List of oxymora (and one that shouldn't be):
Jumbo Shrimp
Civil War
Found Missing
Act Natural
Smart Teen Magazine

Guess which one I'm going to be talking about today!
That's right...put the jumbo butterflied shrimp aside, because I'm sick of pathetically pointless teen magazines.
Don't get me wrong- I'm a girl, I like fashion and makeup tips. But after reading the increasingly bland issues of Teen Vogue, Seventeen, (and, gulp, even "women's fashion" magazines like Vogue and InStyle) are leaving me completely...bored.
There used to be a time where I would run to my mailbox every day for the first week of the month in hopes that when I pulled down that little brown door I would find the latest issue of my magazine. And I wasn't picky- I read everything that ended up in the pile; Reader's Digest (a friend once laughed when I told her I had learned self-defense from an article in RD), Oprah, Forbes, whatever. I used to spend hours in my local library reading every inch of Seventeen- feeling like some pre-teen rebel. But now the time has come where I shrug when I see a new issue of what used to be my favorite reading. And the problem is how much they've dumbed down teen and fashion magazines.
I mean, how many times can you try to sell me the same perfume or nail polish? How many times can you make a weekly hair-calendar where every single picture looks the same except for maybe they changed a hairband or lowered a ponytail here or there? And the worst, how many times can you give me a completely bogus quiz titled something along the lines of "How Hot of a Kisser Are You?" (according to my results, pretty hot)?
And maybe the worst part is the attempt to have one article in the very back, hidden under the clutter of pull-out advertisements and obscure advice, the "real issues" of today's women.
Let me give you a hint: they all boil down to the same three things: drinking, drugs, and abuse. And I'm not saying these issues aren't serious. But come on, how many times can you write about the same issue with no new viewpoint and nothing to add to the story? Teen Vogue has had all of their sad, 2-page article in the past three months be about drinking. I read the comments in the next issue of the magazine and find there is only one type of comment they allow to be printed, the "thanks for bringing such a big issue to light" type, with the heart-wrenching accompaniment that isn't that heart-wrenching.
My question is this: Which magazine is going to step it up, and bring something new to the conversation?
We are teens, we are at the point in our lives when we are impressionable, and a point in our lives where we should be cultured with different opinions on important issues like the economy, the upcoming elections, or even local news- not everybody wants to hear about what "celebrity-stylist Trish McPerky" wants to tell us about hair-straightening, or who wore it better. Because, honestly, there's a time and place for that- I will always love to stare at a couple pages of pretty baubles I'll never own. I'm not trying to act "mature" by reading grown-up magazines, in fact I might shed a tear over the adolescence I'll lose through the printing press. But if every single page is going to be covered with garbage, when every article is going to be about some up-and-coming star who's mother was someone pretty, I'm going to go back and shield myself with Vanity Fair and Wired. Sure, the topics in the magazines I read now can be pretty mature- but at this point I'd rather learn how to make a difference than how to make a power-smoothie.