Young and Confused | Teen Ink

Young and Confused

March 31, 2011
By Anonymous

We claim that boys are difficult but what about us - the girls? We may have the more sensitive side in a relationship considering the fact that we can be a tad more emotional about things, but the guys aren't the only ones who are confused about what they want.
I mean, girls tend to do idiotic things in terms relating to guys - I should know. Change who they are into someone more appealing to whomever they're trying to please...dump friendships for guys they claim they "love"...you know, crazy stuff.
Or maybe even break up with boys for no apparent reason. However, inside, we know EXACTLY why we decided to head down to Splitsville. The answer? Commitment/Attachment issues. You want to end it with them before they can go and break your heart. You'd rather have their's shattered than yours be eternally wounded. As in: Break them before they break you. Get what I mean? Usually the 'issues' begins because you've watched your own parents' marriage go down the toilet and you don't want the same faith for you. Or maybe you've already experienced what it felt to have your heart crumpled by someone you thought of as your Prince Charming and is afraid for it to happen again(that's my story). Either way, we all have problems - whether or not we're willing to admit it.

Do you agree? Disagree? What's YOUR opinion?


The author's comments:
I just thought that even though guys can be heart breakers, we need to remember that we have our own problems and should consider it the next time you start to think things are heading down hill. "Why did he break up with me?" "He cancelled on the last minute, how come?" Things like that...

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This article has 12 comments.


normgrl GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 10:03 pm
normgrl GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
13 articles 11 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do we eat to live or live to eat?

Oh, and thank you. Yes, in the end, I was able to be honest with him. However, I very much regret my decisions. (I'm sorry for having such a shor reply, I don't have computer access...simply my cell phone. I promise to take time to reply to your comment tomorrow when I have computer access. Sorry and thank you.)

normgrl GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 9:58 pm
normgrl GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
13 articles 11 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do we eat to live or live to eat?

Regarding your first girlfriend, I am terribly sorry. Although, I am glad that you able to start anew with a better girlfriend - a much better person. That's a good thing. However, when it comes to honesty, that's even more important - at least I think so. But the thing is, some girls, they have a reason for their little white lies. Either it's because of something that happened in their past, inabling them to completely hand over their trust to somebody (similar to your case) or they're trying to spare others' feelings. although, it might not be a 'good enough' reason, to girls, they feel that they must. Don't ask why, I don't know either ^^

normgrl GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 4:13 pm
normgrl GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
13 articles 11 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do we eat to live or live to eat?

Thank you so much. And you shouldn't change yourself for their sake because if they like you, they will love the REAL you not who you're trying to become. Never change for a guy. Be who you are - always, and you shall find your prince. I mean, you most definitely do not want them to fall in love with someone who's not even you. You want the guy to fall for the girl your truly are inside.

audball SILVER said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 1:44 pm
audball SILVER, Stanwood, Washington
7 articles 1 photo 7 comments
I agree whole-heartedly.  I know that I have been changing myself a lot trying to get the guy i like to notice me.  I watch what I say around him and I try to seem very sophisticated.  He's a jerk, and everything, but I've just started to realize that part of it is really me too...  I like this.  Keep writing!

on Jul. 13 2011 at 1:28 pm
Mudder_Hacky SILVER, Fowlerville, Michigan
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

there is a compelling absence in this post: a guy.

haha yeah...

 

anyways, i always appreciate deep thinking and when somebody is willing to accept a problem that they or their peers have, and do agree with most of what is said here. i refuse to comment much on the topic of manhood because i am one of the rare specimen who is straight but not at all afraid of losing his man-card (in fact, i think i lost it, like... years ago... but i digress)

it's honestly somewhat troubling to be a complex male. for the most part, it's a lot like i'm just the girl in the relationship; in fact, two of my three girlfriends have teased about it at least a little bit. however, whether i'm a guy or girl, the past affects the present, definitely. my first girlfriend, who i dated for the longest time yet (like, six months, but the whole drama of it all lasted fourteen); she'd like, hide things and talk behind my back yet was able to say it straight to my face that she wasn't hiding anything and wasn't lying. i believed her, and my heart was broken doubly when i found out i was right (and then she started dating the guy who i thought was my best friend, proving me further right.)

now, i've grown up, and i know that my current girlfriend is not that same first girlfriend, but still, i see myself having issues with trusting her. i trust her with my friends; that isn't it; no, i have good friends now. my struggle right now is just when i ask if something's wrong and she says there isn't. the first gf - i'd ask her that all the time, because i just couldn't get off of it. there was something wrong, i'd find out; but she always said no.

i plead one thing from all of you girls for us guys: honesty. i know that bluntness is rarely in you, but at least try to help your boyfriend know how you feel if he's willing to open up sensitively and try to help you. please.

wow - that was long.


normgrl GOLD said...
on May. 6 2011 at 6:09 pm
normgrl GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
13 articles 11 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do we eat to live or live to eat?

Hmm...interesting. Your comment made me think even more about the topic.

Sweet.


on May. 6 2011 at 6:07 pm
another great topic sis! well, what you say is surely correct. girls do tend to do excatly this but u should know i havnt been in situation like this. So i wont know girls do this. but it is true, they do do this for some reason. Maybe it is because of things they have seen or things they are afraid will happen in future....

normgrl GOLD said...
on May. 3 2011 at 8:38 pm
normgrl GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
13 articles 11 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do we eat to live or live to eat?

Very good question. Hm, I guess we're also afraid of the consequences. It's often that we don't trust guys because of our past which in return, ruins the future forming us into "bitter shrews". Of course, that doesn't happen all the time.

And guys in the other hand, like you said, want to find a girl who they know trust them - and they trust back - before showing the sensitive side they may be hiding...

So, I guess we're all just afriad of our fellings...what do you say?


annelindy said...
on May. 2 2011 at 11:11 am
Yeah, I agree. It's not right. Guys really want to share with girls, but only if they know that they can be fully trusted. For guys about the worst thing a girl can do it undermine their sense of manhood by telling them that they aren't man enough, when they only want to be understood and respected. Can't we girls give them that? If we demand love, why can't we simply give respect in return? It's so twisted sometimes.

normgrl GOLD said...
on Apr. 28 2011 at 3:07 pm
normgrl GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
13 articles 11 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do we eat to live or live to eat?

Ah...manipulation...our number one weapon, don't you agree?

And yeah, I guess we underestimate their feelings too much and become stereotypical. They can be sensitive too - just try not to be...


on Apr. 26 2011 at 8:06 pm
lyanndriel SILVER,
5 articles 0 photos 39 comments

yeah i agree :)

Some girls have a tendency to be manipulative. In all honesty, it's easier to understand guys sometimes 'cause they're blunt (for the majority). Can avoid alot of confusion and hidden poison darts when you simply ask the guy what's up (in a gentle sort of way or else he'll get defensive)


rin22 said...
on Apr. 17 2011 at 6:47 pm

Yeah, I think you have a point. We do have issues, although we might never ever admit it out loud. 

So, we may blame the guys for most of the problems but really, we're just as bad as they are.