made, let’s go into the dining room, and maybe Christian can fill me in on how he found you and why he didn’t tell me.”
“That sounds good to me Kermia.” He lifted her off his lap as they both heard the kitchen door open and shut, signaling Christian’s entrance back into the house; but Ryan still didn’t let her go as he followed her off the couch.
“When was the last time you danced Whirlwind?”
“Well, that’s a rather odd question. But I guess it was right before your “death”.”
“Well then M’lady. May I have this dance?? He bowed dramatically, holding out his hand, and beamed up at her from how low he bent over at the waist. She laughed as he took her hand and waltzed her into the kitchen. Letting her go she grabbed his and Christian’s plates, spinning around and dancing solo into the dining room to set the pates at the table; laughing again as she left him in her wake.  Ryan’s body followed closely, so long deprived of her; her body, her supple curves, her sweetness; her. Walking into her dining room he froze—almost like Cameron had. He felt his tall frame halt immediately in the doorway, suspended in time. Christian really hadn’t lied to him; she did still care to love him and hadn’t moved on despite what his intel had told him. She held on, against all odds, after a year, and despite what she had been put through. Christian had informed her on the plot against Cameron, against Quinn, and ultimately trying to preserve herself; Christian came in behind him and slapped him on the shoulder, grasping him.
Whispering, “I told you man, never underestimate her; you’re her chance for hope.”
 

“AFTER A YEAR?!?!” He started to raise his voice again, not knowing what else to do.
“Yes. Even after a year.” She turned her back to him, “I only appeared to move on was because your mother started to check in on me more.” Turning back to him, “She doesn’t know, does she?” in a dead whisper’ Ryan turned worried, usually she was yelling right along with him, (due to her short temper). She was beyond pissed; she was absolutely lethal.
“No,” he looked down at the dog, “no, she doesn’t.”
“Why?” She walked up to him, took his hand, kissed his palm, leaned into his chest, looked up into his eyes and waited. Kissing his cheek she let go of his hand and started to turn. Feeling a tug on her wrist, she stopped.
“Stay. Please. You need answers, and I need you. In all honesty, I don’t know why my temper flared; it’s sweet at what you’ve done. You have every right to hate me, but please, let me be with you tonight. Just give me one night, to explain and answer all the questions that you have.” She looked into his eyes, more relaxed now than she had been since he disappeared. Below the open window Cameron cursed, having stuck around realizing he couldn’t drive. Staying close to the house in hopes that she’d throw Ryan out along with Christian, so he himself could play shoulder-to-cry-on hero. But still, they stayed. After he heard the long silence, he was sure that Ryan and Courtney were done when a sudden threatening clearing of a throat behind him startled him.
“Why didn’t you leave you worm?” Christian crossed his arms and effectively blocked Cameron’s path.
“I-uh-I-I-“he stuttered and stalled.
“Time’s up. Let’s go.” Christian started to walk towards him; Cameron dodged him, skidded and ran towards the cab he saw passing on the street. Flagging it down Cameron hopped in and slammed the door ensuing it to speed away. Christian chuckled; he turned his head as he heard Courtney’s deadly whispers from inside the window. Christian knew the argument going on and tried to avoid it by going through the door behind the garage into the mud room. He walked to his room as quietly as possible; reaching it he cracked it open and turned on the dim lamp.
“Ah, home.” Kicking off his boots he prayed Courtney would last the night through Ryan’s damn explanations. It was a miracle that he had even been found and had survived the last blast of bombs over that wall. Christian heard a loud clonk from across the house. Oh great, she’s throwing things again; he thought as he stripped down and found that Courtney still did his laundry pulling out a shirt to sleep in. He heard Ryan laugh; Christian sighed as he finished brushing his teeth and turned out the light. He climbed under his sheets and hoped that Ryan would do what’s right.
 

“You’re an ass Ryan!” She muttered as the dishes were being done. He laughed at her again.
“You know you love me.”
“I may or may not. A year is a long time.”
“Come on baby, I’m only asking you if you still do.”
“Fine! I do! You happy?” She turned off the sink and snapped the soap drawer shut; “But it still doesn’t solve the damn problem that you were dead and I was damn near it after I heard!” She walked away shaking in anger and adrenaline. Ryan caught her arm, “Wait. Please. Just let me explain.”
Courtney snapped. “No! You let me explain to you, and you listen!” He was astonished at how close she had just become; he could smell the coconut milk in her hair. He felt her strong artistic finger stab at his chest, “I waited for three damn months in that hospital by your bedside! I read you letters from your editors, read you stories, and got you cool cloths for your forehead… all just waiting for you to wake up, look at me with your blue eyes and say, ‘hey baby, don’t cry, I’m here, alive, you’re okay; we’re going to be fine.’ But no! I come back from work one evening and find your mother there! She told me you were dead! She sent a letter later that week saying that I should move on but she would still be here, like family. And since then every three months she’s called to check in on me; but last week was her fourth call in two weeks. She told me to get out of the house with Quinnlan and do something because he’s a good guy and she thinks I need one after you. But now, after almost a year of being dead, you come back here and tell me I love you and that you still love me? How could you? I mean, how did you even survive; or is it just me losing my mind and I’m in a never ending dream?”
Ryan, seeing her distress over his return, pulled her close; he kissed her hair, rested his head on hers before continuing his kisses down her face towards her lips. She wasn’t expecting the final result of that binding kiss. All her anger and pain seemed to dissipate. She melted a little bit and felt the walls that had built up start to crumble. But not quite, she ended the kiss and looked at him in shock; she needed answers.
As if reading her mind he started with, “I did it for your safety since you had nothing to do with it. I did it for our country, our future; I did it for us.” He was reluctant to release his grip on her, knowing that after he explained everything, he was going to lose her, and everything he loved would disappear once more. Sensing his hesitation to expound anything else she sighed and turned away from his grasp, leaning against the sink for support and just waiting.
“The pictures of the camp that I published when we ran into Christian hiking had top secret information in them. The government thought I was trying to sell trade secrets for a price. Once the government heard of the accident with your neighbor being drunk, they figured it was a perfect opportunity to draft me; of course, this was after they had arrested me. I woke up in the hospital, many times. Each time you were asleep. Two days before you got the news of my supposed death Christian was there with you. Again, you were asleep and he was trying to get you up to say your good-byes. His face turned really grim when I told him to let you be and asked why he wanted to make you say good-bye. His only response was that two men from the military were coming to arrest me as soon as you left for work in the morning. Christian explained that the government thought I had committed treason within the photographs. Although he knew I didn’t, the men had other plans.
After he made you leave the next morning as sure as he said, two men came in and arrested me. I was drafted after the court heard my reasons and put me on a special training course as an intelligence officer due to my photographic skills. And the war’s end last month?” He asked tipping her chin up with his long finger, looking into the deep brown of her eyes, “that was hell because I was still trapped, and couldn’t get back to you. But all this waiting, this waiting was worth it.”
“But you were DEAD! For a whole damn year. Do you not realize this?”
“Oh baby.” He sighed.
“Don’t you ‘Oh baby” me. I had hoped at first, and I can’t deny it, I still love you. But how do I know you’re still the man I fell in love with?”
“Give me three days to prove it to you. And if I’m not, then I’m gone.”
“And if you are?” She looked at him with veiled hop in her eyes, moving past the pain and betrayal she felt from the shock and hurt she’d discovered.
“Can we plan our wedding again? For real this time?” His eyes were sincere as his long-fingered-artistic hand slid along her jawline to have his fingertips in her curls and his palm cupping her soft cheek. His unshaven face ready to accept any answer he got from her. Hope was spewing through his own pain of living without his fix of her for so long.
She lifted her own hand up, traced his rough-strewn beard with her soft fingertips. Watching in awe of how his eyes followed her hand, in shock that this normally well-shaven-to-the-very-last detail face could have grown so unkempt, and dangerous looking… but make her wonder about him all over again, knowing that no matter what, she was safe. The suffering that both of them felt with that moment was palatable, ‘Why suffer more?’ her mind asked, unsure of itself for the first time in a long time.
“Okay, I have an extra bedroom already set up. Everything you need should be in there, you can thank Noah later. Goodnight Ryan.” After that she turned on her heel, clicked her tongue and walked away, Bo scrambled after to crawl into his bed. Ryan sighed; it was a mixture of relief, resignation and a dash of hope.
“Goodnight my Kerima.” He whispered into the night hoping she’d hear and change her mind about the sleeping arrangements. Knowing that no matter what, she wasn’t sleeping alone tonight.
 

