It was 9th grade — a period in my life where I felt unprecedentedly solitary.

I found myself isolated from all my classmates because I conflicted with our school's "most" popular boy.

I couldn't fit into my social environment. I was envious any time I witnessed other students inside their own fixed circle or spending time with a close partner. At the same time, I felt infinitely wistful when there was nobody else around me. I hated my pride. I really did. There always seemed to be an invisible wall between me and others.

One day, I had a breakthrough. I saw that each of them had an e-cigarette in their hand, and a strange idea came into my mind. I thought about what seemed like a one-size-fits-all solution that could reduce this social stress. This marked my first exposure to an e-cigarette.

As I vaped more and more, I paid closer attention to the impact of e-cigarettes on teenagers. Teens using e-cigarettes is a problem that should not be underestimated. A study conducted by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) showed that more than 2 million U.S. middle- and high-school students were using e-cigarettes in 2021.

Why are more teens turning to e-cigarettes?

One of the most common answers I uncovered is, "I just want to fit in."

Many people often mention e-cigarette use among teens and point out the physical and biological health threats rather than the more deadly problem, which is how sociable it is. This can negatively affect our mental health. Smoking made me feel like I was free of my parents' and teachers' constraints. It created the illusion of fulfilling my psychological needs and social vanity. We would vape on the way home, in the school restrooms, and could never just finish a TV show in bed without a RELX (a vape brand). As one girl said in her story published by The New York Times, vapes "are not messing with your lungs, they are messing with your head."

There were some moments when I felt terrified that I couldn't find my e-cigarette, when I felt intense cravings if I stopped vaping for hours, when I realized I couldn't even think without it. It was only then that I truly understood that I was already its slave. I cut off all nicotine products. But I'm lucky. Some teenagers are still swayed by e-cigarettes and wonder whether to quit. As a vaper and a quitter, I just want to tell you that I know what it feels like. We all get it. But it's not what you genuinely want.

When I addressed the issue of e-cigarettes, I found out that schools in China are using disciplinary punishments to force students to quit e-cigarettes, but this method can act adversely. Psychologist Erik Erickson put forward the idea of reactance, a phenomenon where people are motivated to do the very thing that is prohibited, just like e-cigarette use among adolescents.

Instead, parents and schools should abandon the traditional thought that extracurricular activities are useless and that students only need to study hard. We should be allowed to develop the passions and experiences necessary to quit the psychological addiction of e-cigarettes once and for all.

When I finally discovered that I genuinely loved myself, I realized my self-value should not be weighed down by external objects. Everything that life throws at us provides us the opportunity to learn more about ourselves as we work through it; it gives us a clear idea of what we want to do with our lives and gives us the skills to face more significant challenges later on. Being isolated is not a big deal, and it is not an excuse to give up on my own health because my bright future is still waiting to be embraced.