Gangly buildings shadow each other, iridescent lights coming from the posters cling to the walls desperately trying to be the brightest. Drowning in their phones, people pass me oblivious to their surroundings, their eyes attached to the screen in front of them yet there are barely any crashes. People walk the same path every day at the same time and know where to go. Some leave the channel whilst others join it- everyone looking the same. The same dismal dreary outfits, the same emotionless express and the same brisk walk as if going somewhere- home or the buildings. As the sun sinks and the final golden light bleeds out into the street the atmosphere and energy shifts. Everything changes. The channel of people disperses, and the slamming of doors reverberate along the street. Soon it’s just me.
 
Is there anybody here anymore? The plague of darkness settles around me drawn to my loneliness in the middle of a wide empty street. Soon the darkness reigns completely as the lights vanish consumed by the night and the distant footsteps become quieter and quieter. Only the sound of the pounding of my heart and my quick raspy shallow breaths can be heard. Shadows play in front of my eyes but then they cry out and scream as the lights turn on again. Thundering against my head, my brain struggles to adjust to the lights, my eyes straining to see what’s around me.
 
Something inside of me cries out to move but it soon drowns out by the sound of heavy footsteps tearing down the street. As I turn towards the clamor a tsunami of people rushes towards me. They have no order, no straight flow, greed highlighted in their eyes, their brightly colored dramatic clothes and styled hair curled and wrapped around their heads going at all different angles. Their makeup is a mask delicately placed around their eyes with vibrant colors and a poisonous red on their bulbous lips, concealing their identity.
 
In my head I scream to run and run but no matter what I think my feet implants themselves on the ground, the heart of the city keeping me here as if it has now come to life in the midst of midnight. Music reverberates around, and the floor bounces beneath me feeding life to the city from the deafening music. The plague of shadows from the people creeps forward as if to taunt me that they are so close.
 
Run.
 
The one word I hear. This time my body awakens and steps back into life from the word and my legs frantically move away from the sea of people as they advance towards me. I realize I don’t know where I’m going. I stop to spin around frantically, finding a hiding spot. From the corner of my eyes, I spot my brother wearing a stained black top and different patterned trousers full of stitching. He motions for me to come. Hastily, I dash into a deathly dark alleyway as they rush past me. The walls are so close that it feels like they are pushing against me, trapping me, and a wave of sickness comes over me. A bony fragile hand reaches out to mine and I hold it while he smiles at me so sweetly as if we have a connection, an understanding of one another to escape the world outside. He looks at my other hand and the hope for food dies out. We have lived together since he was born, and we’ve never been separated, and we’ve never been found. It’s him and I against the world; trying to find any means to survive, moving from place to place. He takes my hand walks back to our home.
 
Come find me.
 
Every muscles tense as I feel blood rush to my head, pounding against my skull, heat radiating off me as sweat trickles down my arms. They found us.
 
Come find me. Come find me.
 
He clings to me harder, and I know he too can hear it. The words are thick and rich and inviting. Looking deep into his eyes I notice his pupils have dilated taking in the rich world outside the alleyway. My hands clutch onto his wrists, but he pulls himself away squirming in my grip.
 
“Fight it… please”
 
I can feel my eyes becoming red and sore from the feeling I might lose the only person I’ve ever had. My own frail hands can’t hold his much longer. I let go. I’m left on my own in the darkness. Buckling on the floor I collapse from exhaustion and hunger, but I can’t lose him just like I lost our parents to this city. So, I find myself in the street but I’ve never been here at night.
 
Sickly and sweet, opulent and wealthy the stench of privilege lingers in the air as I stroll through the endless streets. No. It's artificial. It's wrong. It's addictive. The addiction to find the voice grows as I pace through the labyrinth of the markets, high rise buildings and packs of people with black hoodies blending in with the ebony walls. My eyes widen to scan every part of this unreal place, to take it all in. Something is guiding me. Is it the smell of the smoke swirling around me, incasing me in a misty world? Is it the blinding iridescent light that pierce my eyes burning them inside out? Or it is me? My greed rising and gripping and entangling itself on my mind like a plague. I can't escape now. But maybe I don’t want to. My urge to fight it leaves.
 