She felt a dip in the bed. It was around one by the time she was able to sleep. Feeling heat coming closer to her skin, she figured Bo had come on the bed again; and she was fine with it. She drifted back into her sated slumber; unknowingly turning into Ryan’s waiting arms.
* * * *
He tucked her hair behind her ear. Feeling how she tried to move closer to him. He had missed this. He missed her. She kissed his bare chest and mumbled an “I love you.” Ryan knew she was doing it subconsciously, but it was what he had wanted to hear from her since he walked in. The feeling of being home with her; she had missed him; he knew it without a doubt. Kissing her forehead, he pulled her closer in his arms against his bare chest. Just like he used to. Wrapping his arms around her half bare back -- running his fingertips up and down the exposed part of her spine. He fell asleep peacefully that night.
 

She woke up at Bo kissing her face, panting his exhilarated morning breath and asking for breakfast. She opened her eyes, still feeling heat at her back. Looking down -- half expecting Noah’s teddy bear presence; she saw the long-fingered sleek hand resting just below her sports bra, a thumb hooked under it, in-between the valley of her breasts. Looking further down, she could see and feel his other long arm wrapped around her waist, Ryan’s long fingers had glided under her waistband. Courtney knew that this was Ryan’s natural instinct around her. Pure, and honest, just like him. It was all the response she needed to know about how he was still himself, that he still wanted her. She got that evil gleam in her eye that she gets when she’s planning on making trouble. ‘Oh,’ she thought, she was going to have fun with this new task.

Ryan felt her moving. He tightened his grip on her; not wanting to let go and starting the day off with begging for forgiveness for this misdeed he’s done, back on his knees, pleading for her acceptance. Her retaliation was not expected. After Ryan’s grip tightened on Courtney, she slowly but surely reached around, finding the waistband of his too-loose- borrowed sweatpants. She was barely able to suppress the evil giggle she felt in her throat. She pinched the soft skin near his hip-bone; scathingly. Like how Nick taught her. Ryan yelped in pain, letting her go.

“Dammit Courtney!” He yelled, catching her hands before she could roll out of bed.

“Hey, I’m not the one sneaking into other people’s beds.” His bare chest was as distraction to her; she scooted away as he let go again to process what words would be appropriate to respond.

“I can’t sleep alone. Not with you just down a flight of stairs.” He saw her scooting away, and rolled on top of her, “I’m never sleeping alone again. Never. I can’t sleep without you. This past year has been my personal living hell.” Still on top of her, his newfound muscle weight pinning her to the bed, she quit fighting and went still. Running her hands along the firm lines of his chest, dropping a flick along his collarbone, bringing Ryan’s arms to become weaker, to tremble at the thought that he was holding her again; saying good morning with a tenderness that hadn’t been there in the past. Courtney distracted him by pulling him as if she was going to kiss him, but overpowered him and rolled him over. She pinched his other collarbone hard again and jumped out of the bed. Making sure to stay out of Ryan’s reach. He jumped on the bed to reach for her, flopping on his stomach he rolled over and got up to chase after her.

She squealed in delight, causing Bo to bark with all the excitement his body could muster. Courtney ran out of the room and collided with Christian.

“Move man! Can’t you see he’s after me!?”

“Woah there sweet cakes, take a breath,” he was silently laughing at her, knowing full well of what he was doing. They heard Ryan catching up with Bo clambering down the slick hall, Courtney nudged the unmoving Christian who took her arm and hid her in her very own linen closet. Courtney cringed at the thought of what was about to be said. Hearing a skid on her wood floors, she knew Bomont was trying to make a stop, and fast; so as not to hit Christian. She heard him land with a thud against the secret door next to hers. The sound of Ryan’s laughter was almost contagious. Courtney silently chuckled at the scene ahead.

“Dude, where’d she go?” Ryan feigned not knowing, seeing Bo trying to stick his nose under the crack of the door, but distracted by the smell of food coming from across the house.

“Nope, no knowledge of Court. No Court around here. But I just came from your borrowed room and didn’t find it occupied either,” Courtney strained against the door to the confrontation, “ mind telling me why the bed is still pristine and you’re coming out of her room with her ever-devoted bloodhound?”

Ryan cracked a grin, “even you know the answer to that.”

“I suppose, I do.” He said while thinking of how Noah helped her get through the long nights that she couldn’t sleep, letting her sleep on his chest. “What did she do to show her disappointment at you not using Noah’s room?” Ryan in response pulled down the waistband of his sweats and boxers, exposing the black welting bruise Courtney had left on his skin from her retaliation towards Ryan’s sleeping with her. “Ouch man, I haven’t had one of those since the last time I cheated at poker!”

“Yeah dude. Hey, something smells really good. Who and what’s cooking?”

“I’m cooking, and it’s an egg-omelet bake. One of Courtney’s ‘Roxie Recipes’ from the south -– minus the spicy in my version.”

“Sounds great, I’m starving.” Courtney heard the men’s voices fade and Bo’s scratching on the door. Cracking it, she slowly exited the linen closet.

“Well then, come on Bo; let’s go check on the crazy pig.” They both went out the laundry room door down the hall.
* * * * * *
Ryan was hoping to catch Courtney, returning to the closet. He opened the door two minutes after walking back through the house, only to find it empty. He could now hear Christian laughing his ass off at something Courtney said in the kitchen while she fed Bo. Damn, she had snuck past him.

