I got a text from Josh. 

I had such a great time last night. Once again I am sorry for all the issues we had off the bat but as they say, relationships are stronger when they face bumps early on and know how to deal with them. 

Who says that? Relationships. Did he just say relationships? I thought to myself, “This guy is so weird.” 

I laid in bed much longer than usual reflecting on my night. I guess it was nice of him to text me. Waiting to respond was my thing, I didn’t shoot him a text back until mid-afternoon. He was probably already at work anyway. My morning consisted of laundry, gossip girl, and homework. Typically I would go out to a coffee shop or library to get my homework done but after my eventful evening, I needed to lounge out today. 

That afternoon I responded to him by saying…

I had a good time too. Glad I got to meet your previous girlfriend too (laughing emoji).

While continuing to watch my sixth episode of Gossip Girl today, I heard a knock on my door. It was right when Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo in the Thanksgiving episode came on AKA the best scene in the whole series. I assumed it was just a worker delivering packages or something so I took my time getting to the door. Another knock bangs on my door, “I am coming, relax,” I screamed. I opened my bright blue door with the beautiful flower wreath my mom had made for me and am suddenly startled when I become face to face with Josh. My mouth drops. 

“Oh um hi” I scramble, finger brushing my hair in the entryway. “I did not know you were stopping by or I would have cleaned up a little.”

I glanced and saw the prettiest bouquet of flowers in his hands. 

“Sorry for stopping by unannounced, I just wanted to bring you these,” Josh said.

“Wow, that is so nice of you. They are very beautiful.” I said still shocked Josh is a step away from my mess of a home. 

“Are you gonna invite me in,” Josh questioned. 

“Oh I'm sorry,” I stepped back. “Come on in. My apartment is a little bit messy right now, I apologize.” 

“No need to apologize, that is all me,” Josh said. 

“How did you even find my apartment,” I asked.

“I convinced Rachel to ask her husband's best friend's wife where you live,” Josh said.

“Jackie of course!” I said. 

We walked towards the couch and I got a glass of Chardonnay. It was a long night of chatting and getting to know each other yesterday on our disastrous first date. He really impressed me with the flowers and wanted to be with me another night. I did not want to get ahead of myself or be too excited but it was hard not to. After finishing a bottle of wine I knew we needed to wrap it up before anything got out of hand. He seemed to think the same thing after we both finished our glass. 

“It is getting late. I probably should head out. Will you text me tomorrow?” Josh asked. 

“Yes, I will. It was good to see you.”

Josh inched closer and closer to my face. 

“Can I kiss you,” He asked? 

I shook my head, yes and we both went in for our first kiss and definitely not last. His hands were wrapped around my hips and mine were draped in his hair. It was the most beautiful romantic kiss I had ever experienced. He pulled out and I went right back in for more. I knew I was gonna fall for this guy hard.

The next couple of weeks we began texting or calling every single day. I was hesitant to tell my friends and family just in case it was too good to be true. I decided to wait until he asked me to be his girlfriend and we made it official to inform everyone of my new relationship.

He made plans to take me out to a nice dinner and then the downtown art gallery. I was beaming. I had always wanted to attend an art fair and he must have been listening to my wishes. We both got all dressed up. I wore a long pink dress and he wore a black suit with a blush pink tie. It was perfect together. The dinner was exquisite, we both got steak entrees and fancy drinks. Josh surprised me by telling the waiter it was my birthday. It was very adorable. I made a wish even though it was not my special day. My wish was to one day marry Josh but of course, I would not tell him that. 

After dinner we headed to the gallery in Josh’s fancy convertible, I felt like a princess riding in it. The art was absolutely beautiful. It was lovely talking to the artists about their work. One piece stood out to me the most. It was a big horizontal painting of the sky. The sunset was perfectly painted with fluffy bubbly clouds. 

“That painting is perfect,” I exclaimed. “It is so beautiful I cannot believe this piece of art was made by someone right in this very room.”

“You should buy it, that would look great in your living room,” Josh said. 

