Slain | Teen Ink

Slain

September 11, 2013
By EbonyKnight BRONZE, gothenburg, Nebraska
More by this author
EbonyKnight BRONZE, Gothenburg, Nebraska
1 article 2 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;People, I&#039;ve discovered, are like layers of secrets. You believe you know them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes, you decide to trust them. <br /> <br /> -Veronica Roth


Once in a house, on a hill, a mile out of town was a humble businessman and his wife, Maria, and two children, Rory and Maggie. Almost everyone loved this cute little family. They were envied by many. But that was a month ago. Now the businessman lived alone, and it was no accident.



“Yes. Yes, this place would suit a single man with no kids.” David sighed, “Someone like me. With no wife, no kids, and no more room for heartbreak.” Indeed, David Nagle-Stuhr was a man who spent his days alone with no one to support but himself, but he never wanted it that way.

“Would you like to talk about it, Sir?” the real estate lady, Moira, asked, concerned for this poor man who seemed to always be out there, as if traumatized.

“No, it’s fine. Give it a few years and it might blow over.”

“By the sounds of it, Sir, I highly recommend that you tell someone before you do something you’ll regret.” She sat him down on the stairwell and set herself beside him.

“Okay, but I’m only going to say it once, so listen.”


It was an ordinary Tuesday night. David was at work as Maria put Rory and Maggie to bed. Their red shiba, Foxy, laying at the foot of Rory’s bed sound asleep. Then, right before Maggie was asleep, the phone rang from the living room.

“Alright, Mags, go to sleep. I’ll see you in the Their red shiba, Foxy, laying at the foot of Rory’s bed sound asleep. Then, right before Maggie was asleep, the phone rang from the living room.

“Alright, Mags, go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” She turned to leave when Maggie sat up and caught her retreating hand.

“Don’t answer it, Mommy. Please?” Maria could have listened, should have listened, but didn’t think anything of it at the time. So she shushed her daughter and went to answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello.” A deep, gruff voice said. It sounded as if someone was speaking through one of those voice changers. “How do you like your children: sliced…or diced?” The girls screamed from the bedroom and Foxy yelped. Maria dropped the phone and ran in there in time to find her little twin, 7 year old girls ripped apart like you would do with an old raggedy shirt. The dog just lay motionless with a stab wound; dead. The killer turned to face her, slowly, intimidatingly.

“Too late. The decision has been made for you.” Then Maria’s face grew white and horrified as she was stabbed, and entered the endless sleep; never to return.

As David was getting home, the windows were dark and the door was unlocked. ‘She must be waiting in the bedroom for me.’ He thought to himself, but that conclusion was soon gone as he saw the shattered phone on the floor. “Maria? Maria, I’m home. Maria?” But no reply came from the shadows. He tried calling again, but to no avail. Not even the dog or the girls came to greet him. “Strange.” He walked into the bedroom. Maria wasn’t in the bed. Nor was she in any other part of the room.

“Maria, this isn’t funny.” He said. But he confirmed it by walking into the girls’ room. All he saw was shadows, some darker than others, but ominous shadows all the same. Then he flipped on the light.


Some hours later, David was juggling officers, private inspectors, and some other people he couldn’t put a name to. It was all a blur to him anyway; telling them what he found. His girls ripped to shreds, his wife as pale and lifeless laying awkwardly on the hardwood floor, his dog hanging halfway off the foot of the bed and halfway on it. It was a sickening sight that he was forced to see in his mind over and over again. No one seeming to care how it affected him, just caring that they got something to do, in other words, they were still yearning that action-packed life of police work like in the movies.

“For the millionth time, I came home and saw the broken phone, then went into our bedroom, and after that I got worried and went into my daughters’ room! And I found them all dead, two shredded and two stabbed. That’s all I know!”

“Please, Sir, can I ask you to describe how you found your wife?” The officer named Billy Bob Joe, asked, writing as he listened. “Okay, she was stabbed in front and was as pale as a ghost and ridden with horror. Laying in an awkward position, with one leg folded outwards and one straight. Am I getting this right, Sir?”

“Listen, Officer, my wife, kids, and dog are dead, and you people are making a stupid payday off this. So I’m going to ask you once more, and only once more: back off and leave me alone!”

“Sir,…mind if I call you David?”

“Yes, I mind if you call me David! Whatcha think this is? NCIS? Whodunnit? Do you think this is a game? Huh? Do you?” David screamed.

“No, Sir, we don’t think this is a game, and we especially know this might not be on the television. But we need you to relax and bear with us. We have seen many cases like this and we know how you feel. Just go with it.”

“You have no freaking idea how I feel! My family was just murdered in cold blood and you want me to relax? Huh huh! There is NO way that is gonna happen! Either you’re helping me or you’re hurting me. And right now you’re hurting me. And another thing? I’m NOT going to ‘go with it’!”

“Is there a problem over here?” the chief walked up to them with a look of importance on his brow.

“Yes, there is. I just lost the only family I had left and you guys are rubbing it into my face!” He spit as he blew his top off even more now that the chief was finally involved. There was no way that this thing was going to blow over any time soon.


“Every time they asked me to repeat what I saw was like a kick to the crotch. Like they were mocking my very words, the very souls of my family.”

“So what’s the story between you and your family?”

“They were all the family that I had. I was orphaned and never adopted. I went out on my own, trying to find my parents, siblings if I had any, only to find that I was an only child and my parents had died in a car wreck before bringing me home. I was sick with a fever so they had to leave me there until I was better. And no one wanted me. I was always the ugly duckling, the odd man out.”

“Must’ve been a rough life.” Moira was starting to feel sorry tor this sad man.

“Yep. But this was the absolute worst my life’s been, ever.”


The police finally left about ten hours later as expected, though not wished. He was set up in a hotel for until he could find a new house. He couldn’t do anything except eat and lay on the bed. The news channels were all filled with his family’s death. Everywhere he went, people always said something like: “I’ll be praying for you” or “I’m so sorry, no one should have to go through that”. He was trapped by his own grief.

He didn’t ask for this. He didn’t ask the killer to come into his home and kill the only family he had ever known, and loved. Nothing was okay anymore. Everything was out of place and layered and layered with his grief. No one knew how he felt, no matter what they had claimed. They just didn’t.



“You really have no idea how many of us have been trying to crack this case with no sleep.” The secretary at the police station wasn’t being very helpful, at all.

“No. You really have no idea how many nights have gone sleepless for me since my family died.” David was fed up with the police, but had to find out who, of all people, killed his wife; his kids; and his dog. They had no idea. They had no intention of helping him. Only making themselves look good. David needed this justice. He needed to avenge his family.

“I’m sorry we cannot help you further.” The secretary looked back down at her work.

“No, I’m sorry if you have another murder within a few days, for it might be me.” And before she could stop him, David Carl Nagle-Stuhr stormed off through the doors. He would get his revenge, one way or another.

It was a rainy day on main street in New York City. A woman walked briskly toward her penthouse apartment in her black wool coat and tan heels. Her black and pink flowered skirt hung just below her knees. She had a family, her husband, Nathan, worked as a publisher, while she was a stay at home mom. They had three kids together, Kenny, Liz, and Paige. Their dog was a Scotland terrier named Boo-boo.

Turning into the door she used her key card to get in. Crossing the lobby, the clerk at the front desk looked up with a smile and said, “Good evening, Mrs. Bent”

Returning the gesture, she headed to the elevator and swiped her card again. The elevator went up to her home and they opened in her living room.

“Kids, I’m home!” No answer. “Kids? Are you there?”

A shaky voice piped up. “Y-yes, Mom, w-we’re in here.” She went into the room that her little girls shared to find all three kids in on the bed with the light off. Huddling together, staring at the closet. Boo-boo growled in that same direction. To her, they looked like they were scared of her, but that’s just how it looked, because the closet…was right next to the door that she was standing in.

She shouldn’t have looked, wouldn’t have looked, but a certainty, that her children were in danger, compelled her to look that way. A figure loomed in the doorway to the closet. The figure looked all black there was a mask over the nose, cheeks and mouth, and sunglasses were over the eyes. Something bulged from under the mask.

“I’ll give you the same question. Do you like your kids, sliced...or…diced?” the voice sounded manipulated, somehow. Then, the looming figure pinned the defenseless woman to the wall and stabbed the dog, who had started barking at the stranger hurting his mistress.

“Boo-boo!” Paige shouted. She wrenched away from Kenny to grab the hurting terrier, but getting killed instead. “No!” the other two screamed in unison. Their mother crying heavily, choking, suffocating, seeing her baby girl dying before her eyes.

“Stop! Enough! Please!” But it was no use. Grabbing her foot, the intruder dragged little Liz to him or her, making her scream all the while, until she was impaled by the knife. She didn’t die instantly, so the woman watched her little girls fight back pain at their best. Failing all the while.

“Come here, Kid!” the person in black shouted, sounding enraged. Almost insane.