Walking into the dining room Christian could feel the tension and frustration radiating from Ryan as Courtney set the table. She wasn’t going to let up on her game. It was pure evil. The poor fool, he did have a chance. Too bad Christian promised not to tell of her plan and the other plan that she’d been working on for the last four months. Courtney was smiling; her cheeks were glowing with radiance that no woman or man had seen before. Something was up. Putting the egg bake down, Christian went back to the kitchen to raid the drawers for the serving spatula.

“Looking for this?” Courtney asked coming from the prep counter, how she got there, Christian had not a clue.

“Yeah, hah, don’t know how I missed it.” He grabbed her hand covering the spatula in his vise-grip, whispering in her ear, “I also would like to know what you’re up to, you’ve both suffered enough, don’t you think? And you have something you’re hiding from everyone. Kerima, come on, what are you doing?”

“Well,” she started; he just looked at her waiting for the right words to come out of her mouth. “I can’t really talk about it right now; I’ll drop a hint or two, but please, let it go.” She let the spatula go as his grip moved off her hand and watched his face twist in confusion over her explanation. Ryan when she walked back thought she was still angry with him for his sneaking around in the night. Ryan pulled out Courtney’s chair and was waiting to help her be seated, her heart melted a little more towards him. Her resilience would not hold forever against this man, it never really has, against any of them. She was scared now. Taking his seat across from her, Ryan gazed at her as if nothing had changed and he hadn’t been gone for a year. Hearing cursing coming from his left he watched as Courtney laughed when she saw Christian mopping up his lap from spilt orange juice and Bo licking it off the floor. Ryan never wanted to let her go.

Courtney looked in the mirror once again. She cursed under her breath.

“Love is a damn fool’s thing. What have I gotten myself into?” She threw the box into the trash and locked the door, her heart racing and skipping a little more.

Ryan examined his scruff in the mirror. Pulling the shaving cream and razor that had appeared on the sink of his temporary guest room, he mentally prepared himself to off the beard that had taken a year of no shaving to grow. He chuckled at the childish thoughts of running around naked with only his beard and socks on; fully knowing that Courtney would nail his butt to the stall outside with handcuffs and only hay to try and keep warm. Unbeknownst to him, she was laughing and observing him all the while he thought aloud. Ryan lathered his face, running the sink he started to scrape away the burden on his jaw. Stroke after stroke, his firm jawline appeared again.

Courtney held her breath as she watched him, knowing that he was doing this because he thought this is how she liked him best. Truth is, she didn’t care, as long as he was there. To her, nothing mattered beyond that concerning him. Clutching a pillow to her chest, she let her breath out as he splashed the water on his face, finalizing the shave.

Ryan turned off the faucet and patted his face dry with the smaller towel laid out for him. Tapping off the switch to the vanity mirror in the bathroom, he walked out and saw Courtney sitting there, pillow and all on the bed.

“Now who’s the one sneaking into other’s beds watching them, hmmm?” He teased.

“Fine, you won’t hear what I have to say then.” She humphed, threw the pillow back into the chair across the room and was ready to stomp out. Opening the door when Ryan caught her waist and kissed her hair.

“No, I’m sorry. Why, or what do you need to tell me?” He put his head against hers. She couldn’t tell him all of it. But she could tell him a good portion of it. She turned in his arms and kissed his shoulder, not daring to look him in the eye. She was shaking, “I do love you. I swear I do. No matter what happens.” She dug in her pocket and came up with his pooka-shell necklace that she was never without.

“Will you Ryan, be willing to put up with me in these coming days, no matter what happens or what path each of us takes?” She finally looked up at him with her dark eyes, golden in the sunlight streaming through the room. She grabbed his hand and gave him back his necklace, close to tears in the deafening silence. His hand closed around hers while his other hand brushed her hair falling onto her cheek.

“Are you sure you want this?” His eyes grew wide in her new attitude towards him.

“Positive. I can’t wait forever, and neither can you. I know how much this last year has been a hell for both of us, and I need someone. I don’t think Noah will put up with my tears forever.”

“I need you too baby. But, why don’t we wait another day? See if you feel the same way tomorrow.” His kiss on her forehead hurt like a sting from a bee. He gave her his dog-tags as he took his pooka-shell necklace back.

“Fine.” Her voice turned to ice after the shutdown.

“What’s wrong now?” He lifted her defiant chin; she couldn’t look him in the eye. His shutdown hurt, only because she didn’t know what dinner was really about tonight. She thought it was just a celebration of his return. But it was oh so much more than that.

“Nothing.” That was a lie, and she knew it. Everything was turning on her. She no longer had control or the upper hand.

“Why don’t we head downstairs then?” Ryan asked, kissing her cheek and smirking.

“Fine by me,” she took off out the door, his arm span was long though and he was able to grab her left hand before she left him in the dust, she side hugged him knowing that something of his own invention was coming. She smiled a little at the thought.