After asking for a total, the painting ended up being $700, which was too expensive for my budget but was beautiful. We moved past it and looked through hundreds of more paintings that could never compare. 

To end off the night we went for some ice cream at a rundown parlor and it was delicious. We sat on the trunk of his car looking at the stars. I had a rocky road cone while he was eating a Neopolitan dish. As we conversated about the various artists and work we saw tonight it got hushed. It was a ghost town around us, the only noises were chirping in the sky and the soft breeze of the night. 

“May I ask you something,” Josh said. 

I got a jittery feeling in my stomach and had no clue what was coming. 

“What did you think of me when you first met me,” Josh asked.

“Well, my first impression of you was awful considering I assumed you were standing me up on our first date. Although you have redeemed yourself in the past few weeks. I was in ahh with you the moment you showed up on my apartment doorsteps holding flowers in your hand. Props to you for that. Good work,” I said. 

“I am glad I could redeem myself because being with you has been amazing and I love every second with you. You are truly one of the best people I have ever met which is why I wanted to ask you. Will you be my girlfriend?” Josh said.

“I thought you would never ask,” I reached in and kissed him. 

It was one of the best moments of my life. That night we headed back to my house, he opened the door for me and held my hand the whole ride. Josh walked me to my front door and kissed me goodnight. 

“I will see you tomorrow,” He said.

The following week he came over almost every morning with coffee and breakfast for me. It felt like I had won the lottery in the boyfriend department. We spent as much time together as possible except when one of us was working or had class. I wanted to introduce him to my family but I was petrified. They had huge standards given I am the only daughter and my brothers… they will either love Josh or hate him.

Ring Ring Ring 

“Hello”

“Hi mom I had told you a little bit about Josh, do you remember?”

“Yes of course I remember honey, you never talk to me about your little boyfriends,” my mother said.

Josh snickers in the background.. “Well anyways he asked me to be his girlfriend last week,” I said.

“That is so exciting but before I even met him…” she said.

“I was actually wondering if we could set up a date for some dinner with the family,” I said.

“Of course… Actually come over tonight, all your brothers are, it will be perfect,” she said. 

“Um wow that was quick… let me talk to Josh,” I worried. 

He nodded and shook his head up and down nodding with a reassuring look. 

“Ok I guess we are in,” I said.

“Yay, be here at 6 o’clock sharp. We are so excited to meet Josh,” She said.

“All right, good talk bye bye,” I hung up.

I turn to Josh, “This is very fast I am worried. Are you worried,” I said.

“Relax, it is all gonna be okay. We got this,” Josh said. 

The rest of the day we get all dressed and cleaned up. Josh prepared a side dish for dinner because we couldn’t go empty handed. Then we headed to my parents house, it was only a ten minute drive. 

Knock Knock Knock I banged on my parents door then allowed myself to walk in. I grew up in this house, my parents had never moved and my bedroom is still the same pink walls and comforter as my senior year of high school. I had photos of me and my best friends still on the walls, my books on the desk, my diary, and whatnot. It was a room Josh would not be entering. 

My brothers were already there, hanging out on the couch. They practically never left. Going over to our parents house for home cooked meals and free wifi/tv was a hobby of theirs. I greeted them and introduced Josh to the family. My older brother, Nick, gave me a wink of approval just based on his introduction. 

The dinner was fabulous. My parents loved him and were utterly surprised I found a decent man. Throughout my whole young adult years, my family and friends constantly joked about me ending up single. The woman who dies alone in her sorrows with no love interest. At family functions I recieved the “Where is your boyfriend?” or “Do you not like boys?”. It was embarrassing and exhausting making up bullsh*t responses like “I am way too busy for that.” or “He couldn’t come,” even when I was super single.

I have a surprise for you. Come over. 

I headed straight to his apartment without even responding. He was in his kitchen when I walked in. 

“Hi honey, I am making us some dinner,” Josh said.

“What is my surprise? I need to know….,” I am terrible with surprises and he knows that. 

“You will find out after dinner.” 

As Josh finishes preparing dinner I scroll through my instagram checking up on my friends. I rarely went on social media. I thought it would be a good time while I had a break, not to mention I was dying to find out my surprise. My guess was some friends coming over or my favorite meal or a cheap gift. 

