Okay, here's the deal: for my English class I have to write a letter of concern on a topic that really interests me. Sounds simple enough, right? There's just one problem, though: what does a high school sophomore like me have to be concerned about? I mean, sure, I could always write to the principal and say I'm dissatisfied with the excessive amounts of homework I've been receiving lately. Yeah, he'd LOVE that! I'd be out on my tail in a second. At least that way I'd have no more homework. But seriously, what do I have to be concerned about when my life consists of nothing but homework, music, and frozen yogurt? Hey, that's it!

Dear Sirs,

Your frozen yogurt restaurants use Styrofoam cups, and I'd just like to tell you it really pisses me off!

Okay, Okay!

Dear Sirs,

It has come to my attention that your restaurants utilize poly-styrene cups for the purpose of serving frozen yogurt...

Nah, that's too stuffy! This is impossible! If I want to make this letter sound official, I can't say what I really feel. Well, what exactly do I feel? Basically my feeling is that frozen yogurt is a gift from the gods, and serving it in something as harmful as Styrofoam is sure sacrilege!

But why exactly is frozen yogurt so great? For one thing, it tastes just like ice cream, but without all the fat and calories, and that's just great if I want to drown my sorrows in double-dutch chocolate, 'cause I won't hate myself in the morning.

But probably the best use I've found for frozen yogurt is as a pain-killer. Yeah, that does sound a little bizarre, but when I get my braces tightened, nothing soothes the excruciating pain better than the chocolatey coolness of a yogurt shake washing over my gums. Nothing, that is, besides aspirin. But let's face it, frozen yogurt tastes a lot better! In fact I...

"Yes, Mom, I'm working!"

Okay, enough dilly-dallying. Back to my letter of concern:

Dear Sirs,

(No, make that...)

Dear Sir or Madam,

(Yeah, go with the times!)

The recent exposure of the ...(Where's my thesaurus? Ooo, I like this word!)...detrimental effects of polystyrene foam on the environment has caused a great deal of...of...(Ah, rats!)

Oh Wondrous Gods of Frozen Yogurt,

Hear my humble cry, I beseech thee! Wouldest thou ravage thy land with an abundance of evil waste to remain eternally in landfills.... n