These days all the trees in the world are being plowed over. I mean, trees are used for so many things that it makes you wonder why the heck we should spare a single one? The answer is: we shouldn’t.

After careful consideration on the subject, I have converted my beliefs. My current view on logging is: Kill the trees man! All those tree huggers and hippies can go hug fence posts for all I care! Some crazy people argue that logging forests destroys habitat for animals, but animals can hurt people, so animals are bad. If you want people to die because of these vicious animals then what kind of person are you?! Even so, if you are some kind of nature freak and feel the need to see animals, there is a very simple solution; go to the freaking zoo! That place where animals are kept in nice little cages. Where you can always see them through the glass walls and knock on the on the sides so you can make them do something interesting. Isn’t it just so fun to drive them crazy like that! And the better part still is: they can never do anything about it!. Ahhhh, Such a lovely place

Now back to subject of logging, I happen to think that these loggers who everybody is always ratting on have a dream job. They can sit back and eat on their spare time, and spend the rest of their working hours in the great outdoors appreciating nature’s fertility.

A couple months ago, I was reading this article in some newspaper (made from trees) about a girl who started living in a tree to keep people from cutting it down, she pooed in a bucket and got food from her friends on the ground. Like how far are you willing to go lady?!? Anyway I think they just plowed over all the trees around it. Nice going.

As I think about all those lumberjacks who are out there taking the time each day to go around killing the oldest life forms on earth, I know they are truly the face of America. America is built on the idea of clearing away the natural land in order to build sparkling new metropolises for the continued thriving of mankind.

Its nice to know that our country’s image is some old white guy in a ridiculous checkered hat and xxl overalls.

When people start getting all en-vi-ro-mental-what on me I just remind them that who can stand the sight of all of that hideous old growth blocking off your view. It is so much nicer to look at a giant resort golf course that spreads for miles flat as a table top.

One last thing to think about when cutting down all those trees is that there is tons of prime real estate, ski slope potential, country club land, and endless other opportunities for making tons of money to be had with all the land you uncover when logging. And with all of that wood from those annoying trees, you can provide countless kindergarteners with popsicle sticks and countless more farmers with the toothpicks that are so important to their image. None of these great American items would be possible without logging. Well anyway, here is my opinion, written on paper, made from trees.