After a lovely shrimp pasta with bread and a salad for dinner, Josh stands up and tells me to close my eyes.

“I will be right back,” he said. 

I put my hand in my face pondering what he might spring on me.

“Look up,” Josh announces. 

As I slowly bring my head to his eye level. I see the painting in his hand. All that was going through my mind is how he remembered and how thoughtful it was. The painting I fell in love with on our second actual date. Soon enough I snapped back into reality. 

“You cannot afford to spend that much money on me, Josh. I love it so much but I can’t keep this,” I said. 

“Yes you can. I finished my program today. I made it through, I was the only intern to pass. I am getting paid now,” Josh said.

“Oh my god, that is incredible. I am so proud of you,” I said, hugging and kissing him. 

“And I bought that painting right after I took you home the night I asked you to be my girlfriend.”

Josh explained that the evening I fell in love with the painting and he asked me to be official, he knew I needed that painting the minute he witnessed me react to it. After dropping me off at home, he drove back up to the art fair and barely made it in before closing. Josh was praying that nobody had bought it yet. During the gallery when I went to the restroom he asked the artist to hold it for us. She said she would try but could not guarantee anything. Josh made it in exactly four minutes before it closed and ran straight for the painting. The artist was packing up and he had to fight for her to sell it to him. Josh had straight cash in his pocket and it was the only form of payment she would accept. Aftering purchasing the painting, he decided to wait until he finished his internship to give it to me knowing I would try and return it. 

This was probably the nicest gift I had ever received. I know this was a hefty purchase out of his bank account but I loved it so much I don’t know how I could part with it now. 

“Let’s go to my house to hang it up,” I encouraged, grabbing his hand and walking out of the door.

“Wow, you are excited. Let me grab my keys and turn off the stove then we can head out,” Josh said. 

The duration of the car ride all I could think about was how perfect he was. Josh was one of the nicest people I had ever met. I was looking forward to seeing this painting in my home. 

That evening Josh and I had our very first sleepover and it was amazing. I felt so comfortable and easy going with him even though it is early in our relationship I could see it going somewhere.

The next couple of months go perfectly. We discussed potentially moving in together into my home. I met all of his friends and family while Josh continued to hang out with me. As a couple, we went to dinner, on many different dates and were falling for eachother. One sunday morning in December I woke up to a direct message on Instagram from a girl I had not known. It started with “Hey girly,” and I knew what was coming. Josh was cheating on me. I found out something way different leaving me with my jaw dropped and eyes wide. “Oh my god,” I said to myself sitting on the edge of my bed unsure of what to do next. Should I call Josh or text him or ghost him? He deserves to explain himself but how could he? This was detrimental to our relationship. 

It began with… “Josh and I dated, years ago…” and that is when I realized this was Heather. The Heather I met on my first date with Josh months ago. I had not heard about her since this occurrence which made me pounder that he might be hiding something. I was terrified to read the rest of the paragraph so I took a shower to cleanse my mind and body. After getting quite carried away from my two-hour shower I put on my robe and sat down in my bed. This could potentially be detrimental to our relationship. 

Heather and Josh were in a perfect relationship. They moved in together and fell in love but it got rocky when Heather got pregnant. The couple fought for weeks about keeping the baby. Josh was fresh out of college and just getting into the workforce. Heather was so excited to have kids and thought she was prepared but did not have the funds to care for one. After “getting an abortion”, the couple broke up and split ways. This is when Josh began hanging out with other people, working hard, and slowly becoming a man to someday have children. 

I learned from this text from Heather that she had the child a year ago. 

“Josh assumed I had an abortion but I am a Christian girl I would never do such a thing,” Heather said. 

I could not even respond to this text until consulting with Josh. He is not cheating on me but something that might be just as bad. How could Josh have a child? Do we know if she is lying? 

I decided to text Josh.

“Where are you? Can we talk?” I said.

Seconds later he responds “Is everything okay? I was headed to my apartment I can pick you up.”

