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Code: Beyond the Screen
November 29, 2014
Summary:
I was pulled from multiple strings of code to create a body that is more durable than steel, a storyline more interesting than anything in the “real world,” and an amazing set of powers and skills that would leave the mightiest kings and world leaders awestruck; except, all the avatars are like that. And so all this blather about being the very best and standing for justice and freedom and peace is a lie.
Janice R.
Code: Beyond the Screen
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This book has 31 comments.
I'm going to do my best to tell you how good this is, because even though it's not my personal cup of tea, it's obvious you're a very talented writer. You show rather than tell, you're very descriptive, and you have a good deal of suspense as well. The one thing I would suggest is writing perhaps less purple prose, but then again, it could just be me.
A very interesting and original take on MMO characters. I'm not gonna lie, at first I thought this would be some kind of SAO clone, like I've been seeing literally everywhere, but I was pleasantly surprised to find something I could find myself getting into with ease. Keep updating this, I believe it has potential.
CaseyChickenWang SILVER said...
on Feb. 22 2015 at 2:23 am
Dude, I loves this! It's so captivating and original. The biggest problem I see in teen writing is that they have a great plot that lacks detail but you don't seem to have that problem at all! I do agree with @CNBono17's comment on your characterization though. But other than that, this is an amazing piece of work and I hope you write more!
-L.k.R- said...
on Feb. 7 2015 at 7:07 am
Dear, @Jtatsu Despite all of what I've said, this story is beautifully written. I loved it. As in a matter of fact, I'm excited and anticipating the other chapters release. Again, cheering for you louder as I can. Peace.
This is really interesting and unique! I would love to read the rest of the story. You could expand the beginning, it would be great to learn more about the game-world. In the beginning, she was worried about tormentors coming into her room, but you never really tied that in. Those are just a few pointers, but it is already amazing! Great job!
Extraterrestrial SILVER said...
on Dec. 8 2014 at 8:16 am
Hi! This was something I thoroughly enjoyed; your story is original, creative, and a nice blend of fantasy and reality. It's a fresh take on the video-game formula, and it's so relatable to your readers. As an FPS and occasional RPG player, your story provides an interesting what-if scenario. (Although fortunately, it's only a what-if scenario. It's not real. Right? ...Right?) Anyway, I was pulled in by the very first chapter by your vivid use of imagery and description. Love the way you slowly introduced the foreign concept of future gaming to us, and your writing style is great as well. Also love the amount of thought and detail you put into your story. Code/Martha's internal turmoil is interesting to read. However, like the other reviewers stated, more details on Code/Martha's life would have been appreciated. I also think you could develop a little bit more on the trial, as the Gamemaster's change of mind comes off as rather abrupt. Besides that, lovely story. Great job!
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Dec. 6 2014 at 7:29 pm
Really great imaginary, and interesting story line! The whole gamemasters and id thing reminded me of an anime called SAO, which made me enjoy this piece so much more :) Your voice in this writing is quite profound, and I enjoyed this piece very much! ^_^ You should continue your writing, it is so wonderful :) 5 Stars!
Wow. This has an originality rarely seen in a piece of writing. I would have liked a little more detail about what Code (Martha?) does on a daily basis--who she fights, what her player does with her, what her story is in the game, etc--but that's my only issue. You did a fantastic job with this, and it's a great debut:) Keep up the good work; you've got the imagination for it!
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