How can life be so infinitesimal, and look so massive? How can it possible pass so quickly, but seem so painfully slow at the same time? When you look at the grand scheme of things, and the overall existence of the universe, one human life is shorter than the blink of an eye. It’s nothing. We’re dust on the wind, as some have said before. Yet when confronted with the future, it doesn’t really seem that small.

I’m at a point in my life where my future is a lot closer than it has been. Of course, that’s true for everyone at every point of every person’s life, but right now I’m doing big things to impact the entire rest of my life. It’s scary, to put it plainly, because I’m worried I’ll make the wrong decision. I’m worried I’ll take a wrong turn and miss the freeway altogether.

The world really isn’t that big, and yet it seems a giant- sized map for me to traverse. Most people pick one spot, and then live there. That becomes their place. I’m not one of those people. I’m not good at making a decision unless I know each and every possible response, outcome, or consequence. I have to know the possibilities, the things that might go wrong, and all the benefits of each path I might take. But there’s still a problem there, because I could never see every square inch of the planet. It’s too big and my life is too short.

Of course, there’s also the worry that I won’t make an impact. I’m concerned about the lack of time I have left to me, and what to do in that short space. I want to spend it doing something amazing, but I also don’t want to waste any of it. I want to help people, and also do things for myself. I want to explore, and also enjoy a nice evening by a warm fire reading a good book. I don’t fit into any one category of person because I fit into virtually all of them. That creates a lot of anxiety and fear when thinking about the future and my place in it.

It’s probably insane for me to be this worried when you consider the fact that there’s no promise of tomorrow, and I might not even be around for that long. A bus tomorrow could hit me, or I could fall into some alternate universe. Something truly insane might happen, something that I would never predict. Some opportunity might land itself in my lap, which I will gladly take, or some undiscovered talent might reveal itself. The point is that no one ever knows anything. Nobody understands what their future holds, which is why it’s so scary for so many people. I’m scared. That’s the plain and simple truth of it. I’m scared, and I don’t know what to do or where to go. The world is just so big and so small at the same time.