Winking. It’s such a gamble. How can one do that? There so many things that can go wrong when one winks! First of all, it has to be timed right; one can’t just wink whenever—there has to be a specific moment in time of which calls for a wink. And then one has to do it at the perfect, exact instance for optimum wink capacity. But one’s face also has to have that certain, sly expression and one’s head must to be angled in that specific way.
This is not all. When winking it is not uncommon for the other eyelid to follow the one originally intended for winking in its decent downward, turning your cool, savvy wink into an awkward, and frumpy blink! Other times, one is a part of the organization of unfortunate souls who can only wink with one of their eyes, and on occasion, can forget which eye is the eye that can wink. So as you can see, disaster can strike if one’s head is turned for and angled in the intention of winking the eye that they unknowingly cannot wink. Also, at the pinnacle of your winking experience, your unruly and disobedience prone hair may fall into your face—as a direct cause-and-effect development of your perfectly angled head—therefore covering your eye and negating your wink!
Yet another!—yet another mishap frequently to be expected when winking is the phenomenon that can only be referred to as ‘the almost wink’. ‘The almost wink’ occurs when one unpracticed at winking goes for the wink, is confidant about the wink, but sadly—due to their neglect for preparation—their wink falls short as their rookie eyelid stops half way down, quivers desperately, and then travels back up again—a defeated soldier.
And this is only the beginning! There is a myriad—a slew of mishaps and misdemeanors of which can go horribly and terrifyingly awry when a brave heart forebodingly attempts the wink! It is such an incredible feat when entities of apparently a higher power successfully complete their wink! It is a miracle that anyone can achieve this when there is a landfill of mistakes and calamities and misadventures and this! this is over analysis!