Open Letter to all current “Pop Stars”

Dear “Pop Stars”,

I just absolutely love all the contributions that you have made to the music world these days. I’m sure that great musicians like Frank Sinatra and Johnny Cash would agree that you are just a bunch of winners.

I mean, what’s not to love about all the fantastic things you sing about. All of your constant partying, frivolous sex life, and that endless flow of cash to your personal bank account. Why wouldn’t a nation in a recession like to hear about people living carefree and over the top lifestyles? I mean, they might not live the same as you do, but who cares? Maybe if they hear about how great your life is, it might just cheer them up that someone out there is happy. Yeah, that is totally going to work.

Enough about your life though, let’s get back to your actual music. It may not have substance or anything remotely meaningful, but again, who cares? As long as you sell records, you get to have all those perks in your life and live the way that I mentioned earlier. So, what idiot what give all that up? Definitely not you, because you are certainly not idiotic at all.

So, I beg you, don’t ever stop what you are doing because I believe that you may be the best generation of musicians that this world has ever seen. You are the cream of the crop from Ke$ha to Justin Bieber to Taylor Swift and most especially Rebecca Black, the Jesus of pop stars. You need to continue to spread your genius the world over.

With love,
Emily Tingle
P.S. To all those idiots out there that don’t know this is sarcasm, let me sum it up for you in a way you might understand. These “pop stars” suck! Music hasn’t been this sucky for a long time. While there may actually be a couple good singers out there, the majority of them are just dumb blonde bimbos whose songs are so auto tuned and edited to cover up the fact that their actual singing voice is equivalent to the noise coming from a dying donkey!