it's currently six in the morning and my hair is pulled into a blue-gray-blonde mess on top of my head. i'm standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth wondering what in the actual hell i was thinking last night when i drank that energy drink and stayed up till 2:30.

i cup my hands and run them under the faucet and bring the water in them to my mouth to rinse.

i mean seriously, who in their right mind drinks something they know will keep them up for god knows how long on the night before their first day of school?

i wash my face and take out my hair as it falls into its usual semi-emo swoopy side bang. i grab my bracelets before switching off the light and heading back to my room. i grab my black wash ripped jeans from my drawer and an overly-worn Sketchy Tank shirt out as well. i get dressed then put on my Chucks before grabbing my head phones and coat and heading for the door to watch for the bus.

at this point i'm old enough to drive but can't because i'm your average cant-do-anything-for-herself teenager who doesn't talk to enough people who have cars to get a ride.

now if you're thinking 'it's your first day back, you should dress up!', then you don't know me. 'dressing up' isn't exactly something i do. my dressing up is a nice t-shirt. which today, i had on a nice long sleeve shirt and a nice coat. granted the coat is mid thigh length, camouflage print and is covered in patches and the back has band logos all over it in fabric paint, but hey, it's a nice coat.

besides saying good morning to my bus driver and hello to a couple people on the way to my seat, the bus ride is silent. about five minutes in i pull out my head phones and begin playing Brick+Mortar on full volume.

i lose track of time with my eyes closed and my music playing and before i know it i'm being tapped awake by the guy in the seat behind.

'man we gotta go!' he says as he himself gets off the bus. he's rushed and excited and i don't understand how one person can be so happy for school.

i gather myself and step off the bus heavily. as soon as i leave the accordion doors of the bus i'm met with the overall school smell. bus exhaust, too-much-cologne, new clothes, new shoes, floor polish, all of it.

i see faces i know, a couple being ex's who i have no intention of talking to, a couple being old friends who i simply smile at slightly and one of which being my best friend, spencer.

i run up behind him and jump on him. he instinctively catches me and i giggle loudly. i hop down as one of the teachers yells at me and we walk into school.

now if you're thinking 'she's best friends with a guy! she must be screwing him!' well, i'm not. he's bisexual with a male preference, and i'm bisexual with a female preference. so no, we're not together.

it's all vaguely familiar, the lockers, the floors, the halls, the teachers, the students, but it's all new. everyone has new clothes and new styles and there are new relationships and friendships and everyone is happy to see everyone.

i love these moments. moments where everyone is new in one way or another and you can't really hate anyone and the overall feeling of everyone is just that same dreadful happiness of the first day of school.

i got my schedule at open house last saturday and i have english first period.

spence has first and second period with me as well as seventh and eighth. our lockers are kind of close together, so it works out well.

we both get to first period long before the bells rings, and the room is full of old friends and the bustle of a starting school year. everyone is saying hi to everyone and we're all showing off our new clothes and our new selves.

i don't notice i'm being grabbed by the shoulder until spence is laughing at someone behind me. i turn around to see my ex standing behind me. we're not the typical 'we hate each other more than anything' exs, and though we don't talk that often, it's pretty nice when we do.

i stand up and hug her quickly and she sighs as i pull away. i can tell something is wrong but i can't place it. i smile widely before almost yelling over everyone, 'hey man how have you been?'

she cocks her head slightly and chuckles at spencer behind me. i turn around to him 'playing it cool' before scoffing and returning to my conversation.

'hey! we haven't talked in forever, how've you been?'

'it's been a while eh? well, not much has changed. i dyed my hair, but that's obvious.'

she looked me up and down as if sizing me up.

'yea i saw, thought it was just some editing trick.'

at this point it hits me that i haven't seen her since the last day of school last year. since she's part of the popular and sporty girls and i was friends with the stoners and emos, we never really went to the same parties or get togethers.

'nope!' i say in an incredibly sarcastic voice.

she looks almost disgusted as she realizes i don't want to be talking to her.

'well it was nice seeing you, i've missed you over the summer, austen. we should get together sometime!'

i glance at spencer before turning back to sam.

'yea, totally.' i say, smiling slightly, with full intent to only speak to her if and when needed.

she walks back to her cackling group of followers and i see them eyeing me as she begins talking. i raise my hand and twiddle my fingers in a short 'hello and goodbye.’

i turn around and spencer and i find seats.

we settle in as the class bell rings and the teacher stands to introduce himself.

i already knew the teacher, mr. a or mr. acridge, from open house. he and i had talked about music mostly after he saw me wearing a twenty one pilots shirt. he and i talked about everything from tv shows to bands we loved. we met on most of the bands and shows and i knew he would be one of my favorite teachers and i was thrilled to have him as my homeroom teacher.

'alright class, i'm mr. acridge. i'm the 12th grade english teacher here at waverly high and your homeroom. every morning before class you can go to you lockers to gather your supplies for your first period and then you are to report to my classroom for you first class. as the title of 'english' implies, this class will teach you about, well, english.

'im not very strict so as long as you're turning in homework on time and you're not jumping on desks, we should have no problems. now, i've put together a syllabus for this class that you all need to get signed and returned by this friday, august 24. anyone who does not return the slip will be given detention.'

after this, i drown everything out because of what i catch out of the corner of my eye.

from across the room i can see sam giving me that same look she used to give me before telling me to get on my messages to see some dirty little remark.

she motioned for me to look at my phone and when i did, i didn't believe what i saw.

i mean, i believed it, because this is the kind of person sam was, but it was weird to see that after so long she had some how figured out a way to make me feel; odd.

'message from: sam- love your outfit, but i bet it'd look better on the floor.'

i slip my phone into my bag and i ignore the slight buzzing of every notification i got.

i made it through the rest of the class, and for once dreaded going to my locker.

sam's locker was right next to mine. call it karma for my pettiness towards her, or the fate of our last names beginning with the same letter, but either way, having a locker next to your ex is hell. especially when she wants to screw you, and you want to forget her.