Katniss, Peeta, Gale. Bella, Edward, Jacob. Belly, Conrad, Jeremiah. The names change, but the trope remains the same — a girl caught between two equally enticing boys, with the author dropping not-so-subtle hints throughout the series about who will win her heart in the end.

In a society filled with young adults struggling to maintain just one romantic relationship, the last thing we need to read about is a girl juggling two. This narrative often sends a troubling message about cheating: infidelity is acceptable in the pursuit of true love.

Additionally, as the main character switches between her love interests, the gap between fiction and reality widens. These fictional men display an almost unbelievable level of understanding, seemingly unfazed by her indecision and the emotional turmoil it causes. Audiences swoon over the romance. That is, until they consider how they would feel if their significant other behaved similarly.

These unrealistic expectations are further reinforced in the protagonist at the center of the love triangle, who is often pampered and spoiled. Some may argue that these expectations are important as society has set the bar for dating too low; in turn, these indulgent instances are required to build up habits of expressing love and care throughout the relationship. So, this is not to say there is nothing to learn from love triangles.

Admittedly, love triangles can remind one boy that his love for the girl is only on the surface, and he does not care for her as much as the other could. This realization highlights the value of relationships, an important lesson about balance and care on both sides. Relationships are a two-way street that doesn’t include a U-turn option when the girl is ready to try out the other guy. However, even with the possible epiphany of what counts as true love and the emphasis on consistency, a person cannot rely on those reasons alone to justify a love triangle.

The uncertainty faced by all three characters involved in the love triangle is unhealthy for the emotional capacity of a teenager. From a psychological perspective, the deficit of self-esteem and overburden of jealousy is extremely distracting to other priorities, such as the character’s education. If you were picked to be in The Hunger Games, would you have time to fret over the pros and cons of being with your survival partner or childhood best friend? The dilemmas faced by these characters offer a rose-tinted view of the reality of managing relationships.

Even more concerning is the tendency for love triangles to prioritize romantic relationships over familial ties. In The Summer I Turned Pretty, a coming-of-age romance, two brothers, Conrad and Jeremiah, compete for the affection of their childhood family friend, Belly. When Conrad sees Jeremiah kiss Belly, the plot turns into a spring semester filled with tension between the once tight-knit brothers. Though the brothers were facing their mom’s recent passing due to cancer, the trauma was overshadowed by romance, another situation that is only normalized because of fiction. Furthermore, how often do you see two brothers going after the same girl? Evolutionary psychologists share a common view developed from Darwin’s first ideas on survival: love is an adaptation to reproduce for survival purposes. However, because family structures provide the resources necessary for a child’s well-being during their early development, few brothers will threaten their bond to compete over a girl.

Love triangle authors also tend to diminish all three love interests to the point that audiences are rooting for the awkward, fourth side character only brought in to serve as a reminder of what a good boyfriend should be like — the other two, get your heads out of the sand! The love triangle only reduces the authors’ writing quality, and I promise the extra 20 pages of back-and-forth indecision are unnecessary.

The addition of love triangles in the later seasons of a television series also feels tacky. The show seems to make a joke out of the past three years you spent watching the characters connect. It undermines the investment viewers have made in the character’s emotional journey, reducing it to a punchline, especially when it is obvious that the original pair will end up back together.

Overall, the inclusion of love triangles in media has attracted fans for the wrong reasons: glamorized cheating, indecisiveness, broken family bonds, and pointless additional pages. All of these ideas have cemented a line between what is appropriate in fiction and what is appropriate in reality. The next time you cheer on a complicated love triangle in pop culture, consider whether you are only validating the situation because it is made up.