March, 2020. Most in my generation will see this month as the beginning of the most memorable era of our lives. 

During my 9th period history class, unadulterated happiness rushed through my veins. After three relentless quarters of my freshman year of high school, fate gave me the break I so desperately craved on a silver platter: a global pandemic. My entire school erupted in cheers as our principal delivered the announcement we had prepared for all day after our rivals received a similar message two days prior: we should pack up our lockers and head home for a two week vacation (give or take a week or maybe even two if things became really serious). Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at the world’s naiveness. Those initial two weeks I thought it would take until I stepped into a classroom again ended up morphing into exactly two days shy of eight months.

Throughout the year since we got that fateful announcement, everything changed in ways I never would have believed possible; and many in my generation feel the same. My social circle collapsed, school became virtual, the word “zooming” took on a whole new meaning, and time usually spent elsewhere became family time. I love my family dearly, but they drove me to the brink of insanity! My parents took the idea of spending time together very seriously and thus began countless phases at my house including: mine and my mom’s baking phase, the family movie night phase, the family game night phase when the movie night phase failed, the phase where we all got sick of each other and all the phases, and many, many, many, many, others. Exchanging stories with friends confirms that they all shared similar experiences and even though we moaned and groaned about them in the moment, in hindsight I realize that if none else, at least they gave us something to laugh at with both our own and other families. 

Arguably the most impactful way the pandemic affected my generation was by turning social media into our main way of connecting with the world. Social media definitely helped me stay sane and it bridged me with people outside my inner circle, but I also think it created a gaping chasm between me and most of my classmates. Social media filters what people can say and it broadcasts stories aligning with the ideas of the majority. So, when face to face interactions halted, opinions of those, myself included, whose ideas do not align completely with the ones broadcasted became muffled. Becoming extremely outspoken turned into the only way to make others hear us, but if we did this we would surely get our names slandered and lose the majority of our peers’ respect. In other words, we would get ‘cancelled’ - as my generation calls it. Some, the more strongly opinionated, did not care about this and chose to speak up. But, when only the most extreme stance gets expressed, untrue stereotypes creep into peoples’ minds about entire groups. For those like me whose opinions fall somewhere in the middle, it traps us between a rock and a hard place. On one hand we feel stifled by society, and on the other, our ‘spokespeople’ truly do not represent us. I know I feel exhausted from this, and I worry that it is only a matter of time until someone blows up because they feel the same way - and the divide between everyone will only get deeper because of it.

On a more internal note, the pandemic has left me feeling much more self-sufficient. I had my ups and downs like everyone, but I came out on the other side okay. Freshman year I did a lot of people pleasing and sucking up, but after taking the time to know my new teenage self, I feel much more comfortable in my skin and I can feel the changes in my mentality. I know I definitely have a lot more room for improvement, like everyone else, but I am excited to keep going and figure things out along the way. Usually major pandemics and things like them do not get wrapped up in a nice bow, but by choosing to finish my essay with a feeling of  ‘completeness’ I am taking back the power that had been stripped away from me this entire year. Boy oh boy does it feel good.