For centuries, women and men have been treated as two opposite sides of a spectrum. Throughout humanity’s existence, the gap has increased between them, so much that you might as well call men and women two different species. And though we’re much better than we were before in terms of gender equality, we still have a long way to go. 

It isn’t pessimistic to think that the two genders will never become fully equal, because the notion that certain behaviors are attributed to certain genders is a notion that has been surviving since, well, “the beginning of time,” so to speak.

Notice how I included both genders in my description of gender inequality. I have not mentioned terms such as “misogyny,” a word now commonly used to describe gender inequality as a whole. I have chosen not to use this word because I believe that gender inequality is more than that. Misogyny is just a factor in the larger umbrella of mistreatment of humans in general.

And this is where feminism comes in. The feminism we know is the fight for women’s rights with slogans such as “the future is female” and “down with equality for women: LET’S STAY SUPERIOR!” 

But is this the right approach? I don’t mean to criticize feminism as a whole. It’s a wonderful thing, and I love the idea of women empowerment. I only mean to question those who take it too far. There’s a difference between fighting for women’s rights to meet the basic line of equality between both genders and fighting for the line to tip in women’s favor.

One might argue that this is the way to go, because after centuries of female mistreatment, men should know how it feels to be treated inferior. 

I dispute this with a simple, well-known proverb: two wrongs don’t make a right. 

We already have products such as Barbie dolls that give us a glimpse into a world where women are superior. 

While we’re on that topic, the new Barbie movie is an excellent example of what I’m trying to say. It demonstrates true gender equality by depicting a matriarchy in the Barbie world, the patriarchy in the real world, and the conclusion that neither gender should have a one-up on the other. “Kenough” tells us a story of what men have had to go through on the sidelines while women got all the attention for the misogyny they went through.

To continue, a popular fighting topic for women is the right to their body. There are two sides to that argument. Some women argue for the right to cover more skin so as not to satisfy the male gaze, and others fight for the right to show more skin without fear of being sexually abused or called names.

Nowadays, at social occasions and proms, I see men fully dressed while women wear extremely revealing outfits. I live in the United States, and this is simply what I have observed. I don’t mean to generalize, as this may not be the case in other places. But this is what I’ve seen.

My reaction is naturally disapproving. Not because I think women shouldn’t show a lot of skin, but because they’re doing it to satisfy the male gaze.

One might argue that these women aren’t dressing that way because of this reason, but because they want to. Their bodies, their rights.

This argument works to some extent, but becomes faulty as the number of people involved increases. It can’t be that every woman at a social occasion wants to dress that way. There must be some, if not a lot, who feel uncomfortable and get pressured into doing it. Or it could be that there are simply not enough options.

I speak from experience. I recently had a social occasion that required me to dress up, and when I searched for dresses online, practically all of them were backless or showing a lot of skin. It took me, quite literally, hours to find a mildly decent dress. So it could be that there are simply not enough clothing options for women that don’t show huge amounts of skin.

And it isn’t only women who have it hard during these special occasions. Whenever I see the men during these occasions, I can’t help but wonder – don’t they feel uncomfortably hot? In the winter, it’s understandable, but they must be sweating buckets in their heavy black suits in the summer. I can’t help but pity them, because shorts with a dress shirt and suit jacket are sure to raise a few eyebrows.

And that brings me to my next question – how is it that there are so many more options for women? Nowadays, women can wear pants and shorts freely. When a man wears a dress, nobody’s going to openly bully him, but it’s a rare sight. Though we’re much better than we were before, it’s going to take a lot for that to be normalized.

In addition, when men exhibit perfectly normal behaviors such as applying lip balm, they may be subjected to hate or name-calling. One of the most common reactions to these kinds of behaviors from men is to call them gay.

I have never understood this, and to this day, I’m still questioning it. 

First of all, I believe it to be utterly absurd. We must not be so naive as to believe that women are the only ones whose lips get chapped. Men need to use lip balm too, so why do we frown upon it or deem it as “gay behavior”? What defines gay behavior?

To answer that question, I’ve deduced that it’s any kind of behavior that a woman would normally do, such as applying lipstick or wearing dresses. And the only feasible explanation I’ve generated to back up this idea is that “gay,” by definition, is a man who likes another man romantically. And if the man in question wants to pursue a romantic relationship with his crush, he may want to exhibit “feminine” behaviors to gain the man’s interest, so as to formulate a relationship of two opposite genders in some shape or form. (“Lesbian” is the term used for women who like women). 

This is the best I can come up with to explain it, but I still wonder. I don’t mean to indirectly criticize gay people by defending men who are called gay, but if a man putting on lip balm is called gay and he is not gay, then you shouldn’t call him gay. It’s as simple as it sounds: don’t call someone something they aren’t. Nor should you assume what someone identifies as.

I also feel for the members of the LGBTQ+ community, because they have to work so hard to be accepted. Even now, when we call people gay as a response to behaviors we consider strange from a certain gender, we’re subtly insulting gay people, whether we know it or not.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be one of those stiff people who flinch at the slightest joke and take everything too seriously. But we should hold some baseline respect for everyone around us. Everything above that base line is kindness at different levels.

In conclusion, gender inequality is not the same as misogyny. Misogyny is half of the problem, and misandry is the other half. The solution to this problem is not to empower one gender over the other. We must all accept that we are all equals. We are all human, and that’s all that matters.