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Moving On
Moving on can be a very difficult process and needs to be undertaken with masses of mental strength. I tried everything myself to move on and I found it extremely difficult but with the right methods, it was possible. I am not saying that these methods will definitely work but I'm quite sure that if they worked for me, they can work for others too.
Firstly, perhaps the nature of my broken heart will differ from that of yours. I fell in love but so soon after, she got with another boy. I was incredibly hurt and I never knew it could be this bad. I cried day and night over her. So my opinion is that irrespective of the nature, moving on can be undertaken with the same plan.
The first thing you must do is tell someone and let it all out. I'm sure you all have friends in which you feel comfortable talking to about anything. I was blessed with one of these friends myself but I failed to utilise her efficiently in the earlier stages. The best thing to do is to bring out some of the bad points of the person who broke your heart. I agree that you will probably see none, viewing the person as perfect, no one is perfect. Feel free to insult this person when talking to a friend but make sure that it never gets really out of hand and other people hear. It can end your chance with the one you love (and are trying to move on from anyway) but also end your friendship. A good friend will be there to comfort you during any really emotional phases you go through so never ever keep things secret entirely. Also, my advice is to possibly not talk to the one who broke your heart. You fell in love with them for reasons like their appearance, personality or whatever and so nothing prevents you from falling for them still and remaining in the same, broken-hearted position.
Alongside talking to a close friend, try going out places with them, or with a group of friends, to have a good time. Show the one who broke your heart that you will not be too hurt because I believe that once they break your heart, they know they can control you because you will always go back to them and beg forgiveness. This is a sign of weakness which must be avoided, against your own will and heart. Going out places is an amazing diversion in itself but it also provides you with a new outlook on life where you have fun with friends rather than chasing love.
Emotional songs are always a danger and can suck you straight back into the emotional state where you are trying to relieve yourself from. I was one who continued listening to love songs despite my broken heart, I guess I just held on to the glimmer of hope I had of being with this girl. Turn your attentions away from this and towards other music which doesn't contain a strong sense of love. I was lucky that I was fond of rock music and this did help to release my anger at the situation and increase my desire to move on though I would always end up listening to love songs anyway. This is a total no-no, please refrain from listening to these songs. Even today when it's a year on from when my heart broke, I stay clear of love songs because I think they may just turn my feelings backwards.
I read somewhere that taking up a sport of some sort will help as it diverts your mind. However, I completely lost my drive for football following breaking my heart but I was lucky enough to have availability to gym equipment at my house. It became very addictive, a way of life if you want, and I believe this has played a huge part in my recovery. It gave me something to aim for and also I reaped the rewards in that I attracted more attention from girls. Of course, it's still too early to love again and the right time will come but this has definitely had it's major plus sides.
A final ting to mention is do not be afraid to love again in the future. You may feel yourself falling for someone but decide to fend off the feeling because of your past experiences. Seriously, there is someone out there for you, in fact there are many out there who you could be satisfied with. It's just a job of being extremely patient and not giving your heart away to one girl who you are not yet with or have only been with for a short period of time. Best of luck to you all in recovering from your heartbreak and finding someone to spend you life with.
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This article has 2 comments.
ok im a girl and i could totally understand u!
and the love songs thing is completely true.....
i've been in your position and it's difficult to get that person out of your head!No matter how hard you try to get over that person how much time it takes...to tell you the truth you'll still have some feelings for that person even when you may say i'm over that person. You still have tiny feelings but they're not fully in effect anymore so it's ok and it's normal. You can't ever forget the people you have loved the most before
Boy is it hard to move on! But we have to think life goes on....time heals and it's all good (: thanks for writing this article! It really helped! I'm a tag this as a favorite!(: