The Trainwreck of Technology

Although I really value the concepts associated with transcendentalism, oftentimes I find it difficult to truly embrace transcendentalism because of the culture and the influence of our modern world. In many ways, our modern world has taught people to operate out of logic and reason instead of emotion and intuition. Women especially are taught to bottle up their emotions and put on a strong front. Acting out of logic is what makes someone “intelligent” whereas acting on your emotions is what makes someone “weak”. Personally, I am an extremely emotional person and my emotions tend to drive many of my actions. Still, there is always a voice in the back of my head telling me not to get “so worked up”.  This past Thanksgiving, sitting around the rectangular dining room table with the smell of turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing all lingering in the air, I was also accompanied by the whimpering of my puppy who was trapped upstairs. So naturally, when I physically couldn’t take it anymore, I released him from the shackles of his room upstairs. I sat him on my lap, gently stroked his fur, and cut up little pieces of turkey to keep him distracted and that is when the chaos broke loose. My dog got a little too eager, leaped onto the table and began licking people’s plates clean, as if he was a vacuum, trying to get every last morsel of food. My grandpa looked around and chuckled, “women”, he sighed, “they always have to make a mess of things.” Logically, it would have been smarter to think about the consequences of what would have happened when I brought my dog downstairs, but in today’s society there is such a double standard around emotion in relation to gender, if it were to be my dad or brother who brought my dog downstairs, they would be “kind” and “sensitive” whereas I was thought to be “dramatic” and “bothersome”. Therefore, as much as I am compelled by emotions, sometimes I think it is easier to conform to the norms in society in order to satisfy others by resisting acting emotionally and insead using logic to solve problems. 

Unfortunately, frequently I succumb to conformity in order to prevent confrontation in my life, contrary to my beliefs in the importance of individuality. Growing up in Scarsdale, sometimes it seems like there is only one “right” way to think. This past semester I took the Sexual Politics course, a class in which we debated controversial issues that were a matter of sexual politics, hence the name. On the very first day of class, we established that this should be a community free of judgment, where people were able to speak their mind. But yet many of our debates and discussions became one sided. That’s not to say that the opinion was always unanimous, but there was one side that was “correct”. Very soon I learned that if I did not agree with this “correct” opinion, I was to keep my mouth shut. At the beginning of the semester, we had a debate over abortion. Living in such a liberal community, anyone who showed a sliver of support for the pro-life ideology was attacked. From there on out, I decided that if I did not share the popular viewpoint, I would keep quiet. It simply wasn't worth the scowls or the whispering. This concept of conformity is not just pushed in the Scarsdale community but in the media as well, where people are often swayed by the media and their beliefs. With the use of social media, it has become even easier to be influenced and absorbed in social media culture. 

I am so focused on social media that it can distract me from being present while spending time in nature. A perfect example of this was over December break when I went to Antigua. My family and I spent our Christmas in Antigua at Shirley Heights, a cliff that overlooks the ocean. On Christmas Eve, when my family and I went, there were a variety of different bands playing traditional Antiguan music. The idea was that people would be able to enjoy an Antiguan barbecue while watching the sky slowly shift into the dark of night, all while listening to the various bands performing. Yet, even with this incredible and unique experience, I choose to watch it all happen through a screen. When the orange and yellow tones began to streak the sky, I was trying to adjust the exposure on my iphone so that the colors could be picked up on camera. When the bands started to play, I was trying to capture a video without excess background noise. When the food was served, I looked for the perfect angle that would make the food look most appetizing. It was a vicious cycle. Once I got the picture I was never happy. A stranger could be removed in the back, the lighting could be better, or maybe I just needed to try a different background. I was always striving for perfection because to the outside eye, I wanted my life to look perfect. I have become so accustomed to whipping out my phone to document every small detail of my life that I am never truly present anymore, which is such a sad reality. The only time I have the opportunity to truly escape is every summer when I leave my phone in my room, not to be touched for seven weeks.. I am able to enjoy meaningful moments with my friends without a camera. Arguably, making these memories even more intimate. It is during these seven weeks every summer that I feel the most in touch with nature and I am surrounded by it constantly. In my everyday life with the constant activities and stress of school, I do not prioritize spending time outside and yet even when I do, my phone always wins over mother nature. 

In an ideal world I am a transcendentalist. In today’s world, I am not. I want to seek transcendence but I don't think that is possible.  I would love to live in a world where I solely did things that brought me joy but that has consequences. Scarsdale especially promotes one lifestyle and one path and straying from that path is simply not allowed. In reality, humans by nature crave validation and safety for themselves and I am no exception. The concepts of civil disobedience, individualism, and acting solely for oneselves are things associated with risk as they oppose society’s norms. I find technology, social media especially, to be one of the most debilitating aspects of our modern world that stops me from completely transcending. At the beginning of this year, I tried going one day without my phone and without social media. It was impossible. Not only was my urge to use my phone so great but my mom insisted I use my phone to text her and my friends had asked why I hadn’t answered them all day. For me, the only way for me to fully embrace transcendentalism is in a world of transcendentalists, until then I am but a pawn to the modern world. Oftentimes I tell my mother how much I wish that I had grown up in her generation before the age of technology. I so desperately would love to chuck my phone out a window, but that comes at a huge cost in today's society. I am left to feel like I am powerless and a prisoner to my screen and there is nothing I can do about it but allow it to completely consume me.