The three of them spent the day catching up. Along with the details of her life came Christian’s filling her in on his deployment for the last six months and the mission that lead to him stumbling upon Ryan in the enemy’s prison. Ryan told her what the past year was like and how he became an official prisoner of war after his departure plane crashed behind borders.
Courtney couldn’t stop smiling while sitting in her chair drinking Ryan’s special steeped tea. Something only he knew how to do right. There was a text that beeped across her phone, and she grinned even more putting it back on the table. She had the look in her eyes that was a whole different feeling and person than what Christian had seen the past year. Even with Noah around, or when she started to see Quinn. Christian laughed seeing the look, the mirth was contagious. Tonight was going to knock her off her feet. Ryan, even against Christian’s insistence of not delaying getting to Courtney had made them stop at his grandmother’s. The stall was worth it though after seeing the ring he picked up. Courtney’s phone buzzed with an alert to open the driveway gate.
Christian became tense and Ryan froze. Courtney jumped up to get the side door as there was a knock at it. She saw Cameron’s keys and his note though in the empty snack bowl leading to the garage. She read it and became slightly annoyed as she read it again. She stuck the note in her pocket and left the keys in the bowl. Another knock sounded on the door, she opened it to see that Quinn was standing there; he was expecting a warm welcome and was confused as to why her drive was locked. All Courtney did was laugh when she opened the door seeing the look on his face. Quinn attempted to get a hug when Courtney dodged him and teasingly yelped. Ryan came in behind her in the communal entry-way while Christian also laughed at Quinn.
Quinn, looking angrier than any hockey player ever should be started to look past the arm holding the girl he thought was his. Seeing her not wanting his own advances, he became even angrier; and for the first time in his life, Quinnlan hit a woman. Christian was on him instantly. Courtney was holding Ryan back to prevent him from getting bloodied and for support.
“Wait! Stop!” Quinn was yelling at the Marine, but it was too late, “I don’t know what came over me!” Quinn couldn’t stop yelling as his anger was fluctuating, and Christian wouldn’t stop hitting him where he knew it would hurt both in the now and later when Quinn thought he was healed. Courtney felt a bit better and had Ryan let go of her feeling annoyed. She turned away on her heel from the scene. She came back two minutes later with Bomont and a bucket of ice. Courtney dumped it on Quinn who had gotten the upper hand advantage that any hockey player looks for, especially against the Marine.
Ryan was itching to hit the bastard himself. But he smirked as soon as he saw what Courtney was doing.
“ENOUGH! Both of you!” She was shouting over the still tumbling ice. Ryan stepped forward, Courtney glared and pointed at him with the bucket, “that goes for you too mister.” Bo scrambled to pick up the ice and carry it to the bucket where he kept his toys and bones, hoping to find it all later.
“You told me he was dead you bitch!” Quinn accused wiping the stream of blood from his lip and broken skin on his cheek bone onto his hands, standing up. Courtney turned mad and raised the bucket ready to smack him herself. Christian from the floor sent a blow to the back of Quinn’s knee with his foot given the advantage that he had stood up and left Christian lying there. Quinn went down on the one knee with a grunt and a sharp curse on his lips.
“Officially you scum-wad? I was. I was declared dead in the US by the government and a prisoner of war for the last seven months. She didn’t know until last night.” Ryan was starting to lose his temper.
“You lie.” Venom was coming out of his words as his eyes turned to an emerald green while his body continued to bleed and drip from his face onto his t-shirt.
“Ugh, come on into the extension and let’s get you cleaned up Quinn. I don’t want your blood all over my clean floor.” Walking to the north side of the house where he usually decided to sleep if he ever spent the night. Christian smirked as Quinn rolled his eyes and turned his back. Christian had escaped with a darkly bruised cheekbone and bruised knuckles with Quinnlan’s blood.
“You got the sonofabitch good man, you really got him good.” Ryan tried to whisper to Christian. He saw Courtney out of the corner of his eye tense up. ‘Awe hell.” He thought.
“I heard that honey-darlin’ you’ll be next on the beating list if you keep it up.” After that, she kept walking, taking Quinn’s hand and locking them two halls down in the new wing’s bathroom.
* * * * * *
“I don’t f*ing get it, or you for that matter Courtney.” Quinn said as he once again dodged her ministrations to the laceration on his cheek. Looking at her hard with his long-lashed glare that he was so blessed to have.
“I did tell you that if there ever was a chance of Ryan coming back to me that I would stop everything just to be with him. Now he’s back, why can’t you just be happy for me? It’s not like we are, an actual thing that was happening,” she commented as she finally got the butterfly bandage on the gushing cut. He grabbed her wrists, almost violently and took her soft hands away from his face.
“That hurt.” His steely voice was menacing to the last syllable, referring to her words more than the sealing of his wound.
“You know how I feel about you, how does that hurt? Besides you, Noah and Christian are the only ones that know about, well, everything.”
“Yeah, I know.” He pulled her down to his eye level with his hand still wrapped around her wrist, encircling it, “I know how sick and twisted you are; leading guys on and all that.”
“I’ve never led you on. I’ve been honest to a fault with you from the start Quinnlan.” Quinn seeing the note sticking out from her back pocket grabbed it with his free hand.
“What about this Courtney?” He glared, “something must have gone on last night between you and your childhood flame? He’s your first love, so don’t you dare deny that the flames or sparks or whatever the hell you call it weren’t there.”
“Some were, but not as many as I have with Ryan. And Cameron is my friend now above all else, and he’s invited to the dinner tonight; you aren’t anymore.” She humphed and broke his grip, pushing him through the door. She kissed his beaten cheek as he was about to depart, he just glared at her; then turned it upon the men at her back. Turning his own he walked out, slamming the door closed.
“Good God, I thought he’s never leave!” Christian exclaimed.
“I know you hated him, but let’s get over it now, yes?”
“Kind of hard to princess, when your face looks like a ripe batch of mixed cherries; all black and red like that,” Ryan whispered as he gently touched the spot on her jawline that had been hit and leaned down to brush it just barely with his lips.
“Well, I’m off to take my shower…” Christian backed away slowly, knowing no one heard him.
The doorbell rang for the front of the house; Courtney smiled as she grabbed Ryan’s hand to walk towards it. Answering the door, Cameron stood, flowers in hand at the ready in a pressed shirt, tie, and pleated pants. He’d even cut his curls short that he’d been sporting the previous night. Courtney’s heart overflowed with joy. Greeting Ryan properly this time, he was allowed to step over the boundaries that separated the threshold from the outside. It was all Courtney could do to stand there and not fling herself onto Cameron at his glaringly blatant apology in front of Ryan. She knew they both still loved her, and would support her now no matter what, so she forgave both of them for their actions in that moment. Flowers still in Cameron’s hands she politely ‘ohhed’ and ‘ahhed’ over the arrangement, Lilies and daisies – the color combination so rich and vibrant. She felt a tug at her heart as she looked at Cameron like he was a whole different person with those same baby-blue eyes she’d known since they were kids. But she knew that this was probably the last time she’d be seeing Cameron…
Ryan watching the scene had to turn away as he was almost inwrought with jealousy. He walked up to his quarters to get ready for his proposal; he knew she needed her time. She was hiding something, and couldn’t confide in him just yet. She hugged Cameron as once again the door had someone calling with large knocks to it. Courtney walked to the door, answering it to the ever-endearing Noah she bubbled with joy. He’d only gotten better over the years, and Courtney knew she should consider herself lucky for him to take a break from Hollywood for just dinner. He and Christian were the only ones who were really there when the news of Ryan’s “death” had hit her. Courtney knew that it was amazing that he was here, not only for the dinner, but her news also. Cameron shuffled and scuffed her floor, waiting for her to take her flowers once more and a possible introduction; Noah though, as she turned took her hand and twirled her back before locking her in a hug and kissing her cheek. Courtney couldn’t help but laugh at the enthused greeting; the big dork could still charm her after everything.
She sighed with relief, “I’m sooo glad to see you Noah! Or, my apologies,” she wiggled her eyebrows, “should I call you Mr. Dohm?”
Noah laughed at her little pun, “The pleasure is always mine, as long as you’ve got that camera around here somewhere.” He was still looking at her, watching for the hidden signs of returning pain, but could see none. Only the happiness and glowing charm of her, “you look more beautiful now than since I last laid eyes on you.”
“Hah! Stop!! She giggled, “it’s just that I don’t have duck feathers all over me this time.” Her eyes crinkled at the memory coming home from the doctor’s office with pleasure.
“That was a good time.” Noah winked at her; and for the second time since running into her, Cameron grew impatient and rude.
“Hey cutie,” he started after getting courage to tear her away from the embrace of the wildly known actor, “where do you want these?” Referring to the flowers; trying not to turn her temper bad. She turned out of Noah’s arms still holding Noah’s hand, beaming with smiles and laughter.
“Oh! Yes! Yes! Those!” She giggled once again, almost breathless, letting go of Noah’s hand, “Cameron Taggart, this is Noah Dohm. He’s a hotshot from Hollywood, but we all went to high school together. As for the flowers, I’ll take them to my room since I have to get dress anyways. Thank you again, the thought was so sweet of you.” Courtney bussed Cameron’s cheek as she was taking the flowers and let Noah know that she needed to talk to him later.