“Never!” But that wouldn’t happen. The stranger let loose for only a second and the mother ran and tried to guard all that was left of her children with her life.
“Please. Don’t do this, he’s only a child.” The murderer wouldn’t have it, he or she shoved the woman out of the way and quickly stabbed Kenny in the chest. “No!!”
“Don’t worry, your death will be slow and painful.” He or she jabbed the dagger into her stomach and forced her to watch as her killer took off the things over the face, the hair was short, guy short. She toppled to the floor as he shredded her children. And then she blacked out and woke up on the other side.

“I wonder if Davie still remembers me?” Nathan Dosh said to himself in the empty living room of his house where his family was killed. The police were outside, waiting to take him to the hotel at which he would be staying. He was just “saying good-bye to the old place, after all, now all it was, was a crime scene. Just another house where a murder took place. Not his house, not the house of his deceased family, just another murder house.
Nathan sighed, got up, and went outside after kissing his hand and putting it on the wall. He sure was going to miss this place. He already missed his family, because they were the only family he had. After all, he was an orphan, too. He and David had actually grown up together. They were best friends up until they lost contact after moving out of the Nebraska State Orphanage. He walked outside.
“All right, Coppers, you can take me to the hotel now.” They put him in the back of the police cruiser and drove off to the hotel at which he would be staying.

It was a quiet day as David got ready to go investigate his family’s death. He hadn’t the slightest clue as to whom would do this to an innocent man who hadn’t had a family his entire life. The phone rang.
“Hello?” David answered.
“Davie? Davie Nags?” A voice sounded through the phone. “It’s Nathan Dosh. From the orphanage, we grew up together.”
“Nate?” David asked, surprised. “Wow, how long has it been? I mean, how are you?”
“Twelve years, Davie. And really, I’ve been better. Way better.”
“What happened? Tell me, Nate.” Nathan didn’t answer for the longest of times.
“I got married and had three kids. Then…then…they were murdered, Davie. I lost my only family other than you. Cause you are a brother to me. You’re the only family I have now. I lost them, just like you lost yours”
Now the two men stood in silence at the thought of their lost families. All they had now; was each other. No one could tell them different. They were brothers, they were family, not by blood, but by heart. They grew up together. They stayed that way for about five minutes. Not saying anything. But in a way, they weren’t saying nothing either.
“Meet me here, we could track this fiend and bring him or her to justice and then maybe we can make new lives again.” Nathan suggested after a while. “I can’t leave the town. I can’t leave my family, dude. But I know that we can do this. If we do this together.”
“Yeah. You’re right, Nate. I shouldn’t sit around moping over it. I should be out there avenging my family as well as yours.” David agreed. “I’ll meet you at the airport in a week.”

The plane finally took off going from Nebraska to New York. David was going to crack this case and everyone on the plane was tense, as if something was going to happen. “Oh yeah. It’s nine-eleven.” He reminded himself. And he was tense too, but not for the same reasons.

The plane landed, jolting David awake. Had he fallen asleep? The rest of the passengers relaxed a little, but he didn’t. The man next to him tapped his shoulder.
“You know the flight’s over right? I mean nine-eleven isn’t but this flight is and there weren’t any explosions.” Great just the kind of guy that everyone hated being around because they explained everything they said, relevant or not. “Arthur, Arthur Freeman. In case you were wondering.”
“Why you heading to New York?” David asked.
“Visiting an old friend of mine named Nate Dosh, he invited me up because my family was murdered just like his.”
“Wait. Were you an orphan?”
“Yes.”
“Were you ever adopted?”
“No.”
“What orphanage did you grow up at?”
“Nebraska State, I was the boy at the back of the room, though, I didn’t have friends growing up. Why?”
“Your nickname was Artie Freeze and the only two kids that would actually talk to you were Nate Dosh and David Nagle-Stuhr. Am I right?”
“Yes, but how do you know?” Arthur thought on it a moment, cause David wouldn’t tell. “Davie? Davie Nags?”
David nodded then held up a fist. Arthur pounded it. “You finally get it.”
“Wait…does this mean that your family’s dead too?” Arthur gave a concerned look as David nodded. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, like I said, I lost my family, too. So I know, actually know, how you feel. You’re not alone anymore.”
The passengers got up and started grabbing for their bags and David and Arthur did too. “Well, Artie-ole-pal, I guess we should get off and hail a cab after getting our luggage.”
“I’ll agree with that, dear old friend. I don’t want to imply that you’re old it’s just that…” Arthur chuckled. He really was the kind of person to explain everything that he said, the unfortunate part was that I knew him well enough to know that once he starts, he won’t stop.
As the cab pulled up to the hotel, a man, other than the bell hop, was in front of the doors, appearing to be waiting for something. We stepped out of the cab with our bags and the man’s eyes widened.
“Davie? Artie? Could that really be you?” Nate spread his arms wide.
“In the flesh.” David replied, giving Nathan a bear hug.
“Well, technically, we not only have flesh, but we have bones and muscle and tissue and…”
‘Man! Artie still talks way too much.’ David and Nathan thought to themselves. ‘I guess some things don’t change.’ When they were done with their thoughts, Arthur was still rambling on with organs and such.
“So!” Nathan clapped his hands together, stopping Arthur’s explanations of the human structure. Saving all of their ears (bell hop included). “What do you say we head up to my room before you check in.” They all agreed, nodding their heads and mumbling “yeah, yeah” all the while.

