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Saying Goodbye
Saying goodbye to people we love is generally an event that cause us to have strong feelings of sadness or remorse, but do you ever feel like it's becoming easier and easier to say goodbye? I struggle with this. Being a MK I have moved a lot and said goodbye to many people. Sometimes I feel uncaring and hard, but it is almost like I am becoming used to this. Does that mean it's right or find to feel this way? I don't think so. This emotional or lack of emotion if I may, has become a part of me from doing the same thing over and over. I use to cry and feel depressed, but now I have to force myself to show remorse. It's not that I don't love the person, it's actually the opposite! I don't want to miss them because it hurts to be away from people you love. My philosophy is just don't think about it. It's scary how this actually works. At least for me. People have told me that I am cold and seems like I never cared about that person. You see before I was the opposite. I would be depressed for days, even months because of people I had said goodbye to. I ended up feeling miserable. I don't even know when the change happened in me. So I guess my subconscious decided enough was enough, let's go to the other extreme! As my family knows I am a person who can feel deep emotion as well as none. This is my problem. I can't just be in the middle it's one way or another. It is also something I'm trying to work on. The people in my life deserve my love and attention. When someone forces them self to be sad because they're leaving you, it doesn't feel good. So why would I want to do the same to them? I don't, but sometimes I can't help myself. We all have things we need to work on. This is only one example of my many flaws. But a war isn't one in one battle, it's won in many.
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