“So, you’re her first love, huh?” Noah remarked, trying to make conversation off-hand with the hockey player.
“I guess; I don’t know why though. I don’t even know why I’m still here. She’s more in love with all of you more than me.” Cameron looked away from Noah and started to try and expand his height so he could be closer to the 6’3” actor’s eye-line.
“Not true. That’s total bullshit. You come up every month, several times in October and March and over half the summer. That girl is still in love with you, and will always love you. And I promise you this: she doesn’t admit to love easily.”
“GODAMMIT!” Christian shouted coming down the dark hall, “didn’t I get rid of you last night?!” He accused buttoning his crisp shirt, and then seeing Noah also, “AND YOU! I thought I had her all to myself now since I ditched you in California six months ago and you came back last month while I was overseas, only to leave again!”
“Heyyyy man!” They hugged out a welcome, “Nah man, you can’t get rid of me that easily. And what do you mean you got rid of this chap last night?” Noah asked using his best looney-tunes impression.
“Courtney made me dinner.” Cameron cut in once more.
“Ohhhh! You’re the guy she spilled sweet tea all over!” Noah expressed knowledge as Christian smirked.
“Yes. I—-” Cameron was interrupted by a shrill pitch coming from the direction of Courtney’s room. Bomont flew past the men in the lobby to a hysterically laughing Courtney. Oh boy was a scene coming she knew. Ryan was the next one that managed to fly in after Bo, towel barely hanging across his hips while his hair and body were still dripping wet from the shower he had just abandoned, all of the others right behind him.
“What baby-girl?” Ryan questioned looking around for the cause of the outburst. Courtney couldn’t seem to catch her breath through the nonstop bouts of laughter that had taken over her body. Courtney pointed towards her pig, Olaf; pointing out that he was the one that screamed, not her. She’d dropped her makeup bag and scared the poor piglet when her powder bounced and hit him. Bomont licked the pig before picking him up. Courtney was finally able to catch her breath at seeing the bloodhound and piglet together.
“Olaf!” She mock-scolded, “how did you get in, you rascal?” Courtney picked up the pig as she leaned over, for all the men to see the trouble maker; not caring that she and Ryan were in all different states of undress. “Men, this is the pig the squealed murder.” She giggled once more as Noah took his piglet that he’d gotten her and Bo, rubbing his chin, “hey bud! You gave us quite a scare,” and continued in his best John Wayne impression, “you sure do scream loud little lady.” Courtney laughed as she shooed everyone but Ryan out. Bo tagged along after the piglet on Noah’s heels.
“Where was that thing last night?” Ryan stated, staring at her as he watched her eyes touch up and down his wet body. He saw her hands twitch as if wanting to skim her hands along his glistening chest. Her only reply was, “doghouse.” Ryan moved towards her, outstretching his right hand to hold hers. His left fingers skid up her bare side, along the pads of her bra, snaking his fingers up to catch her chin with his thumb and forefinger. Her breath caught, he’d never looked so dangerous in his life. His blue eyes turned darker with flakes of grey in them. She shivered at the thought of what he was revealing of himself to her. The war and imprisonment had changed him; but Courtney wanted to know what was to come in the near future with him, so she didn’t pull away.
His jaw clenched and his muscles bulged, as if jumping to escape his skin. She felt his control starting to slip, and he kissed her. Mind-blowingly kissed her as he never had before; as if he was a starving man, and his life depended on it. Their duel of mouths for control of the kiss was interrupted when Christian leaned on the door-frame making the door’s hinges creek. A sudden reminder that company was waiting.
“I should…” Courtney started, still out of breath from the kiss.
“Yeah; me too.” Ryan gave her one last hard kiss before letting her chin go and retying his towel firmly about his waist. Departing slowly. Her bra was soaked, along with her good dress pants she had managed to find.
“Dammit!” She cursed once more loudly as Christian stood watching her.
“Hey, before you take that thing off--“ he tried to interrupt before she took off her bra, not caring who was around.
“What?!” She snapped as she tried to find another good bra, whipping around and stripping down to just her underwear anyways. Only the lace covering her hips, and back now to Christian she found her favorite pair of jeans and the really expensive bra she’d let herself buy never really wearing it. Christian along with Noah, who had come to see if Christian had told her yet watched in awe as her shoulders glided past the straps, entirely entranced.
“Speak man!” she yelled as she went to find a shirt in her closet.
“Cameron left.” Christian stated.
“WHAAAT!?!?!?!” Courtney came whipping around her closet door, three shirts in hand and her hair falling out of her up-do she had done. Noah, seeing her distress cut in, “Yeah, he saw you and Ryan together after we were all supposed to leave the room and said, ‘Tell her I’ll see her later.’ And just took off in his corvette. He seemed pretty pissed Courtney.” Courtney looked at Noah blankly for three seconds before making up her mind.
“Fine, let him be pissed. He’ll just miss whatever Christian planned. And did anyone get his motorcycle keys back to him?” An afterthought to herself of his keys sitting in the bowl.
“No, no one did.” Noah replied as she turned around, “hey what happened to your jaw and face?” Finally seeing the bruise that was pushing through the foundation and concealer; of which Courtney was trying so hard to cover.
“Quinn hit her. Just before everyone started showing up. And she still forgave him.” Christian said before she could come up with a lie. Noah turned furious and started storming to the door, determined to defend Courtney. Courtney let go of her shirts and got a running start before launching herself at his back and throwing her arms around his neck while her legs sprung around his waist. She felt the definition of his college football years kick in as he embraced her impact without faltering after stopping.
“Noah, don’t, please. Christian already beat him to where he was bleeding. It’s not as bad as it looks, it doesn’t even hurt.” She fibbed, but she wasn’t having any more fights tonight. She felt him shift as if to get her down, but surprised her when he kissed her hands and carried her still upon his back towards her room once more. Christian had gone to his room to grab his jacket as it was when he set her down gently on the stool. This was the Noah she knew. The lovable man who defended and protected all the while healing all wounds. He turned around and adjusted her bra strap for her while looking at her shirt collection and grinning.

“What are you? A nun?” He teased picking up her modest long-sleeved choices. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”
“Okay?” She questioned to his back after his tall form was leaving the room. She heard his car’s obnoxious shrill that he’d installed because he knew how it annoyed her. He was back in an instant with four bags, all with designer names on them. He put them down in front of her small armoire and pulled out a dazzling blue dress.
“Oh my god! Noah!” She had to sit down again, out of breath, knowing she was going to hyperventilate if she didn’t. “It’s beautiful! And it must have cost a fortune!” She started to scold him; he only responded by hanging it on her mirror and pulling her up.
“Put it on, tonight is your night; and you’re worth a million more than just a dress.” He walked out to grab a slug of brandy she kept around for him, leaving her speechless, and making her forget to tell him what he needed to know. She shifted out of her washed-too small denims; she touched the dress and felt the material. She instantly knew that it was a James Taylor, giving her a flashback to high school junior year; but leaving this one much more sophisticated in cut and style. Sexier, she almost dared not to look in the other bags, knowing that there were shoes to match because Noah did all or nothing.