Everything is different to before. The lights blind and consume the streets with their sickly-sweet colors. As the colors drown and dye the crowd, I almost feel drugged as the lights soon shine on me. But I don’t care. Not anymore.
 
Every step my greed seems to pulse and thrive in its awakening as I push through the doors. I can't stop now. I don't want to stop now. Music blares in my ears and I’m in the crowd, moving to the beat. My body twists and turns, muscles screaming as I inhale the smoke, the food, the greed. Standing on the top of a table, it waits for me. Golden liquid sparkling against the fluorescent lights. Time dilates. It is just me and it now. Like drowning under water, I go frantically towards it, gasping for it. Instinctively, as if I were born for this, I grab it and gulp it down. The liquid soothes me, coating my throat, dragging me further and further into a state of mind I’ve never felt before. I relish it. The stress of my world leaves me as I lose myself. More and more drinks come to me, drowning my heart in a sea of a poison. Yet I keep going. Jumping around, my feet slide and glide across the floor. I’m a born natural. Maybe I was born for this, to dance in a swarm of people, to drink till I drown and to live what I believe is life. Forever and ever and ever.
 
Then everything changes. A glass shatters into smithereens on the floor. Lights suddenly turned off leaving only darkness to take hold on the room. Red flashing lights outside pierce through the window and I hear screams. Instinctively, my hands rush to my ears, my heart pounding from the adrenaline. Confusion consumes me. I can’t see through the chaotic crowds and all I hear is echoing screams of despair and helplessness in my ears. Helplessly, I cry out in vain as my whole-body shakes and shivers all over from desperation and pain; I don’t want to be here anymore. My hands clasp my head as I realize what I’ve done, shame courses through me as I heave up all the drink, greed and bittersweet food in front of me. Gripping the cold stone floor, I crawl desperately towards the light from the outside but gruff hands grip my arms and heave me near the exit where red light bleeds through the open door.
 
My body collapses and breaks succumbing to tiredness, so my legs drag behind me with my head hanging with despair. I crane my neck up. Every bone clicks like a rusty old machine waking up from being still for so long. Darkness looms ahead as they push me into a truck. Frantically, my cries are alienated as I cannot be in the dark again. Not anymore. Let me out please… please… I want to go home. My body seems rigid fear as it wheezes, and my eyes sink in the poison and the shadows. My cries stop as I feel a soft gently hand on mine; the red lights outside circle around the area and I wait for them to come to us to see who it is. But when the light comes, I have to look down.
 
Endless pools of grey stare into my eyes. The darkness reigns again as I lose sight of him and a small tear falls from my eyes as I know we both fell for it. It seems everyone can- rich or poor, young or old. I feel his soft touch on my hand; gingerly, I wrap his hand in mine feeling a small weight on my shoulder and a slither of warmth comes to me as we are together again. The heat from his body calms me. I don’t feel so alone anymore. Abruptly, the truck lurches forward, its engine growling fiercely and its headlights coming to life. We fly through lane after lane of the markets, high rise buildings and stands knowing we are leaving this place. I can feel his raised hairs against my own and gently rub his arm realizing he must be more petrified than I am as everyone else towers over him knowing he is powerless to stop anything that happens. The others in our truck have their heads bent down in submission to the pain, solitude and the future to pay for what they… we have done.
 
Ever so slightly, I stand to see the world roll by us, through the bars at the sides, and gaze at the city fading into the distance. My little brother stands up on the bench to gaze with me until the city is a mere speck in the sky. Demonically, I feel the city, the drugs, my gluttony screech to come back but never in my life have I wanted to be so far away from something. Slowly, its hold on me seems less intense as it is finally consumed by the vast empty stretch of the night. I have one last chance to protect us both.
 
Don’t go back again.