Why do we do that? Why do we and everyone we love choose people who treat us like trash? We allow people to walk all over us like welcoming mats. We grant them permission to walk through the beautifully painted doorway to our hearts so they can mosey right past the scenery with a sharp blade dragging behind them ready to pierce through the blood-pumping organ that keeps our flame burning ever so heavenly. The blood then flows back out through the stained doorway and revokes our ability to recognize we are drowning and transforms the instinct to save ourselves into a bitter sweet comfort because the taste of the blood they draw has become a favorite. The pain they inflict becomes worth it because we’d rather lose ourselves, than lose them. We place them on a pedestal and bow before their false beauty in hopes we’d planted enough roots for them to admire our gaze. We beg for a droplet when we deserve the ocean. The love story we create in our heads becomes their playground to manipulate. We see their happiness as our own so we don’t have to accept the fact that we never really had any. We kill a part of ourselves to keep them alive. We allow their very own identity to envelop ours until our self worth and self respect diminishes into dust and our skin melts through the miniscule spaces between our fingers. We melt into the water they bathe in. We allow ourselves to only be vulnerable to the bare minimum because it’s what we’re accustomed to. We accept the love we think we deserve.