Chapter 17:

Ryan checked his watch for the third time in two minutes, “What is taking her so long?” He paced, he was damn nervous she’d already given him a proposal, and it was apparent that his rejection had hurt her, so what if she denied his? He heard Bo’s pant coming down the hallway and the click of her high heels on her floor. Looking up his breath caught; she was a vision. The dress flowed around her knees like a light summer’s breeze, and she held herself higher than a queen, her ringlets were framing her face from a redo in her clip from fighting everyone else off of each other so far. Noah, seeing Ryan paralyzed, walked forward and offered his arm that didn’t have his brandy sifter in it. Ryan snapped out of it and smiled at her and her amused grin of him just standing there. Christian walked back in and saw Noah hand her over to Ryan with a little twirl.
“Hey all, my favor is here.” Christian commented about the limo waiting outside. He’d saved the driver’s life more than once. Ryan and Noah escorted Courtney outside while Christian held the door to lock up for her. Turning back before he did though, “Bo, to bed.” He commanded the dog; Bomont took the hint after a finger was pointed up the stairs and trotted towards the laundry room instead. Christian locked the door with a solid click of the bolt home and joined the others in the limousine.
“So, where’s dinner tonight Christian?” Ryan asked Christian as he settled in his seat.
“JC’s.” He could only absentmindedly reply.
“J.C. Tucker?” Courtney’s interest was piqued, for she hadn’t seen the elusive owner in over five months.
“Yeah, he’s in town tonight. I made sure of it.” Noah told her with a wink.
“Oh, that’s good. I haven’t seen him in a while.” Courtney looked at Noah and remembered that she wanted to tell him something earlier. She didn’t know if she could though in front of everyone, knowing that she’d have to eventually. “Hey Noah, when we get there, would you mind walking with me along the terrace? I just need some air and Ryan and Christian can get our table.”
“Sure I can,” Noah looked cockily at her knowing something was up.
“Would you like me to come along too babe?” Ryan couldn’t help but feel jealous. Noah and Courtney had a secret that was being kept from everyone and he didn’t like it one bit.
“No. Just Noah for now, once I get some air I’m sure I’ll be ready for dinner.” Courtney glanced out the window again, waiting for the last turn of the drive. When that finally came everyone seemed to trip over themselves to help her out. Ryan allowed her to breathe as he won her favor in getting out of the car. He walked her towards the front of the building when Noah asked if he could cut in. Ryan kissed her palm as he handed her off to Noah. Courtney watched his disappearing form with Christian as she and Noah started to walk to the terrace on the side of the building.
“So, you’ve been pensive all night and have been dropping hints like crazy that you want to talk to me. Tell me, is Ryan’s return not good news? I thought that’s what you’ve been waiting for, give me one more hint here, that way I’m not throwing blind.”
“I’ll give you three guesses. Starting with the last time you visited, and I’m thrilled at Ryan’s revival, but hesitant and scared all at once. This is nerve-wracking especially because it involves you, and I’m not quite sure how to tell.”
“Hmmm, the last time I was here, huh? Well let’s see we went to the doctor together and then came home to find that the pig had chased the goose and duck through the mud and you landed in the pile of molting feathers trying to catch them. I then picked them out of your hair and we watched a marathon of Sylvester Stallone movies together before I had to leave the next afternoon while you fell asleep in my bed on my chest. So: three guesses. You’re thrilled, but nervous, and not sure of yourself, but you know you want this. Are you kicking me out of my room?”
“Ha-ha, no silly. I could never do that to you.”
“Well then, does Ryan not approve of me around you?”
“No, and even if he did, I wouldn’t pay him any mind, you’re my best friend.”
“Oh! I know, you think I’ve exceeded Sylvester Stallone in my acting career!”
“Damn it Noah! Ha-ha, I could never think that,” at once they stopped strolling in front of the terrace window doors that led inside. Christian and Ryan could both witness what was now transpiring outside. “See, the thing is…” Courtney paused and grabbed Noah’s hand. “Do you remember what that doctor’s appointment was for?”
Noah looked her in the eyes remembering strongly of her coming to him and asking if he was willing to let her try and have a baby. Someone she could trust implicitly with her life and possibly the life of a child. “You came to me asking if I could help you get pregnant. We went to the doctor to insemin---“ Noah stopped and grinned. “Oh, you’re pregnant. It worked?”
Courtney smiled and squeezed his hand tighter almost crying with joy. “Yes, yours took Noah, you’re the father. And you know I don’t expect anything of you and I wasn’t really sure until last week so I haven’t said anything and then Ryan showing up is just perfect.” Noah squeezed her in his arms not minding the windows, “Now I see why you’re so nervous. You have every right to be, and I know you don’t expect anything, but no matter what, you’re not alone in this. We all love you, even if when you tell that guy that you’re having a baby, you should only be happy. You deserve that.” Noah hugged her once more as J.C. came through the doors with a rose for Courtney. Noah saw him and chuckled a bit. He whispered into her hair, “even if it doesn’t work out, I know someone who is dying to be with you anyways and doesn’t mind your weird tendency to fall asleep all over me.” She laughed too as she turned around and took Noah’s arm, finally seeing the sea-eyed wonder that she’d found back in California for her birthday all those years ago.
“So, Court, what’s up?” J.C. couldn’t help but stare, she was radiant as ever and it seemed that the light was always brighter around her. He’d been in love with her since she bought that first ice-cream cone only to smash it in his face.
“Hey gorgeous, I’ve missed you.” Noah walked Courtney a bit more carefully now to the man, shook his hand while she kissed JC’s cheek.
“Apparently not too much with all that seems to be going on around you.” He handed her the rose and bowed over her hand that took it to kiss her fingertips.
“Please, you know nothing could stop me from missing people. Did you go back out to California to see your mother and sister? How are they?”
“Mom is still strong as ever. My only delay in these last months was being with my sister. I don’t think she’s going to make it into the fall, but who knows? She’s fooled us all this far. Come, shall we sit down?” He motioned towards the table that had added an extra place for him.
“Oh, yes please, that is, if you’re willing to sit through everything and bear the tears and laughter that is going to happen.” Courtney walked in the doors with Noah on his arm as J.C. followed closely.
“With you, anything can happen that I don’t mind. Just keep you away from the ice cream and me, we’ll be just fine.” He winked at her and Noah laughed remembering that trip with Courtney watching her temper go off for the first time. Courtney could only smile at the memory of the pleasure she had gotten from shoving the ice-cream in his face for taking her journal she had been writing in.
The men already at the table stood up upon seeing her. JC pulled out her chair while Noah helped her down into it. Courtney usually didn’t like to be treated this way, but knew when to take a good thing as it was given to her. She smirked a little at all the attention she was drawing from the other customers. Especially the ladies in the corner who all had interest at one point or another in the men at her table – the owner’s table; including the owner, whom none could get to have him take them home for just one night. Ryan spoke to her then after everyone else had gained their seats, “I ordered you a glass of white, if that’s okay.” Courtney opened her mouth to speak but Noah beat her to the punch line, “absolutely not, she can have apple juice and water. She can only pretend to be grown up tonight.” Noah winked at her, Courtney only felt annoyed. Ryan’s fist closed around his salad fork tighter, “I don’t recall me asking you.” His glare was steely; Courtney decided to cut in, “no, he’s right, I can only have apple juice or water. Doctor’s orders.”
A look of terror and a bit of shock flashed across Ryan’s face, “Wait, doctor? What’s wrong? Did something happen that I’m not aware of?”
“It’s fine I promise. I’ll tell all in a little bit, but for now I’m starved, let’s eat and find out how JC’s trip to Cali was, I’m dying to know, I haven’t been there in what seems like forever.”
JC lit up at the thought of taking Courtney back there, but Ryan just looked at him hard, giving the silent signal for the other man to not even think about it.
“Well, not much to tell actually,” JC started, “but I did get you this, I remembered how much you wanted one the last time I went out without you last summer before you started working more hours and forgot.” JC pulled a crystalized shark tooth out of his pocket and handed it to her. Knowing that she’d put it away not to be seen, but that’s only because she would treasure it. Little did she know that he’d looked for one on the ocean floor for over a month when he could get the time away from his sister’s bedside.
“Oh my god, JC, thank you so much, this is incredible! How long did it take you to find it?” She was in awe over the fact that he had remembered seeing the pricey one in the store, saying how he could find them easily, but knowing that it wasn’t so easy. JC was shocked at her memory also.
“A little over a month of free time.” He watched as Courtney grasped it tighter in her palm an smiled.
“Well I love it.” She took out her wallet and put it in the money slot so it wouldn’t get crushed. Noah beamed as he saw the wine coming, relishing in the thought of sending it back. “Excuse me waiter, I’m afraid my friend’s boyfriend here is a little clueless as to her preferences, she’ll have some apple juice in a champagne glass, not that of which you are bringing her, and I think I’ll join her.” Noah grinned at that last part, receiving a glare from Courtney as he did.
“What’s wrong that you can’t have wine now Court?” JC asked, knowing that besides Noah, he was the only one that was really around, and knew her alcohol preferences. Ryan stopped and looked around once more knowing that no better time would be now then. Since everyone was trying to distract her. The waiter came back with some sparking apple cider instead commenting, “I’m sorry sir, we’re just all out of apple juice tonight.” Courtney laughed and said it was okay as long as there was no alcohol. When the waiter agreed that there wasn’t, it hit Ryan almost like a ton of bricks.
“Please be totally honest with me,” as he grabbed her hand from across the table, “what is going on with you?”
Courtney laughed once more, knowing that she was going to be miserable if he didn’t take the news well, but decided that Noah was right. “I can give you my news after you tell me yours. You told me today that you had some for me, so now spill, and I can give you mine.” Ryan hesitated and pulled back a bit. Letting go of her hand he pulled out his jacket and reached for the antique ring box. Walking around the table he angled her towards him. Even on one knee he was still at eye level with her. “Courtney, this last year has been hell without you, you thought I was dead and for a while I felt that I was too without you, please, marry me.” Ryan opened the box and took out the ring. He was sliding it on her finger when she stopped him about halfway, placing her other hand on his.
“Before I say anything, now is definitely the time for you to know. I can’t have alcohol or I have to be more careful in the coming months because I’m pregnant. You need to know. I tried waiting for you to come back, for months I waited for it to not be true. Around five months ago I started to try and start a family. Even if it was just me. The doctors said that nothing was taking because of how the freezing worked. Noah was home about a month ago, so I asked him if he would help me. We went into the clinic and the doctors said it’s a possibility. So I went ahead and tried. Thinking that it wouldn’t stick like the others. For the past month it’s just been me an Bo at the house since Noah left to shoot the last segment of his movie. I’m not going to lie to you. He’s been there for me the most. That with Christian’s deployments and having them often for a long time, when Noah was off, he’d be there.” Noah radiated pride in the praise he was getting, “He may be a gigantic pain in the ass sometimes,” Noah winked at her, “but he’s there, and he would hold me if I cried or let me fall asleep on him if I happened to be near and tired. Or took me dancing when I needed to be cheered up. It’s not a surprise to me that he said yes in helping me with this too, because that’s just who he is. But I need to know what you think before I say anything. Because undoubtedly my answer is yes. Wholeheartedly, but we have to be in this together as a team, I couldn’t bear the thought of you wanting to love me and really trying, but resenting me for it the rest of your life too, every time you would look at my baby it would have to be of love.”
Half the restaurant had gone quiet in hopes of hearing Courtney, seeing that the Marine had gotten out of his chair to come behind her; Noah put a hand on her back letting her know that they were both there. JC grinned knowing that this is what she’d been wanting, a family. She had the chance at one. The only one who seemed to be shocked at this news was Ryan. Who was still reeling from it all. He thought she couldn’t have alcohol because she’d been in a bad place, but it was totally the opposite. His girl had tried to mold a life even without him, trying to be happy and still maintaining the hope that he would come back to her. JC tapped the table and glared at his customers. Courtney became close to tears as Ryan still said nothing. She started to rise as the din of conversation in the room did once more, Ryan grabbed her hand firmer, “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” Ryan almost sounded angry, and he was frustrated with himself for it coming out that way.
“Ryan, I’ve been half-terrified myself of it all. I thought it wasn’t going to work. But it did. I found out last week that this time was real, and instead of calling Noah and Christian up to tell them since they both knew I wanted to keep trying, I sat there and cried. I cried until Olaf climbed in my lap and Bo followed. I was still crying a bit when Quinn walked in from the door being unlocked. He had a bottle of champagne in hand ready to celebrate his previous night’s win against the Kings. He’s the only one that knew. I couldn’t even get up the nerve to tell Noah over the phone or all day, even when he gave me the dress. You’re not the only one who,” she was stopped as Ryan pulled away, leaving the ring on her finger. She hadn’t even looked at the dazzling stone of diamond resting upon it, she could only feel the weight bearing down upon her finger.
“I just, I think I need some air.” Ryan got up and walked out the terrace doors. Noah got up and followed him. Courtney was assisted in turning her chair back around so she could eat. Her plate of tiger-lone arrived, something she had been looking forward to because it had bits of every meat in strips wrapped in fried vegetables, seemed no longer appealing. When she looked down at the ring Courtney did break down and cry. For she knew how much that ring meant to him. And this was a hurt that she never wanted to feel again.

