So three months later, right before Valentine’s Day, I hugged Sadie as she stood next to Jarod. Standing on the other side of Jarod was his best friend, Riley. He was shy, but only around me, when I wasn’t in the room he was the funniest and the loudest boy in the world but as soon as I came close he shuts his mouth and blushes when I look at him or try to talk to him. He was cute, or at least I thought so. Everyone else says he’s ugly and that I’m crazy for thinking he’s attractive, but I still move towards him unconsciously.
That particular day he was acting normal, which was weird considering how weird he normally is around me. Jarod knew Riley better than anyone. I raised a questioning eyebrow at Jarod and in response he suddenly elbowed Riley in the ribs really hard, I thought he was about to fall over but surprisingly his scrawny frame held up against the large boy’s impact. Riley glared at him sharply and Jarod raised both of his eyebrows and motioned obviously towards me. I was still trying to comprehend what was going on. Riley sharply inhaled and walked slowly over to me. I was taken back and guessed in my head what was going to happen.
Riley rubbed his arm nervously and looked up at me quickly, making his eyes look big and innocent like a puppy’s but quickly looked down again like he thought it was disrespectful to look at my face for more than a brief second.
“Sydney?”
I paused for a moment and he did as well, it almost seemed like he was asking my permission to talk to me.
“Yes Riley”
His eyes shone with a quick flash of relief.
“Well I wanted to ask if you-“
He cut himself off and stared at his feet, I ducked my head so that I could look at his face.
“Ask if I what?”
Riley stood up straight and I just then realized that he was about three inches shorter than me. No wonder he was scared of me. He stared into my eyes and I was worried for a second by the intensity of his gaze.
“Will you go out with me?”
I didn’t hesitate with my answer.
“Yes.”
His face lit up and he had a giant smile on his young face. Suddenly he yelled extremely loudly and danced around in the hallway, screaming happily all the while. I wondered if he always did this when he was really excited. I looked to Jarod for an explanation and he shrugged his shoulders and pushed through the crowd forming to watch Riley .
“He always does this. Don’t worry.”
I stood in awe as I finally came to grips with the fact that I had my first boyfriend, I was in seventh grade so most girls had already had multiple boyfriends but I hadn’t found a guy yet, not until that day at least. I smiled to myself and felt my cheeks getting warm.

Six days later and finally Valentine’s Day had arrived. I had just walked into the school and I grabbed my backpack and shoved it into my half-locker. I slammed the door shut and turned to find Sadie.

“Hey Baby.” Riley slid out from behind the wall holding a red rose in his teeth, making his voice sound deeper and over exaggerating the serious romantic face he was making. You could see a big grin behind the flower. He laughed softly and grabbed the rose out of his mouth.

“Here you go, happy Valentine’s Day.” He flashed me a big smile and handed me the rose.

“Aww, Riley it’s beautiful.” I put my nose in the petals and thought about how many movies I’ve seen where the guy gives the girl a rose and she smells it. His smile grew and he sprang forward and wrapped his arms tightly around my sides and squeezed until I had a hard time breathing.
He was a twig alright but he sure had some arm strength. We laughed for a while and I looked back at the rose in my hand.
“Riley what’s this?” He looked curiously at the leaf I was pointing at. It had a bite taken out of it.
“Oh, that. Well I thought it might taste as good as it smells…”
We both broke into a fit of laughter.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
My eyes opened slowly and I cringed at the light streaming in my window. My phone was on the floor and I stretched my arm as I tried to reach it without falling off, but I did anyways. I didn’t check who was calling, I was too tired and my eyes would barely open.
“What do you want?”
“Good morning sunshine!” I looked at my phone screen. It was Riley.
“Riley it’s seven in the morning on a Saturday.”
“I know but I couldn’t sleep so I figured that if I wake up you wake up!”
“Well dang it Riley, now I won’t be able to go back to sleep.”
“Good!”
“Why couldn’t you sleep?”
“’Cause I was thinkin’ about yooouuu.”
“Well aren’t you a sweetie, but I do like to sleep thank you very much.”
“I know but I wanted to talk to my amazing and awesome girlfriend.”
I blushed as I pulled myself back on my bed and settled back under my covers.
“You made me fall off the bed trying to reach my phone.”
“Hahahahahahahahahahaha!”
“It’s not funny!”
“Yes it is.” His voice held no expression when he said that which was alarming because that boy always had emotions, almost too much of it. I could hear him chuckling in the background and I burst into laughter and he did as well. We faded into silence at the same time and starting laughing again at our timing.
My friend Lacey made it her sworn duty to walk behind us whenever we are together and when our fingers would lace together into a handhold she would scream and yell to everyone about how cute we were together and Riley’s cheeks always turned bright red and I always thought that was adorable.
I blush all the time in front of him and when he comments about it they turn into an even deeper crimson. He would always smile and tell me how cute I looked when I blushed and that in turn would make me blush even more. So it was a never ending cycle of blushing for me.