Nathan opened the door and led them all in. The two visitors set their stuff on the bed. Arthur sighed sadly. On the way over, he told David about his family and what they were like. He was divorced, but he had custody of his two kids, Melena and Katie. They had a Siamese cat since Katie was allergic to dogs. His ex had remarried and had five more children with her widower. Her name was Delaney and she was also killed. The cat, too.
“I’m sorry, Artie.” Nathan put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder and lightly patted it. “That’s why we’re here, actually. All of us have lost our families in the past few weeks, though…David, wasn’t yours on the tenth?”
“Yes.” David agreed.
“When was yours, Artie?”
Arthur hesitated. “It was the day after David’s.”
“And you live where exactly?” David was taken aback by the fact that the killer went to Arthur’s the day after his. Considering it was night when the police assumed that he/she killed his family.
“I live in Florida. On the very tip of the furthest key.”
“Whoa!” Nathan stepped backward in shock. “How could the killer be that fast in traveling? Unless it’s: A: more than one killer, B: teleportation has been invented and we are the last to know, or C: we’re just imagining this whole thing. I wanna say it’s C.” He put on a wacky smiley face and shook his head quickly. The other two shook their heads in dismay.
“It’s A, you blockhead!” David took Nathan by the collar and smacked his face, back and forth five times over.
“I agree, David. There is no possible way for it to be B or C. We know what we saw. We saw them dead, and really…there is no likely explanation for B to be even remotely possible. I mean…”
‘Who the crap cares?’ Nathan asked himself in his mind as Arthur rattled on about who-knows-what’s-it. For all Nathan cared, Arthur could have changed the subject to big foot without warning. That’s the type of person he is. Luckily, a knock arose at the door. Knock, knock, knock. David went to open it. The three men couldn’t believe their eyes. It was…Alice.
“Alice. What…why are you here?” David asked. His eyes grew wide at seeing how beautiful his childhood crush had become over the years.
“Haven’t you heard? My family was killed to by a dastardly fiend who chopped up my child. And ran my husband through.” Alice said sweetly. She had been a nerd in her youth, the kind that knew those big words that drove everyone mad trying to figure out what she meant.
“You too?” Nathan couldn’t believe his ears. Someone dared to kill her family? This was unfathomable.
“Yeah. I guess no one takes pity on the sweet little nerdy girl anymore.” Alice looked at the floor as she sadly said this.
“Maybe not the killers, but,” she looked at David. “we certainly do, Alice.”
“Thanks, Davie.” She kissed his cheek. ”That helps a lot.” She leaned in to whisper in his ear. “I need to talk to you later. You see, mi sono innamorato a long time ago. Might I come it?”
“Of course.” Nathan said. David moved out of the doorway for Alice to enter the room. “So, Ali, where’d you move to after you got out?”
She looked at him and chuckled. “Italy.”
“Say a phrase!” Arthur chimed.
“Lo scrivo libri while ho tinto I miei capelli neri.” The boys on the bed gave a quizzical look. She sighed. “David? Would you like to translate?”
“Oh yeah, um, ‘I write books while I dyed my hair black.’” David blushed, as he’s had a crush on her since a week after he met her. Her long black hair was always tied back in two braids and her green eyes, reminding him of a meadow, was always tucked away behind her thin glasses.