“Ryan! You ass, wait up!” Noah trotted after the man who had just left Courtney close to tears by walking away. “You do know that she still loves you right? And that she was honoring you by doing this? You guys had a plan, she was trying to live without you by her side, which very nearly killed her.” Ryan paced and sat down, only to stand up again and walk around the stone circle by the marble bench he had just vacated. Noah could only continue, “you have no idea how many nights I held her and she cried out for you, where she couldn’t sleep by herself because you were gone, where she would scream and have nightmares until Christian or I could wake her up. She loves you more than you deserve, and for the second time today, you’ve hurt her. I see that she gave you back the puka shells she carries everywhere, she asked you to be with her. You denied her but kept those anyways. At this point they belong to her. You’re hurting her now more than you could know. Last night when I called Christian it sounded like the best thing in the world. I find out that it is now that she’s having a baby. She wanted a baby so she could honor you, think about you, but no longer be by herself.” Noah sat Ryan down on the bench forcefully, “Well man?”
“I don’t know what to think Noah!” Ryan exploded and shot up, glaring down at Courtney’s best friend. “You tell me that she’s slept in your arms and that it means nothing but comfort to the both of you, you’re telling me that she’s having your child and you’re not bothered by it, you’re telling me that you wouldn’t mind if I raised it, you’re telling me all you care about is if I hurt her.”
“That’s not what I said,” Noah slowly stood up and met Ryan’s eyes, only an inch shorter than the man of subject, Noah knew he could take him out if he had to. Loyal to a fault, Noah was going to give him another chance, “did you miss the part where she told you ‘wholeheartedly yes’? Did you not just hear me tell you that she couldn’t sleep alone without someone there because of you? What about the part where she’s in there with a man who is dying to be with her despite everything and is willing to give up his life for her and in fact has, moving from California to here only seeing his mother and dying sister once every few months. Then there’s you, and she still chooses you. God help me in knowing why, but she still loves you over all else. No, I didn’t know that she was having a baby until tonight when we walked here in this exact spot, and I am thrilled for her. It’s what she wanted. Now, you can get your act together and tell her you love her too or get out of her life. There’s a limit when it comes to her you know. Figure it out.” Noah walked off to go back inside, turning a corner he ran straight into Courtney. Noah caught her and steadied her. She had one mission in mind, she nodded her head and continued on.


