Scientifically, family is bounded by the thick red blood that courses through our veins. However I believe that family is about the bodies that stand by us, the unseen hands that lift us when we fall, and silent hearts that love us unconditionally. From my perspective in the most unexpected places we find our true family.

When I was younger, my family called me an “Indigo Child” which is a child with high intelligence, intuition and empathy. And it is true. I have always done super well in school, I have strong gut feelings, and I typically am able to understand other people's feelings. This made me what my mom calls the “easy child” since all my other siblings are autistic, making my sisters have all the attention on them. To my mother, my life was easy, getting high grades, having a high opportunity rate, and being talked about highly, was the normal expectation. This being said my mom would leave me to do everything on my own. Need help? “Figure it out.” What about my other family? You may ask if a lot of them are either dead, live far away, or  just do not care. Sometimes I would try to act like my siblings to try and gain her attention. However instead of praise I got a corner. For this particular reason I felt completely on my own, knowing I could not even rely on my own mother and that no tactic worked. Which was a lot for a kid my age.

Reluctantly I met an extraordinary group of kids from my school. Thay are ten toes down no matter what at all times. They do not let me cry for too long. They played the roles of family that my blood never could. Finally getting that deep breath of air after suffering for so long made me realize I cannot rely on my own blood. Instead I rely on my day ones. My family. The only thing that links me to my blood is one last name.  It is the friends I made along the way that I call family. They found me at my lowest and brought me to who I have become now.

The feeling of being supported is crucial in human nature. This understanding helped me see that the people who stood by me and supported me, have been more family than my  biological family ever has. They have been my rock. For example any time I lie they dont ask questions they just go with it. Or if im in a sticky situation they are right behind me for support. One time i was out with my friends and a guy that really messed with my feelings texted me for the first time in forever. I broke down immediately. They turned me around, huddled around me, let me let it out and did not let anyone see other than them. They asked no questions, and just waited for me to be okay. Rather than with my mom she’d probably just tell me to suck it up. This connection taught me that family does not have to be defined by genetics, but by the bonds we create through shared experiences, mutual respect, and unwavering support.

To sum up everything that has been started so far, while blood may define my biologically family, the true essence of family is who you choose. Not who you are assigned.  Who you feel supports you when you are not at your best. Who lifts your spirits, and is loyal, and that does not have to start with blood. Family is more than biological relationships.