On December 13, 1989 in Reading, Pennsylvania, a future music legend was born. This soon-to-be superstar, Taylor Swift, has grown to become one of the most popular artists of the decade whose stories of heartbreak and love have attained universal success. Throughout the past 19 years, Swift has used her songs as a medium through which she can express herself and expose those who have hurt her. When it comes to relationships, she has experienced a vast variety of men who have helped her learn valuable lessons regarding self-worth and manipulation. Swift writes her songs to heal as well as to comfort her fans who relate and share a similar experience. Taylor Swift's relationships have influenced her songwriting as each one has helped her channel emotions that lead her to vent through her lyrics.
Taylor Swift’s relationship with John Mayer influenced her song “Dear John” in which she directly expressed her emotions about feeling used and manipulated. Mayer was 12 years older than Swift as she was only 19 when they were together. She called out Mayer’s manipulative nature when she wrote, “Dear John, I see it all, now it was wrong/ Don't you think nineteen's too young/ To be played by your dark twisted games” (Swift 2010). This lyric directly referenced the age gap between Swift and Mayer. Due to this difference in not only age but maturity and experience, they ended their relationship just a few months after it began. Mayer stated shortly after the release of this song that he felt humiliated and that he was unaware of her feelings before hearing it (Honore 2023). Swift expressed that she felt played by Mayer's “dark twisted games” which revealed the emotional toll that this relationship had on her. As a 19-year-old girl, Swift was still young and naive as she was amidst the transition into adulthood. This left her in a vulnerable place in which she let her guard down for a man who took advantage of her youth. Through “Dear John,” Swift was able to share the lessons she learned and write lyrics to heal her inner wound as well as to expose her manipulator.
Additionally, Swift's breakup with Jake Gyllenhaal inspired the lyrics within “All Too Well,” an emotional track that revealed their relationship stripped her of her innocence. She takes a journey through time to reflect on the moments she spent with her ex. She shared the good and bad memories that eventually led to their downfall. A major theme present within the lyrics is Swift’s feeling of losing herself and being deprived of her innocence. She directly called Gyllenhaal out when she said “you keep my old scarf from that very first week/ 'Cause it reminds you of innocence/ And it smells like me” (Swift 2021). She additionally took a stab at their age gap in the lyrics "I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age" (Swift 2021). Fans have speculated that the scarf Swift describes symbolizes her innocence being taken; something that she will never be able to get back. Although this romance was short-lived, lasting only around three months, it evidently left a strong impact on her as many feel it influenced one of her best songs to date. In November 2021, Swift re-released her album Red and produced a 10-minute version of “All Too Well” that added more narrative to the storyline (Hopper 2022). Swift gave insight into her relationship with Gyllenhaal and answered many questions fans have had since the original release in 2012. She was able to use this song as an outlet to heal and reflect on this painful breakup.
After Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas split in 2008, news started to circulate that he had left her for an actress, a subject she addressed in her hit song "Better Than Revenge." Swift’s rage is highlighted in the lyrics as fans believe this is one of her most anger-driven songs to date. After their breakup, Jonas moved on to actress Camilla Belle almost immediately. This infuriated Swift as she expressed in her song, “I’m just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey/ You might have him, but I'll always get the last word’” (Swift 2010). She also shamelessly calls out Belle in the lyrics “She's not a saint and she's not what you think/ She's an actress” (Swift 2010). Swift felt an overwhelming feeling of anger and her main goal was to make these vengeful emotions clear. She goes as far as to call out the situation when she hosted Saturday Night Live in 2009. During her performance, she sang “you might think I’d bring up Joe, that guy who broke up with me on the phone. But I’m not going to mention him in my monologue song,” ‘Hey Joe! I’m doing real well and I’m hosting SNL” (Swift 2009). Although her relationship with Joe Jonas was long gone, she still made a point to call him out on the poor way he chose to end their relationship. Hearing the news that he moved on almost immediately made Swift feel easily replaceable. Instead of letting these feelings consume her, she created a song that allowed her to vent and stick up for herself.
In an interview that Taylor Swift did with Elle Magazine, she dove deeper into her songwriting process when it comes to discussing her past relationships and revealed why she chooses to write about this emotional subject. Swift feels no shame when writing about her lowest moments. When it comes to her lyrics, no topic or emotion is off limits and no relationship is too private. The only difference between her songs and her diary is the addition of a melody. Swift is a bold individual who is not afraid to share her feelings (Tilchen 2019). In the interview she explains, “I love preserving memories … Like putting a picture frame around a feeling you once had. I like to use nostalgia as inspiration when I’m writing songs for the same reason I like to take photographs. I like to be able to remember the extremely good and extremely bad times” (Tilchen 2019). Swift strives to create her music to ensure her memories will never be forgotten. She also hopes that her songs resonate with others and help her fans heal if going through a similar experience.
Swift did not intend to capitalize off of her breakups as it is crucial to differentiate her fame and her exes' names. Her talent goes far beyond any relationship and it will never be acceptable to credit the singers' ex-boyfriends with her tremendous amount of success. Calling out men in her songs is not for her to gain profit, rather write about those who have hurt her and vent in the best way she knows how; through her lyrics. Swift makes it very clear that “If guys do not want me to write bad songs about them, they shouldn’t do bad things” (Kotb 2009).