**********************
Ryan was trying to light his cigarette, his hands were shaky and he couldn’t get the flame to keep. When the cigarette glowed red he knew he had it. Then he heard her approach. She had a tear stain down her cheek, he could tell she had cried after he left, and now he was hurting her more by doing the one thing she couldn’t stand: smoking. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it down to where he could stamp it out.
“Don’t bother.” She told him making a gesture with her hands. He couldn’t see exactly what she was doing, but knew that it wasn’t good. Ryan heard his grandmother’s box click with the metal on wood. ‘Damn.’ Was his only mind’s response.
“I can explain.” Ryan tried to reach for her. He knew she was going to dodge him, so he caught her hand with the box in it.
“No need, you’ve made your opinion clear.” She dropped the box in his hand and started to turn away, “just know Ryan, I would still give you a chance if you had just walked away at the table, but you relying on a cigarette? I can’t do it. I just can’t. I get it, I do, you think you need it. But what is one thing you crave more than the nicotine? That’s what’s going to get you to quit. Because I can no longer play games. It’s not just my life I have to think of anymore. I’m going home. Find your own way back to your mother. Let her know you’re alive. I guess I’m just destined to be loved by friends forever; no lovers.” Courtney walked away from him once more. The click of her heels deafening against the stone. All that was left were the sounds of the night and the moon shining down on the desolate scene. “Damn.” He finally said aloud. Knowing that he just lost what he craved the most, and he wasn’t getting another chance at getting it back.

Chapter 19:

Courtney’s head was in Noah’s chest almost the entire way back to the house. Christian could only rub her bared back and draw designs along her spine. JC was following the limo in his car. He was hoping he could cheer her up too.
Noah looked down at Courtney, he relieved her of her hair clip and let his fingers glide through her curls. He gathered them together and tugged gently to grab her attention and tip her head backwards. His eyes were almost unreadable while they looked into hers.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t cry. I’ll stop.” Courtney tried to unwrap her arms from around his body, but he stopped her. She only looked up at him to await what he was going to say.
“You have every right to cry. He’s being an ass and knows that he’s lost you. He panicked which in most cases is understandable, but the fact that he betrayed you in a way that you asked him not to years ago is what killed it all. So you’re fine crying. Also, there’s this.” Noah reached into his jacket pocket to hand her a handkerchief. He also grabbed the Buddha necklace she gave him all those years ago when they were still in high school for his birthday. He never went anywhere without it. He tried to tie it around her as she wiped her eyes, she stopped him by reaching his hands and grasping the string. She reversed the order and tied it around his neck.
“You’re all the luck I need.” Courtney hugged Noah close after that and he did the same. While Christian turned away knowing that he had missed much in the last six months that he was gone. The limo pulled up to the house and JC followed closely. Christian helped Courtney out while Noah grabbed her bag. The necklace swung from his neck as he emerged from the limousine Courtney was on Christian’s arm as they waited for Noah to catch up. JC had parked on the side of the house and trotted over. Courtney groaned a bit at the thought of social graces. All she really wanted was a hot shower and to sleep.
“I’m not in the mood JC, you can talk to me tomorrow.” Christian was walking her inside as Noah shrugged.
“But I---” JC held up his finger when Noah turned towards him and shook his head, pointing his thumb towards the extension that Quinn had used telling him to spend the night there. Noah went inside in time to hear Courtney sigh and kiss Christian’s cheek, telling him he should go to bed or do something without her. She was going to go take a shower. Noah walked behind her determined to help her get out of her current state.
She walked into her bedroom and started to undress. “I’m not in the mood Noah, all I want is a shower and then bed. I’ll talk more about tonight tomorrow, or whenever you have the chance since I know you go back tomorrow to finish post production of the movie.” Noah just stood there remembering that. Also making a note to call the director and take the rest of the week off, he was going to help her get through this, whether she liked it or not.
“I’m taking the week off,” he started as her dress fell to the floor, “also, you need a massage, let me give you one after you shower, I’m going to get changed and then we can listen to some radio together and just talk about nothing, or talk about when your next doctor’s visit is.” Noah set her handbag down on her vanity and hugged her when she smiled replying with a “sure.” Noah headed up to his room to grab his things. He loved the arrangement, and knew that she would fall asleep in his arms again tonight, but he didn’t mind because she needed someone, and he was the only one she really trusted. He took out his phone and dialed the director while he was putting on fresh boxers and flannel bottoms, not able to find his favorite shirt that he slept in, but knew the culprit right away as it was hanging on his mirror again. Bo had taken it to Courtney thinking it a game that he had regrettably started a few months back.
“Hello?” The line answered.
“Yes, hello Terri, Dohm here, I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be in for the rest of the week. My friend back home got some shocking news, and it turns out that I need to help her through it for a little while. But I should be back next Sunday.”
“That’s fine Dohm. We can do everything else until then. I hope she’s feeling okay and will get better.”
“I know she will. She’s tougher than she looks.”
“Alright, don’t do anything stupid while you’re out there Dohm. I don’t want you having a broken wrist or anything for the revealing in a month and a half.”
“Will do Terri.” Noah hung up and tossed the phone on the charger. He grabbed his keys to go back out to his car and grabbed the last bag he had gotten Courtney.