Everyone started pressuring us to kiss even in the early days in our relationship. Riley had never kissed anyone before and neither had I so we were both really nervous to even think about it, even though we would tell each other how much we wanted to kiss. It never happened. Whenever we would come close to kissing one of his friends would yell “Get some!!” and Riley’s cheeks turned red and he backed away looked scared. I wanted to kiss him. I really did, but he was nervous so I didn’t mind all that much.

Another month went by and still no kiss. But I was happy with him so it was okay. I did notice though, that he started to get distant. He stopped texting me and he stopped calling me and he barely ever talked to me in school anymore. Every time I would invite him over to my house to watch a movie or something he would always say that he was busy. I thought it was weird. I figured he didn’t like me anymore. I started to seriously consider breaking up with him so that I wouldn’t drag on a pointless relationship, even though I still liked him, a lot.

It was the second trimester of school and I had PE, which was at that time my least favorite class. I had a creepy teacher and only one friend in that class, Guin. The first day of the class we didn’t have to wear our athletic clothes, so Guin and I walked into PE wearing shorts and summer tank tops. We didn’t have a seating chart yet so the class formed into groups as everyone started conversing. Mr. McLeod walked in the gym from the boy’s locker room looking at his clipboard going over what I assumed assigned where we would be sitting for the rest of the school. His buggy old man eyes looked at me and Guin when we giggled at his creepy looking face.
“Alright class, I have our seating chart right here. Wait on the black line over there and I’ll go down the rows showing you to your spot. We all gathered on the line. We were all seventh graders so most of the boys were still the same height or shorter than the girls in the class. All except for a really tall guy standing at the opposite end of the line. As the boys chatted I noticed that their voices hadn’t deepened and I laughed to myself as I thought about how when we went to high school their voices would be deep and they would all be a foot taller than all the girls.
I told Guin and she laughed loudly as Mr. McLeod walked past to start assigning seats. He stopped for a moment and looked at Guin then continued walking down the line of students.
“Bryttany Amber, AJ Went, Cassandra Bulle...“ He walked down the first red line calling out students name and waited there until the kids removed themselves from their friends and sat down on the hard floor of the gym.
“Sydney Clifton.” I strolled over to my designated spot and sat down quietly.
“Zack Mason.” The teacher kept walking down the rows and I looked over as the kid, who I assumed was Zack, sat down next to me. It was the tall boy that I saw at the end of the line.
“Hi!” I said very enthusiastically to him. Zack looked over at me quietly and managed a small hand wave of recognition, then looked down at his big hands as he laid them down on his lap. I turned back forward slowly wondering if I did anything to make him hate me already, but I shrugged it away. I couldn’t have done something stupid that quickly.
Zack was quiet the rest of the period, but I caught him glancing over at me a few times. I could feel him looking at me and if I shot a glance back at him he snapped his head back like he was embarrassed to be caught staring at me. I giggled softly to myself at the thought of a big guy like him ever wanting to date a hyper active girl like me.
I walked beside Riley on the way to our buses and we both blushed as our hands interlocked. Beside this, we never made any contact, no more texting, no more calls and a significant drop in talking face-to-face at school.
We hugged goodbye when we got to my bus, and I watched him leave to find his own. His face showed boredom or perhaps slight regret but it changed dramatically to comedic and joyful when Jarod walked up beside him. Jealousy rose in my chest and I forced it back down as I picked an empty seat.
Riley didn’t want to be with me anymore, he just wouldn’t admit it.