They were asleep in their bed, the baby in the other room. Lucy Montgomery was cuddled up to her husband, not wanting to leave his side after the restless night that they just had. The baby cried. She grunted, still not wanting to get up. Her husband, Korey, sighed and got out of bed. He pulled on a pair of boxers and pajama pants, so the neighbors outside the open living room window wouldn’t see him completely naked.
He got to the door, but the baby had ceased it’s crying without the gradual lowering whimpers. Korey didn’t think anything of it. He shrugged and went back to the bedroom. Climbing into bed, Lucy looked tiredly up at him.
“That was quick.” She mumbled.
“It wasn’t even me. He stopped crying on his own.” He really should have gone in to check on his only child, perhaps he would have seen him alive one last time, or possibly even saved him. And for the record, the baby didn’t stop crying on his own.

“Oh, wow.” Moira was speechless. Five families destroyed in only a few days. “So Lucy and Korey were both unadopted by the time they were ready to go off on their own? And ended up getting married?”
“Yes. They were a couple of my old friends.”
“Please go on. This is getting quite intense.” So David kept going with his story.

The next day at noon, Lucy went to the nursery to check on her son, only to be heard screaming at a horrible sight. She had collapsed at the side of the crib, crying, by the time Korey got there. The neighbors heard and decided to come see about the commotion. What they ended up coming to see, was a baby, torn and stabbed and sliced at the neck and belly. Not a sight for adolescent eyes.
They whispered amongst themselves about the morbid scene until the police arrived. By then, Lucy looked terrible, though she was all cried out. Her husband was trying to look strong for her, and only her. They questioned to their hearts’ content, but even after they left, it still felt like a chop to the throat.
They, too, were questioned by the police, but not only them. They were interviewed for CNN News. Again, it felt like a kick in a very bad spot. But even that wouldn’t hurt as bad as this did.
Two weeks later, they hopped on a plane to the big apple to meet up with a few old pals from the orphanage. It wasn’t a happy reunion, but it was filled with long hugs, nonetheless. Each had a morose face, though each a little different. Half of the gang was back together already. If only, it hadn’t been for the reason it was. Everything was wrong and everyone there knew it. So many people had passed them by and granted them condolence after condolence for one reason or another.
“Hey, Alice. It’s nice to see you again after all these years.” Lucy said, greeting her roommate.
“Hi, Lu. Though it isn’t a nice way to meet.” Alice replied. Lucy nodded. Nathan came over and put his arms around them.
“Hello, lovely ladies, how’s the evening, and how was that flight by the way?”
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Cupid trying to be the cute, obnoxious little player he was when he was young. I’m afraid you’re a tad rusty.” Korey said, putting his arm around Nathan’s shoulders and pulling him, so that they were face to face. Leave it to Korey to keep him from being the player he always dreamed of being. The girls faked a swoon, and then laughed. Something that all of the girls back then would do at the sight of Korey. After all, he was the “hunk” of the orphanage.
“No. Just trying to get back in touch with my wild side, you know, for when I start dating again.”
“That’s what I thought.” Korey glared at him square in the eye, making Nathan uncomfortable.



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This book has 4 comments.


on Sep. 20 2013 at 8:41 am
EbonyKnight BRONZE, Gothenburg, Nebraska
1 article 2 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;People, I&#039;ve discovered, are like layers of secrets. You believe you know them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes, you decide to trust them. <br /> <br /> -Veronica Roth

Thanx 4 the feedback, and yes this is the outline, I'm still working on chapters to come. I'll b sure to fix some of that stuff that you caught. thanx again.

None0 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 19 2013 at 7:31 pm
None0 BRONZE, Bellevue, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Believe in the ideal, not the idol.&quot; - Serra

When I read this, I kept getting the feeling that this was just an outline. I mean, some parts are very well developed, like the dialogue, but other parts I feel need some expanding. Go further in-depth on the description. It might also be wise to give the reader a better sense of the time, or use some transitional sentences whenever a new scene starts so the reader doesn't get confused (I got used to it by the second chapter, but the first one confused me a little). Other than that, maybe use more showing language than telling language. Good luck on your writing.

on Sep. 16 2013 at 7:55 am
EbonyKnight BRONZE, Gothenburg, Nebraska
1 article 2 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;People, I&#039;ve discovered, are like layers of secrets. You believe you know them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes, you decide to trust them. <br /> <br /> -Veronica Roth

Thanx, i'm really enjoying writing this, even i don't know who did it, tho i have an idea. thanx again, yur pretty good 2, btw.

on Sep. 16 2013 at 12:00 am
JoyMason PLATINUM, Arapahoe, Nebraska
25 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
You, he who subdued me, be not insolent, forget not the beauty of virtue.

This is amazing, you r really good, this is actually kinda freaky how the killer tore up the kids like old shirts, don't let it end there, tell us who did it!