“I hope so and please,” I said. 

Thirty minutes pass and I am wondering why Josh still has not gotten to my house yet. He must know he messed up. 

“Are you coming to get me still,” I texted my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 

Another fifteen minutes pass, I put on my pink golden gooses, and grab my purse and strappy keys to head for my vehicle. As I turn on my Taylor swift playlist and the volume to 38, max, I head towards Josh’s apartment. This might be the end of our relationship I did not know what to expect, I was in love with him, and thinking of losing him left me anxious. 

As I turned onto 143rd and Nall, I saw a grey convertible BMW just like Josh’s precious car completely flipped upside down in the middle of the intersection. It was blocked off by a huge firetruck and to my right, a red honda accord emerged into the street pole. This accident was horrible. As I got closer I saw the BMW had the same rims and interior as Josh's car. Then I faintly saw his face laying on the ground appearing to be unconscious. 

I muttered under my breath in panic. As quickly as possible I turned my car into the neighborhood behind to get to the scene. I parked my car and was thankful I wore my running shoes. The minute my feet touched the pavement I was in a full-on sprint praying that everything would be okay. All the Heather drama fled my mind and my only concern was caring for Josh. 

Everything was already blocked off I was struggling to prove my relationship with Josh which limited my help in the accident. I panicked and dug my sweaty hands into my jeans to grab my phone. Luckily I recently got his mother, Jeanne, number to discuss birthday planning for him. Josh was put on a stretcher and taken to the hospital. I asked for any information on the accident and all they would tell me is they are headed to St. Luke's South with him. Following the ambulance scared of what is ahead, I met his mother there. 

Sitting in the lobby waiting for the doctor to give us further information on the emergency surgery, the two of us had some insanely awkward small talk. We had barely spoken just the two of us. Jeanne asked me where I was headed so I had to explain he was coming to pick me up avoiding giving details until I got into an individual conversation with Josh. 

I worried about when we were going to be able to talk about this text. It was practically my fault he got into that accident. I texted him to talk. I stressed him. I am the reason he took that road. 

We found out the surgery went well. The doctor informed us he has a concussion and had surgery on his leg. 

“He is just starting to wake up if you want to go in there,” Dr. Ryan told us. 

“You go ahead Jeanne I will hang back and go in after you,” I said. 

“Okay honey, I will let him know your here,” Jeanne said. 

“You can follow me,” The doctor led her into Joshs' room. 

After Jeanne came out from visiting him, she sent me in. My heart beat fast out of my chest as I debated how this conversation would flow. Looking at him brought me to tears, I was so happy he was alive. 

“Don’t cry everything is fine,” Josh ensured me. 

I lay next to him in the bed hugging him apologetically for bringing him to my house. 

“This is not your fault. The accident could have happened anywhere. That idiot pulled right in front of me and completely spun out,” Josh said. 

Grasping that this accident was not my fault we lay next to each other knowing we had to discuss the elephant in the room. 

“I’m sorry we have to talk about this right now while you lying in a hospital bed,” I said. 

“It’s okay obviously it is important,” Josh responded.

“Well Heather, your ex-girlfriend, direct messaged me on Instagram to tell me that you guys have a kid together. I am assuming you have her blocked or something and that is why she is texting me. I didn’t want to respond until I could talk to you and the whole situation is…” I said.

Josh interrupted, “I have a kid… with Heather. I am going to pass out.”

I passed him some water and took a break from this conversation. My love for him was going to drive me crazy. This cannot end abruptly. We have to find a way to figure this out. Once he was discharged from the hospital the two of us make it back to his house. I drove us on a very silent car ride pondering what I could say.

Josh decided to reach out to Heather and figure out this new known kid. We found out Josh did have a 10-month-old girl named Rose. We met the child and sat down with Heather to establish a plan. She really just wanted Josh’s money but now that he knew of his child it was all changing. Josh would slowly get comfortable with having a little girl than in a few months she would go back in forth between their two houses. I helped Josh make a room in his home for baby Rose and decorated it perfectly. Supporting Josh and this child was the best thing I could do to maintain our love.