Three more months went by and the school year was almost over. The days grew longer and the nights got shorter. I didn’t have PE anymore due to the schedule change with third trimester. I was still with Riley, although with each day he got more and more distant from me, which really pissed me off.

I walked with Guin to second period, which was art, the only class I’ve had with Riley all year. Two months ago I would’ve been overjoyed to walk into that class and see him sitting at a table knitting his own fingers together, but I had come to dread it.

Guin shot in the door after me, barely getting in before the bell rung. Riley looked up from his hands and locked his eyes on mine. He managed a quick smile in my direction then went back to staring at his interlocked hands. I could feel my face getting red and my expression became that of hatred. I walked briskly to my seat and ignored Riley when he tried to wave at me from across the room.

I tried to be a good girlfriend, really I did. I’d try to be cute and make myself noticeable to him but he never paid any attention.

Our art teacher, Mrs. Gill, told us to begin working on our projects. We were making paper Mache animals. As usual Guin and I sat down at Riley’s table. Jarod was in that class as well so we all sat in a group and worked on our art and talked, mostly talked. Jarod always tried to cheer me up about Riley and tell me that he still liked me, it helped a little but not to any significance.

Jarod looked from me to Riley as we both steadily ignored each other from across the table.
“So this morning me and Riley were at the bus stop,” Jarod said loudly. Riley and I both looked up from our projects and stared at him as he continued talking. “And he wouldn’t stop talking about you.” His words were pointed at me.
“Really?” I glanced over at Riley and noticed that he was blushing. He shot me an embarrassed look, but he looked back down at the table when he noticed that I was staring at him. I bet I was blushing too.
“Yeah.” Jarod smiled softly at me and looked pointedly to the left towards Riley and smiled even bigger. I was definitely blushing.

“Well I’m pretty sure I’m going to do it tomorrow.” Guin looked down at her painted black nails.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah he’s being a complete jackass!”
“Well yeah but I have you even thought about this?”
“Oh please, I’ve been trying to fix our broken relationship for months!”
“I agree with you, he has been kind of a jerk to you.”
“I know. I don’t know what else to do than to break up with him.”
Guin sighed and looked across the room over at Riley, who was sitting next to Jarod laughing hysterically. I tapped her arm and brought her attention back to our conversation.
“So tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, but what do I do I can’t hold hands with him like I usually do after this period, that would be weird if I’m gonna dump him tomorrow!”
“Just ignore him all day today so you can figure out what you’re going to do tomorrow, that’s what he does to you, he shouldn’t notice that much.”
So it was decided. I was going to dump Riley. No biggy right?
When we would normally walk out of art class hand in hand, I slipped out of the door before he could make it through the crowd trying to squeeze his way out of the room. Instead I walked with Guin and we skipped through the hallways holding hands and laughing. I looked back to see Riley pushing through kids trying to get up to me. I nudged Guin’s arm and she turned around to look at him too. He shoved his arm between two eighth graders and pushed them apart. He looked in our direction.
“Crap! Go, go, go!” Guin shoved my back and we broke into a run, twisting and dodging people as we ran together laughing into science class.
That whole day I ignored Riley. After school when we would usually walk to the buses I walked by myself. He ran up behind me and I turned my head over my shoulder to look at him. His face was red.
“Why’d you leave without me?” I could feel me face getting red. Lie, I needed a lie.
“I thought you had already left with Jarod.”
“Well I didn’t.”
“I can see that.” I tried to stop me voice from getting angry but by the end of our conversation I was starting to sound pretty bitter.
“Why are you so mad? Are you mad at me?” My stomach flipped. I was mad at him, but I didn’t want to tell him that.
“I’m not mad at you or anyone.”
“Okay good.” He flashed me a goofy sideways smile and skipped happily ahead of me and hopped onto his bus. I stared down at my feet admiring my red shoes as I walked onto the bus.
Tomorrow was going to be hell, but I couldn’t decide whether it would be worse for me or for him.

“Where is he?” I paced back and forth in front of the lockers while Sadie nervously rubbed her hands together.
“He’ll be here in a minute I’m sure.”
“Oh God Sadie I’m so nervous!”
“Me too, but do you want to deal with him any longer?”
“No, but I’m not happy to be breaking up with him.”
“Well he deserves it.”
“Yeah I guess so…”
“Here he comes!” My head snapped up. Riley walked over to his locker wearing his favorite Lakers jersey. My heart sped up. He walked away from us to talk to Jarod, they laughed at something for a minute then Riley turned back towards us.
“Hey!” He smiled and scooped me up in a big hug that picked me up off of the floor. My stomach flipped. He set me down gently.
“Riley I need to talk to you.” My voice shook. He tilted his head like a confused dog but follow as I lead him around the corner where there were less people.
“What’s the matter Sydney? You know you can tell me anything.” My stomach flipped again but this time more violent.
“Yeah, yeah I know Riley…” I rubbed the back of my neck and stared at my red shoes.
“I think we should break up.” His smile faded and for a second he looked like he was about to cry. Riley opened his mouth, then closed it and shrank back and looked at me with shining puppy eyes. I hate it when he did that.
“B-but... Why?” His voice cracked softly and I was on the verge of tears.
“Because we aren’t going anywhere with our relationship, it’s the same thing every day. I still want to be friends though.” His eyebrows furrowed together and I thought he was going to hit me. His chest swelled as he breathed deeply but harshly. His glare pierced my heart.
“Fine.” He started to walk away but I quickly stepped in front of him.
“Wait!”
“What?” I was taken aback by the force in his voice.
“Can I have a hug?” His eyes softened for a second and I could see my tears reflected in his brown eyes. Riley stepped forward and gave me a brief hug then turned and stormed away towards a crowd of his friends. I watched him leave. I closed my eyes, hoping that it would stop me from crying. It didn’t work. Sadie ran over to me and wrapped her arms over my shoulder.
“You did it! I’m so proud of you!” I looked over and saw Riley pushing his way through the crowd, not saying a word to anybody. Zack walked over to him and grabbed his shoulder and pulled him over. Zack whispered something in his ear and Riley nodded his head. Riley yanked his arm out of Zack’s big hand and continued to ignore all of his friends trying to ask him questions, which undoubtedly were something like “Did Sydney just dump you?” or “What happened with you and Sydney over there?” Riley kept walking and disappeared into a classroom. The door slammed behind him.
I cried even harder.
“Sydney what’s wrong?”
“Did you see his face Sadie? He looked like he was about to kill someone after I told him we were breaking up!
“He looked heartbroken to me.” My heart snapped. I looked at Sadie and she just shrugged sadly and put her index finger at the bottom of her eye and dragged it to her jaw imitating a tear falling down her cheek. I managed a quick smile but it soon faded.
I looked back at the crowd. Zack stood half turned towards me and was staring at me with a slight smile.

*****
“Hey can I talk to you.” I halted my conversation with Guin and turned to Zack and he led me to a place with less people.
“I was wondering if maybe you would-. “ I knew where this was going.
“If maybe you would want to go out with me.” I sighed and looked at Guin and made my eyes really wide and looked pointedly at Zack. She glanced at him then at me and me an “Oh shit!” face at me and I made an “Oh my God!” face back at her. I faced Zack again and his eyes were darting between Guin and me but he focused his attention back on me and made a desperately pleading face at me.
“Zack just wait okay?”
“For how long?” I sighed and searched for a reply.
“Wait till after the weekend at least okay?” A smile lit up his face making him look like an excited little kid, even though he was over six feet tall and towering over me.
“Okay! Thanks Sydney!” He turned and ran to his friends with the biggest smile on his face. I looked at him for a second and turned to find Guin standing on the other side of me. I jumped in surprise.
“Ah! Guin!”
“What did you tell him?!”
“I told him to wait till after the weekend.” She paused with an unbelieving expression glued to her pretty face.
“Oh my God. You’re gonna to be going out with Zack!” She said it like it was a crime.
“Yeah I guess. He’s a nice kid so what the heck. I’m single now I should be looking for a new love interest.”
“Well looks like you jest found one.” She stared over my shoulder and I followed her gaze to Zack who was excited telling his friends about what happened. I sighed. I had four days to enjoy being single. I shot a sideways smile at Guin as we walked down the hall to art class. The one class I had with Riley this trimester. Only a week left in the year. I hoped it would go by quickly.

“Can I talk to you?” It was Zack again. I was kind of getting annoyed with the fact that he asked to talk to me and didn’t just straight out ask me.
“Yes Zack?” He led me to where there were less people. He stood right in front of me and it made me a little uncomfortable by how close he was standing, I almost had to look straight up to see his face.
“So I was thinking that you know, because you’re single and all…”
“Zack we both know where this is heading.” His face turned red and he laughed softly to himself.
“Yeah, yeah, so, will you go out with me?”
“Sure.” I said angrily. I was getting irritated I wasn’t about to start with being polite. Zack’s smile grew immensely and he wrapped his big arms around my waist and picked me up off of the floor and held me in the air for a while. I was afraid he would crush my ribs. He set me down gently and walked away still smiling. I sighed and turned to go to class.
Riley stood beside Jarod across the hallway. Riley stared at me with burning hatred in his eyes and Jarod was trying to get his attention back on their conversation. Jarod followed his eyes until they were both looking at me. Jarod looked from me to Zack excitedly running around telling people about his new girlfriend. He seemed to shrink back and look at me with pity. I regarded them briefly while I watched my red shoes and moved slowly to art class.

I walked silently down the halls, avoiding eye contact with everyone, especially Riley. I stopped as Guin screamed at me from her science classroom. She ran out and gave me a tight hug and we both sat there giggling to ourselves. She let me go and gave me a “so give me the scoop” face.
“So what’s up with Zachary?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t seen him since he asked me out earlier.”
“Hey!”
Speaking of the devil. Zack strolled leisurely next to me and slowly wrapped his big arm around my small waist. Riley never did this.
I couldn’t help but to look surprised or scared even and that got a weird look from Guin, Sadie and Lacey. I tried to get the attention off of me.
“Wow you move fast.” Zack laughed softly and bent down to kiss my cheek. Riley never did this either. The peach fuzz on his face tickled. I commented and he just laughed again. Sadie looked around awkwardly.
“Well I have to go to class so--.” She took a step towards me and Zack’s hand tightened on my hip and he pulled me ever so slightly closer to him. I threw him a warning glance and pulled out of his grasp to hug Sadie. She stepped away looking warily at Zack. I turned back to him and put my little arms around his neck. I had to stand on the tips of my toes to be able to reach over him. He started to sway back and forth.
“I have to go to class too.” He smiled sweetly and kissed my cheek again.
“Alright, I’ll text you later okay?”
“Okey dokey.” I managed a small smile before he left. I spun around to head to class and found my path blocked.
“So, you and Zack huh?” I let out an angry sigh while I thought up a response.
“Yes Riley if you must know everything.”
“It’s common knowledge now.” That worried me. He shot me an evil looking smirk before turning on his heels and heading away in the other direction and left me with my head tilted and my eyebrows furrowed together in frustration. Why was he such a sore loser?

“I am so glad the school year is over. I can finally relax and have fun without Riley glaring at me 24/7.”
“I know me too, and I don’t have to see you and Zack making out in the hallways anymore.” Sadie giggled and lowered herself gently onto the grass. She tilted her head to look at me and smiled from ear to ear. I smiled back and her and pushed her side and she started to roll down the hill we were sitting on. Sadie screamed as her small frame rolled over and over violently. I plopped myself on the ground and rolled after her.
Sadie stopped at the bottom laughing but she started screaming again when I aimed myself to roll right over her. I slammed into her and we rolled a couple of more times that left us laying in the freshly mowed grass with lots of little cut pieces clinging desperately at our clothing.
“And you know that Zack and I haven’t kissed. We’ve only been dating for like two weeks.”
“I know but still, he’s all over you whenever he sees you.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of annoying, but I can deal with it.”
Sadie shrugged in response and propped herself up on her arms and slowly raised herself from the grass.
“C’mon, we’re gonna be late for the game.” She offered me her hand. I took and she pulled me off the ground. We went and got Sadie’s mom and told her that we had to leave or we would be late for Jarod and Zack’s baseball game. In the car I thought about texting Zack telling him that I would be at his game. Then I figured he would be in the field practicing and wouldn’t be near his phone. Oh well, I guessed I’d surprise him.
We pulled up in the parking lot and got the chairs out of the back of the car. I breathed in the smell of dirt and grass. Typical for a baseball field I thought. I slung the chair over my shoulder and skipped after Sadie.
Jarod was leaned against the mesh fence. He waved at me and I could see his smile grow as his gaze settled on Sadie. I categorized them as a near perfect couple. Jarod looked to his right and I thought he had a heart attack. His eyes grew wide and he looked at me with panic and pointedly looked to his right over and over. I tilted my head and stood on the tips of my toes to see what he was so worried about. I only saw an empty chair. His looks got more and more urgent and I got more and more confused.
Zack walked up to Jarod behind the fence and said something to him, Jarod shrugged and Zack lightly punched him in the arm and laughed. He hadn’t noticed me yet.
My stomach flipped. I had figured out what Jarod was so worried about. I found it hard to breathe. Dang it. Why did he have to be here?
I grabbed Sadie arm and jerked her back. I whispered in her ear and pointed to the presumably empty chair. Her eyes widened and we decided to keep our distance from it.
The game was just starting. Zack turned to grab his helmet and saw me. He stopped, holding his helmet in his big hands, looking at me curiously. I waved shyly and he smiled and slipped the helmet over his head and waved back at me, still smiling. He stepped back and grabbed something. He tossed it over the fence and whatever it was landed at my feet. I bent to pick it up.
It was Zack’s baseball cap. I smiled and put it on and pulled my ponytail through the hole in the back. Zack stood still looking at me expectedly. I gave him a thumbs up and his smile grew even bigger. He ran off and grabbed his bat and jumped on the base swinging the bat over his head, smiling all the while.
Our boys won the game. After they shook hands with the other team all the players poured out of the field and met up with their girlfriends, or their parents, depending on if they had a girlfriend or not.
I was surrounded by the smell of sweaty boys and the dirt on their uniforms. It wasn’t the best smell ever but it’s basically how the end of my soccer games end up, only it’s the smell of sweaty girls, wet grass and the mud stuck to our clothes, so I didn’t mind much.
Zack raised his head over the crowd and locked his eyes on me. He pushed through everyone and smiled brightly when he saw me. I shrank back as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me lightly off the ground. He set me down and slowly pressed his forehead against mine. My heart sped up, and not in the good way. His blue eyes stared into my green ones. His eyes looked down slightly.
My stomach flipped. He was staring at my lips. Oh crap. Zack eyes flicked shut. His face moved forward hesitantly and mine moved back. He stopped an inch away from my lips. His eyes opened and he stared at me with a face that made my heart melt.
“Sydney can I kiss you?” That caught me off guard. I stood there taken back a while, thinking about how to answer. For every moment I hesitated, the tighter his arms held me.
“No.” It was his turn to be caught off guard. I stepped back and found that his arms held me securely in his grasp. My heart sped up again.
Zack pulled me closer till I was pressed up against his chest and I could feel his hot breath on his face. It smelled like mint, as if he had just brushed his teeth.
“Please?”
“I don’t know why you’re asking me, do you need my permission to kiss me.”
“Well I don’t want to be rude.” He pulled me even closer. I put my hand on his chest and gently tried to push myself away. His arms held me tight against him. I stopped trying to get away from him but my heartbeat grew faster the closer his face got to mine. Our foreheads were pressed together again. He closed his eyes and I closed mine too. My thoughts spun inside my head as I waited for his lips to reach mine.
I jolted in surprise when I felt his lips kissing my cheek. I opened my eyes as he pulled away from me. His arms relaxed and I slowly slid out of his grasp. He let me go this time. He smiled sweetly at me and I felt my stomach flip again, but in kind of a good way. I smiled back at him and watched him walk away to the parking lot.